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Getting desperate

(8 Posts)
Notsoyummymummy1 Wed 08-May-13 20:52:57

My 15 month old dd has never been a good sleeper but things are getting no better and I feel at my wits end. Every night we bath her at 7:00, dim the lights, read her a story but she's so awake she just won't settle. We can spend anything up to two hours trying to get her to settle. We tried controlled crying but it didn't work - she just got hysterical. I'm desperate to get some time in the evening with dh but it never happens. I have trouble settling her during the day too because she's so lively - she has a 90 minute or so nap in the morning about 10:00 and about 45 mins in the afternoon about 3:00 but the only way I can get her to nap is if I take her for a walk in her pushchair or rock her in her pushchair. It's just getting so stressful going through the same rigmarole every night - I feel like I dread it but I don't know what else we can do.

Roshbegosh Wed 08-May-13 20:54:21

Sorry this sounds so tough. I wonder if persevering with the controlled crying would be the thing to do.

PoppyWearer Wed 08-May-13 20:59:55

I would say drop down to one nap and see how that goes - keep her awake until after lunch. Hopefully you will then see her nap for two hours and bedtime might get easier.

My DC2 is 20mo and just a rubbish sleeper in general, so you have my sympathy.

pod3030 Wed 08-May-13 21:04:24

I feel your pain.
my dd was the same at this age, and i did a combination of rapid return and gradual withdrawal.
it took nerves of steel and stamina, as dd would stand up in cot and cry, i'd comfort by rubbing back then promptly lie her down without saying much, just 'bedtime', then instantly she'd spring up and i'd do it all over again.
i set aside a period of time to dedicate to this, i'm on my own so no dh to help. one night it took 4 hours of standing over the cot,no eye contact, quiet, before she fell asleep. then gradually she would stay lying down longer, and be reassured just by seeing me there, then i started to stand further and further from the cot. She is 18m now and still has her moments but i can put her down awake,sneak out and a lot of the time she can self settle.

The trick for me was not to think of what you are missing out on whilst you're doing it- just focus on the task in hand, like a job of work!
good luck

QTPie Wed 08-May-13 21:17:51

I would drop one nap too (and try a fairly early lunch before a nap at about 12/12.30). If you are struggling to get her to settle, then it shouldn't be too hard up keep her awake...

DS used to go to sleep for naps in pushchair, but at about 14 months we swapped to settling in the cot (put a spare mattress, duvet and pillow on the floor next to his cot and shushed/handheld/backpatted to sleep). Sounds mad but it worked (at night too) and we (took it in turns) were comfortable too. Once that worked (at teething was out of the way) we did the Supernanny Gradual Withdrawal method, took about two weeks to slowly get out of the room and he self settled)

silverangel Wed 08-May-13 21:37:57

I agree - push the 10am nap to about 1115 / 1130 and drop the second nap all together. Push it back in 15min stages every couple of days. DTs were on one nap a day from about 11.5 months. Now at 21 montrhs they have one hour maximum or they will be up for ages.

lola88 Thu 09-May-13 12:39:19

Drop down to one nap it worked wonders for DS he's also 15mo. I don't let DS sleep for more than 90 mins a day and he needs to be awake from his nap at 2pm latest, I ignored my own rule yesterday as he was grumpy and not himself let him sleep or 2.5 hours and he was up until 9.15 laughing at me! I find DS needs to be awake for at least 5 hours before he's tired enough to sleep also a long for a toddler walk before dinner helps

lifesobeautiful Thu 09-May-13 14:20:42

Ugh nightmare! Agree with previous posters. Drop her morning nap, feed her lunch at 11am/11.30 and put her down for her nap at 12. Then put her down in her cot and keep persevering until she gets the hang of it.

I'd leave her, go back in, pat her back, reassure her, leave, go back in. It will work eventually. You can do this for both afternoon naps and evening sleep. You'll then get time off at lunch time - bliss! - and hopefully get your evening back. You may even find she needs to go to bed a bit earlier than 7 if you cut out the one nap - as being overtired will make it even harder for her to go to sleep.

Good luck!

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