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Judge me- am I a bad mother???

(20 Posts)
mummy2lola Sat 04-May-13 10:03:48

Hello there,
I don't know if I'm posting for reassurance, or for cold hard truth (ready for your opinions )

I am a worrier, so I probably am over worrying, but there are a few things I worry about that I think might make me a bad mother, and that confuse me. I'm a first time mother of Dd 6 months.

* if dd is content playing with something and engrossed in her toys, sometimes I go and get on with something, such as making beds etc.

Is this ok? My mother says if a baby is content playing, then give them their own space and time alone, which is important. I not saying she always plays on her own whatsoever, but there are a lot of mothers on here that say they sit by their baby's side all day long, and take them everywhere with them.

Somebody on here said, ''never sneak away from a clingy baby' and I do tend to do things around the house if she isn't crying, instead of waiting by her and creating a clingy baby.

If she has a temper, and nothing I can do to sto her crying, I out her in her cot wher she is safe, until she calms down, checking her every 5 mins, and going to her and picking her up when she calms.

These are my main concerns. Apart from that, we go for a daily walk, I play with her, tickle, she's always happy, laughing smiling etc.

Go on then, judge me!!,

MagicBaguette Sat 04-May-13 10:17:10

What do you think is the problem?

Or are you just boasting about your excellent parenting skills and how easy being a mother is?

HotCrossPun Sat 04-May-13 10:20:46

Judge you for what?

Pancakeflipper Sat 04-May-13 10:20:49

All babies are different. One method doesn't fit all. Do what you think is best for your child and you. You won't get everything right - it's trial and error. And don't judge others.

MagicBaguette Sat 04-May-13 10:22:42


usualsuspect Sat 04-May-13 10:28:19

What exactly do you want judging for?

mummy2lola Sat 04-May-13 10:31:44

Am I wrong for leaving her side??? I'd never boast...I've got the lowest self esteem ever!

BumpingFuglies Sat 04-May-13 10:34:30

Sounds perfectly normal to me.

MortifiedAdams Sat 04-May-13 10:34:44

Magic - harsh. A lot of what the OP is describing is down to the babys personality (able to entertai herself and happy to be left) rather than skill. Your post nakes you sound bitter tbh.

OP, dont worry - you dont have to watch them like a hawk, and you are lucky to have such a contended LO. Dont feel bad as long as she is safe (ie cant roll/crawl to something that can do her harm).

usualsuspect Sat 04-May-13 10:36:52

All sounds perfectly normal parenting to me.

Don't worry about what everyone else does.

Forgetfulmog Sat 04-May-13 10:40:33

OP that's what I do - my dd is 7 mo. no need to worry. Anyway it's good to let babies play by themselves for a little bit - it promotes their independence. As long as she's in a safe environment, you have nothing to worry about smile

YoniBottsBumgina Sat 04-May-13 11:02:33

That sounds fine - it's good that she feels so secure that she's happy to play while you do other things.

HarlotOTara Sat 04-May-13 11:06:44

Absolutely fine I did this with both of mine, the eldest is now an adult with no sign of psychological damage - yetgrin

LibertineLover Sat 04-May-13 11:10:47

yes, leaving your baby's side for 10 minutes is fine hmm

dashoflime Sat 04-May-13 11:16:58

yes all fine smile

About leaving her to cry sometimes: If you've genuinely tried everything and it hasn't worked then she may have been crying because she was overstimulated! In which case leaving her alone may be just what she needs

mummy2lola Sat 04-May-13 11:24:58

Thanks mortified. I not here to boast, and I definitely wouldnt say I'm a skilled mother. I just do what works, but when people say you shouldn't leave them and should sit by them all day, I get confused.

mummy2lola Sat 04-May-13 11:26:20

Tanks everyone. I'm always floating about in the background if she needs me, but I don't want to be in her face all the time, when she's so into her toys, and doesn't appear to need my attention. I always there keeping an eye out, whilst doing other things, and when she needs me,Mom corse- I am always there for her. Thanks for the reassurance :-)

mummy2lola Sat 04-May-13 11:27:36

Dshofoime. She does get very overstimulated, despite my huge efforts to make sure she gets good naps etc. it's that endnofnthe day when I'm winding her down with baths and calm, and then she gets overexcited when her dad gets home, then turns into grump, then rage. She soon calms down, but needs her own space to calm down etc.

GingerJulep Sat 04-May-13 11:35:54

Sounds mostly fine (except for the leaving to cry bit - their cries are designed to be heart-wrenching so that we go to them, look after whatever need they have and they survive until adulthood! Could be something you can only do limited things about such as starting teething but most things you can fix) as long baby is playing in a safe place and can't reach/crawl/roll to anything dangerous.

MagicBaguette Sat 04-May-13 12:53:10

Mortified, I'm not bitter.

Just seems like a strange thread. I know it's coming from a different thread - but OP no one was judging you on that thread, so not sure of the need to start this one.

Ah well.

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