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How to divide yourself in 3? Help please!(7 Posts)
My dd3 is now 5 months old & up until now my 2 other dd's (3 & 6) have coped brilliantly. Now they constantly battle for my attention and it's really starting to stress me out. I obviously see dd2 all day as she's not at school yet but as soon as dd1 comes home from school they just both climb all over me for my attention and fight one another. The problem is particularly worse in fromt of other adults & it's quite clearly attention seeking.
This evening an adult friend was round and told me I was too soft on them as I didn't shout at them etc. I just don't know what to do for the best and am dreading things when dd can walk & talk!
I only have one dd to cope with so i can't really offer any advice other than I don't think shouting is the answer. What about your dh or family can they not take over looking after the 5mth old around tea time and allow you some time to concentrate on the other 2 (sorry can't be of more help)
friend of mine is having similar problem at the mo - it's not easy is it!
Could you perhaps have a dedicated time for dd1? If dh comes home before they are in bed, could he have the other two, while you and dd1 go off for a cuddle or a book read?
i staggered bedtimes - so that my eldest got an hour with me extra. i also got him to help me - a lot. fethcm me this carry me that. he was a super star. fetching nappies and keeping one baby entertained whilst i did the other.
i also had a friday night as a special stay up late with mum night. dh went out and we stayed in had pizza n stuff. whilst "them babies" were in bed.
i was always with the "oh what would i do without you?" and " oh i couldnt manage without your help" etc
i think your 6 year old should et 1-2-1 attention with homework for instance. then the others know - this is a great way to get mums attention - DO HOMEWORK! just 10 mins is all it takes.
hope that helps
If you can manage without shouting why on earth would anyone suggest you start - well done you! TBH I find being alone with my three when they all start wanting things at the same time seriously stressful and they are 12, 7 and 3. I My way of giving everyone a little bit of one to one during the week is to stagger bedtimes (of course with your littlest being only 5 months this may not work for you at the moment). DD goes to bed at 7 (she's at home with me three days a week so doesn't lack attention); 7-7.30 I try and snuggle up with DS2 and read to him, and when he is in bed I might sit and watch TV with DS1 for a bit, or if he is upstairs in his room I will hang around there for a little while just having a chat. I think with three it's very easy (and sometimes necessary) to treat them as "the kids", and only your eldest is of an age to really reason with, but if she knows she will get some special time later she might be less attention seeking after school. Good luck
Thanks every-one for your replies, it's so tough being a parent isn't it & they just don't come with a guide book!
I do try & give my oldest dd special evening time once the other 2 are in bed but by then I'm so knackered myself unfortunately it's just not quality time.
Sunnydelight I really appreciate your comment about not shouting, I don't think it works either!
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