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For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

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For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Parenting

Playing with your Kids

39 replies

UglySister · 19/05/2006 19:40

How much do you play with your kids? Am I the only one that thinks "playing" is the most dull thing in the world? It drives me insane amd I probably should do a lot more of it! Am I alone here? Isn´t this expaction that parents should play with their kids quite a recent thing?

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Clayhead · 19/05/2006 19:43

Play with them loads, personally I find it's as interesting as you make it.

My parents and grandparents played loads with me (1970s).

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blueteddy · 19/05/2006 19:53

Not as much as I should. I am shattered after work (I work in a school) & they play together in the playroom or garden.
When I just had DS1 I definitely played with him more, but now he has DS2 to play with, I get less involved.

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UglySister · 19/05/2006 19:54

How old are they? Mine´s a pre-schooler.

Funny, my parents NEVER played with me, I was sent out to play with the other kids in the street so don´t have any concept of parents-kids playing together!

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blueteddy · 19/05/2006 19:56

My DS's are 6.5 & 3.
I am a terrible mother - hence I am posting on bad mother thread!!!

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blueteddy · 19/05/2006 19:57

My MIL comes round to look after DS2 while I am at work on Thursdays & plays with him constantly. Don't know where she gets the energy - she is in her 70's!!

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FairyMum · 19/05/2006 19:57

I play lots. Like Clayhead, my parents played lots with me when I was a child in the 70s too. Personally, I think it's one of the most important things you can do with your child. Let them take the lead, make up the rules and just enter their world for a few hours.

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UglySister · 19/05/2006 20:00

Isn´t it good and important for kids to play on their own? I think they´re lucky just to have their own area, especially a garden to play in! I don´t htink I´m a bad mother but I do wonder if I should play more at home, rather than take her out so much..

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Gem13 · 19/05/2006 20:00

Mine didn't play with me.

I was into teaching teddies and dolls, then as soon as I could I read and read.

I find it difficult but am trying to do better.

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handlemecarefully · 19/05/2006 20:00

Uglysister - sadly I feel the same as you do - find it all a bit brain numbing. Would love to be a parent that can find some enjoyment from playing with my 2 pre-schoolers. My dd is constantly asking me to play with her and I feel trapped and cornered.

On the up side, I do enjoy reading to them, and doing some arts and crafts with them, plus going for walks and to the park / other outdoor activities

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UglySister · 19/05/2006 20:02

Phew, I am not alone!! Any tips on the arts and crafts Handlemecarefully?

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Gem13 · 19/05/2006 20:02

I was a child in the 70s but not a child of the 70s. My parents were in their early 40s when I was little (not so amazing now) and had 2 older children to supervise - homework, driving lessons, etc.

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spidermama · 19/05/2006 20:02

It seems to me that those who were played with by their parents are able to play with their kids.

My parents didn't play with me. I sometimes make myself play with my kids and I even enjoy it sometimes, but it doesn't come naturally or often.

Luckily dh is up there playing with them now. His mum played with him as a child.

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blueteddy · 19/05/2006 20:03

I can't remember my parents playing with me at all.

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Witchycat · 19/05/2006 20:06

I can relate to what you are saying UglySister. I've found it goes in phases though. Used to love starting 'pretending' games with ds (shops, schools, tea parties etc..) & doing voices for his teddies and such but then he got so into it, wanting to do the same thing over & over that it drove me nuts.

Now he's nearly 5 and plays football with his Dad or things like Snakes & Ladders or jigsaws or construction kits with either of us. Have just taught him draughts as well. I can cope more easily with those sorts of games.

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handlemecarefully · 19/05/2006 20:08

Oh just general painting and sticking etc....

I have an Usborne book with suggestions of things to do in it which I have found invaluable "The Big Book of Things to Do" - it's fab. Got some things you can make together (with easy to follow idiot proof steps) in it, and includes baking and cooking suggestions. I'm happy with that sort of thing (I try to do one of these activities a couple of times per week)...but when dd suggests playing 'monsters' (chasing each other, growling etc) or hide and seek with the same hiding spot used every bloody time - well then I just feel like sticking my head in a bit vat of burning oil, i.e. boiling my head!

