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Top Tips to Advising My Children...

(1 Post)
MummaBubba123 Sat 04-May-13 09:19:02

... when I've absolutely no clue how to deal with interpersonal crap myself.
I'm assertive- with my family and v close friends.
But put me in the playground (with other parents) and I'm a pathetic 9 year old who NEEDS parenting.
I am not into gossip and dread (ever so slight paranoia) being gossiped about.
I'm friendly to everyone but don't force myself into 'closed circles' or cliquey mums - who feign a smile before turning their backs again to compare handbags and personal trainers). It could be that they all share these feelings and force themselves into the group. I JUST CAN'T BE ARSED to be fake! And I hate being a clone.
Then I feel slightly rejected.
I'm 41.
41!!!!! At 41, I'm pretty happy with myself and know I am really not missing out on anything by not being accepted in these gangs. It's not the first time. I've always had really lovely friends who are actually nice people and individuals, rather than sheep.
I just wish that I could get rid of the 'awkward teenager inside me' who yearns to be accepted for fear of why I'm NOT.
Apart from this, I struggle with asserting myself to other mums for fear of being gossiped about in their group. This week, my mouth opened and I heard myself telling a mum not to tell her friend XXX about my son or my family, since I saw this info posted on Facebook before a decision had been made (that he was changing school). Could've died. Felt shakey inside. It was like someone took over (months too late for it to be appropriate now) and stood up for me without my volition.

Anyway, the point if this post - sorry its so long - is to ask how the hell I'm going to advise my own children to assert themselves and deal with playground peer stuff.
Doing okay with my son (5) but when my daughter grows up... I'll really feel for her and be clueless.

I'd love general tips - e.g. 'Don't get involved/ talk to the parent'; tell my son to hit back if teachers haven't responded to his/ my requests to stop someone hitting him, etc.
It'd kill me to hear my daughter (now 2 - lol) telling me that someone won't be her friend. So inevitable- yet so close to home.

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