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HV rang today and suggested I needed counselling!!!

(10 Posts)
PanicPants Tue 16-May-06 20:07:40

This all stems from her 1 and only visit when ds was 2 weeks, when I was in tears - weren't we all then? And when her colleague came to do ds's 6-9 month check it was the day after I'd fallen with ds in my arms and he landed on his head in the road, so we spent the night in hospital. I was still upset, tired and shakey so wasn't at my best then.

This was 6 weeks ago now, and hv just rang me and asked how I am (6 weeks later?)and I said fine. I am on ad, but feeling on top of things and generally ok. In fact thinking of coming off them again. But hv just went on and on about counselling and that I should consider it. As 'we need to find out why you feel like this'. And then she asked why did I think I was depressed.


Am i right to be peed off?

Maddison Tue 16-May-06 20:47:35

OMG PP, I think I'd be p*ssed off too!

I know I had a major bout of the baby blues when DS2 was 2 weeks old too, and in my mind with the fall you had with DS the day before the second visit, its understandable that you were shaken.

These things should have been taken into account by the HV's and from your post it seems they weren't.

I had PND after I had DS1 and was on AD's and nobody suggested that I needed counselling. As long as you feel okay on them the HV should accept that and should be there to support you.

Sorry for waffling on, just didn't want your post to go unanswered xx

RedZuleika Tue 16-May-06 20:53:26

Not to mention the fact that counselling and asking about the cause of your depression (real, ongoing or not) is beyond the HV's remit, I'd have thought. Referring you is one thing, but I don't think she should start probing herself.

nicnack2 Tue 16-May-06 20:55:21

sometimes professional cant think out the box. many are covering their own backs for fear of anything happening. she should have visited you in person before 6 weeks. i would have been p off 2 if you feel that you are ready to come of ad i would speak to gp about reducing them first rather than just stopping.

PanicPants Tue 16-May-06 20:56:50

Thanks for the replies girls.

I was feeling really well and upbeat before she rang and it's kind of made it all come back.

Oh well, I'll just forget about it and move on.

Uwila Wed 17-May-06 15:36:12

I find it interesting that she said "We" need to find out... We? I have little patient for HVs who think they are doctors. I think if YOU feel like coming off the ADs then that is probably a strong indication that you ready to come off of them (or reduce them anyway).

Just tell her to bugger off and then ignore her.

Uwila Wed 17-May-06 15:37:31

patient? Pardon the unintentional pun. patience

Enid Wed 17-May-06 15:38:31

counselling might be worth it though if you have been depressed enough for ads

hvs get on my wick too though, i cried in front of mine yesterday and she is now insisting on coming to see me every week to check that I am 'alright'

madmarchhare Wed 17-May-06 15:43:45

Tbh, I dont think she is being unreasonable. Im not saying that you need counselling, I dont know you, but assuming she isnt being rude, I think its better than your HV not giving a toss. I would just be polite, say 'Im fine thank you' and discuss your ADs with your GP.

Kathy1972 Wed 17-May-06 15:46:30

I understand why you feel upset PP - when you've been depressed and you know you're making progress and coming out of it, for someone to start questioning whether you're ok can be so destructive. Don't let her make you doubt yourself - she doesn't sound like she knows her a* from her elbow....

Sounds like she acted way beyond her remit too - I'd have thought their job should be to tell you how to access help of any kind should you want it, not to try to persuade you to have it! (Personally I'd never turn down good counselling if it's free, though - counselling can be such a brilliant tool in helping you deal with whatever life throws at you, I think people should have it even when they're not depressed! )

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