Incidentally, do you have a branch of 'The Works' near you? They sell a large cardboard house for £7.99 with lots of illustrations on the side which the lo's can colour in. Has kept dd busy for a good long while

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PanicPants · 19/05/2006 20:12

I LOVED playing games with my mum amd dad, I'd always ask to play a board game in the evening, or play act out a story, or in the summer play hide and seek.
I can't wait until ds is old enough for that sort of thing.

But atm he's only 8months and I find that playing is limited and I think he's happier to 'study' toys and boxes etc on his own. Sometimes I feel sooo guilty about not playing together, although he's always with me and I chatter away to him when I cooking or doing something for the house.

He does constantly look at me and smiles and laughs.

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Clayhead · 19/05/2006 20:26

PanicPants, mine are 2 and 4 now and we are in the board game stage, it's great, brings back loads of lovely memories for me. In fact, we even use some of the same games I played with my brother and parents as a child.

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spidermama · 19/05/2006 20:28

Board games and games like Charades, with proper structure and rules, are a different matter. It's the made-up, role play type stuff which I have difficulty opting into.

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FairyMum · 19/05/2006 20:32

It doesn't have to be stressful. I find I don't have to do much, just be part of their game. I spent about 6 months when DS1 was obsessed with transport being a passenger on a bus,plane,boat,rocket and I am often a patient in DD's hospital. I find that if I get carried away and start to "take over" the game, I am told off very firmly anyway.

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Mala · 19/05/2006 20:35

I'm glad I'm not alone. I find playing with my dd extremely boring(3 yr old). She's so into role play and I don't mind for really short spurts, but I get really weary after a while. My parents never played with me either. Dh does play more with her, but then again he does spend alot less time with her. I know it sounds awful, but the more I play with her, the more she expects it and I rather she learnt to play independently. I do feel awful about it, but it's the only way to keep my sanity.

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Spatz · 19/05/2006 20:37

I've also found it hard to play with them and felt guilty about it. I particularly dislike 'pretend' games.
As they've got older I really enjoy lego, board games and doing 'real' things like gardening.

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Spatz · 19/05/2006 20:38

I also think we're giving them a real gift by 'teaching' them to entertain themselves

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FilyjonktheSnibbet · 19/05/2006 20:52

yeah i'm crap at playing with them

think they do need to learn to play alone but that playing with them-their rules-is also good.

but their rules are effing tedious. i cannot enjoy driving a fecking train round and round a track, i just can't.

think its important to do something with them on their terms. eg with ds i often draw story for him, he tells the story and I draw it. that sort of thing.

failing that, going somewhere with alpha mums usually shames me into playing with them for a bit.

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threebob · 19/05/2006 20:59

I take ds out a lot, I use a hip seat and so I can talk to him about the stuff we see. It isn't playing but it is one on one time and we can do stuff we both like - going on the tram and eating in a cafe, going to the library and then paying in money in the bank -that sort of thing. I do cooking with him (cakes, but also just normal making a sandwich) and he sorts out the washing. I present these as play.

We play board games, hullaballo and playdough together, and we both read to him.

Dh handles playing at making Thomas Track, Lego and building blocks. I don't know if he enjoys it - but he does it so I've never asked.

My dad played a lot with me (and still thinks that ds needs 12 hours a day of entertaining), but my mum more got something out and then did some cooking or something.

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Em32 · 19/05/2006 21:09

Blimey thought it was just me feeling guilty all the time for being crap. Having said that yesterday I made a real effort and did jigsaws/played trains and did some painting with ds as well as taking him to the regular music class he goes to. He was a complete star all day. Today, however has been a different story (see thread about to post). I don't remember being played with much as a child, I was very into my imaginary play and always outside when I was small. I have to say I really hate staying in with the children on my own, I am uncomfortable in my own company most of the time so spend a lot of time going to classes/in neighbours houses/outside or at the shops when dh isn't around.