DD 8 - is this the beginning of puberty?

[harryhausen]

My DD in the past 4 months has been very changeable with her mood. This morning she complained of tummy pains and wanted a day off. I said no (she normally angles for a day off when she's feeling a bit tired). She's in a hard sulk. Not talking to me. My CM who has her after school sometimes (and has had her since she was a baby) says the same with her sometimes.

So she stroppy, moody. I've noticed her nipples starting to look a bit 'plumper' too. She's quite tall for her age with a real 'curve' to her figure already.

I started my periods when I was 10 and developed early, but surely this is too early?? I haven't even had the chat with her yet about periods and sex etc. I have a few books but was leaving it as she's never asked (although she mega curious about everything else)

I feel a bit sad if it is. I feel like I've had a toddler then a teenager and missed out the nice bit in the middle.

Obviously I'll talk to her myself, but dies anyone have any book recommendations?

Thanks x

[Poledra]

I've been using this one with 9-yo DD1 - it seems to be quite well aimed at the 8-10 age group. I thought she was starting puberty earlier this year (same as you with the changes to her nipples) but it's all gone again! Apparently, this is quite normal too - hormone surges can come and go for a while before puberty becomes properly established. I'm hoping it'll be a while before it really happens.

[OneFingerSjupesUpTheYoni]

I could have wrote your post myself! Dd was 8 in march, nipples have changed, wee hips/curves have developed and the attitude can leave me

Most of my family started periods at 12, my mum says when i was 8/9 i was like dd - she called it the trainibg years for real puberty

No advice sorry just wanted to get my tupence worth in, hopefully trainer years aren't too bad for our dds :)

[wheredidiputit]

I spoke to dd1 (9) teacher about this because we had a lot of strops and 'I WANT TO BE ALONE' from her.

Our school use the book 'hair in funny places' to talk about body changes in yr 4. I have the book so I think I read the book with her.

[harryhausen]

Thanks everyone. It's a relief to hear from others to be honest. I mentioned it to another school mum friend who has a dd in my dd's class the other day and she looked at me like I was mad!

I hoping its a just surge of hormones too and not the real deal. She's normally so funny and kind. Hopefully it'll pass again for a while until the full on stroppyness hits me.

Thanks for the book recs. I'll go an have a look now x

[harryhausen]

Can I just add. I only joined mumsnet 6 months ago. I don't know how on earth I managed with parenting until then! X

[ZZZenagain]

yes, I think it will be puberty. They are starting very early these days I find.

[VenusRising]

There's a lovely book we have for our dd(8) called "the care and keeping of you" not so much on relationships and sex, just on body changes, and how to look after yourself: from brushing your teeth, to having daily showers for BO, to shaving your legs, and lots of interesting pictures of healthy food, and sporty images.
It's on amazon [http://www.amazon.com/Care-Keeping-American-Girl-Library/dp/1562476661?tag=mumsnet&ascsubtag=mnforum-21 here]

About the moods, don't ignore them, but ask your dd about them, where she feels things in her body. The colour of the feelings, the names of the emotions, etc. get her a diary and some paints and canvasses. And get her a camera. Paint with her!

We found these to be very helpful as our dd went through a hormone spurt (adrenal not gonadal) at about six and was very stroppy, slamming doors etc, so we all had a chat about what she could do when she felt red hot frustrated, and what we all do when we feel angry or unhappy, and how we all live together, and how unpleasant it is to have doors slamming etc.

She has a diary and has a ready supply of paints and canvasses and paints some fab pictures: wild abstracts, and quite sedate landscapes!

[ZZZenagain]

I got dd that book too and I like it. It doesn't go into too much detail but enough and it s appropriate even for an 8 year old.

[VenusRising]

Linky fail! [[http://www.amazon.com/Care-Keeping-American-Girl-Library/dp/1562476661?tag=mumsnet&ascsubtag=mnforum-21 the care and keeping of you]

[VenusRising]

Blast!
Hold on.... here it is, fingers crossed

[VenusRising]

Yes, that's what I like zen, because I don't want to talk with her about sex and relationships other than her friendships.

I don't think that letting her know about sex is appropriate at this time.
She has no interest in kissing in films etc, and is only now noticing that some of her classmates like the trainwreck singer Justin beiber.
She knows about babies, and how eggs come together to make a baby, but apart from that I don't think she needs to know about boys bodies as yet.

All in good time, but this is a gentle little book with a good deal of self esteem building in it.

I also like the other books published by the American girl house: we got the one about what to say, and it's been well received also.

[ZZZenagain]

we got a few of those American Girl books too, after this one. Dd just read them on her own and I think she found them interesting and helpful. There was one on moods/feelings IIRC which she said she found good.

[harryhausen]

Thanks again everyone. I've ordered both of those books mentioned. Fingers crossed they help her x