11mo & tantrums

[Cosmo89]

DS is 11mo

Breakfast used to be the only meal he properly ate. We gave ready brek & rice cakes, plenty of water, followed by whatever he wanted of milk.

For the past few days he's had full on tantrums in the high chair. Starts off ok, will nibble on a rice cake and have some water. Then gets very upset when I try to give him cereal, and repeatedly throws things on the floor.

I'm sure this isn't put of the realms pf normality but he's my first and I'm not sure what to do. At the moment I

• say a firm no when he intentionally chucks stuff on the floor (nursery has told me its time to set boundaries with him). My firm voice gets him more upset.
  

• give up trying to give food and let him have a whole bottle of milk, which he will eat.
  

He then eventually calms down and we get on with our day

It's not just breakfast- he does seem to be starting to have very extreme reactions to doing things he doesn't want to do/having things taken away from him. Generally he's so social and sunny, I find these episodes confusing and I don't know how to handle them. Best days, I comfort him and keep calm- worst days, I end up in tears and stressed, which I know isn't helping. I just worry I'm somehow generating this behaviour and I don't know what to do!

[Judyandherdreamofhorses]

It's really completely normal, and anyone at nursery who suggests it isn't needs retraining.

They have tantrums over everything, especially over having things taken away. It can be good to 'swap' the thing you need to take away for something else. Or just whisking away and go straight into a distraction - song, dance, look at exciting thing out of the window etc.

He's a baby. He needs to learn about the world. 'Intentionally chucking things on the floor' is essential, not naughty. I'm cross with your nursery!

[HPsauceonbaconbuttiesmmm]

Distract, distract, distract. And when that fails, ignore, ignore, ignore!

All sounds v normal to me. 11mo do throw food on the floor. Personally I used to go with the 5 second rule and chuck it back on the high chair. Finger food best at this age so he can eat independently, such as dry Cheerios. Wouldn't make a big deal out of food on the floor. Put food in front of him, he eats it or not. You choose the food, he chooses what to do with it. If you provide zero response he'll soon learn. Give up the firm voice if it upsets him. Try to eat with him and he'll copy you.

As to the independent behaviour and challenging, that's normal. Distract when you see it coming - taking away dangerous item, replace with toy etc, or oh look a big bus..... If full blown tantrum ensues ignore when possible, in the house pretend to be calmly reading a book etc, if out and can't ignore then scoop up and put in buggy/car. Do not, under any circumstances give in or use a treat to stop it (trust me it'll make life much harder in the long run!).

This is all normal. Your son is finding his own opinion and it will lead to conflict. You're doing fine!

[HPsauceonbaconbuttiesmmm]

And yes, agree with judy, nursery are idiots to suggest boundaries need to be set for an 11mo!!

[YoniBottsBumgina]

Boundaries for an 11 month old are things like "ouch, hot" when they go to touch the oven, and maybe "gentle hands" when they grab peoples' faces because they don't understand how to touch gently. Tantrums are just them getting really frustrated/sad and not being able to express it in any other way or tell you what's bothering them.

It sounds like he wants milk first thing and maybe breakfast a little later. I can't blame him - I don't like eating when I've just woken up either. I would try a bottle when he wakes up, all snuggly, let him play for an hour or so and then try breakfast.

[GetYourSocksOff]

Hi, I just wanted to reassure you that DD (also 11 months) is very similar. She is an absolute delight overall, but makes it VERY clear now when she's not impressed about something!

You could remove DS from an object or situation without him batting an eyelid at the same age, so the screaming and head tossing was a bit of a surprise!

I agree with Yoni that milk first and a later breakfast is the way to tackle it.