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Parenting

Creative ways to deal with sibling disputes (age 5 and 9)?

2 replies

Weta · 13/05/2013 10:00

DS1 (9) is generally a sensitive, loving boy but at times is really mean to DS2 (5). Other times they play happily for hours and DS1 is kind to him.

There was an incident this morning where DH had told them they had to get in a particular door of the car in our new garage, but DS1 told DS2 he had to squeeze into the other door even though DH had said not to, which then made things fall down from the garage wall and scratch the car. DH wants to ban DS1 from TV for a week but I feel this is DH's reflex punishment and doesn't always achieve much, and would prefer to find something that would actually make DS1 think about his behaviour and how he treats DS2 sometimes. I wasn't there at the time but DH is prepared to consider alternatives.

DS1 has just completed 4 days without TV for a previous instance of being mean to his brother (essentially the culmination of lots of other incidents), and I don't think a further TV ban is really going to help.

They were fighting yesterday so I got them each to do some tidying for the other, but am trying to come up with some other ideas of ways to get the message across to DS1 to stop hassling his brother.

Any ideas??

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Andro · 13/05/2013 11:28

This one sounds to be less about hassling his brother and more about going against his dad's instructions (which he did by telling his bro to use a different door) and damaging the car. How about car cleaning duty (inside and out) under supervision (as punishment for doing against dad's instructions)? Then one you you have a chat with his brother, about waiting for mum or dad to come back if his big bro tries this again.

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Weta · 13/05/2013 11:40

Thanks... DH seems to think it was more about controlling DS2 and telling him what to do rather than going against instructions. Otherwise I like the fact that it's linked to the car, but I think something linked to DS2 is probably needed. And good idea about talking to DS2 about how to handle such a situation.

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