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Parenting

Is this a reasonable punishment?

19 replies

mykidsmum · 16/05/2006 18:42

I have four children, twins aged 6, a nearly 5 year old and a nearly 3 year old. Recently at bedtime my dts (girls) have really been messing about, going to bed okay but playing etc when they are supposed to be asleep. they do things like draw me pictures and cards and get their paper and pens out and whilst the sentiment is lovely the messing about is driving me nuts. Last night it went on until around 9 ish and this has been quite common of late. As they are 6 I think they are old enough to understand that bedtime is for sleep, not playing and that it is important they get their sleep. They are also disrupting my two younger boys who are generally very good.

Anyway as they came home from school and were all very demanding, bickering and obviously tired i have put them to bed at 6.30 and explained to them that I am not prepared to put up with this constant messing about and that this is a punishment. I feel dreadful about it but tbh I have had just about as much as I can take. Anyway do you think this is reasonable??

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mykidsmum · 16/05/2006 18:48

I know, i am being pathetic but I seriously feel guilty puishing my kids, reckon I need to get a grip, can hear other kids out playing and feel such a meanie

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hana · 16/05/2006 18:49

absolutely
enjoy the rest of your evening!

mykidsmum · 16/05/2006 18:51

thankyou, am staying upstairs for the time being to amke sure they do actually go to sleep, I hate tired and ratty kids

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Bozza · 16/05/2006 18:55

Yes perfectly reasonable IMO. DS is 5 and I would not be impressed if he did that sort of thing.

mykidsmum · 16/05/2006 19:13

They used to be really good, but it is getting out of hand.

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MerlinsBeard · 16/05/2006 19:37

i think u need to take the crayons etc out of there tbh. if i put my bots in bed at 6:30 to stop them messing about they would still do it. remove the temptation to do do those things (drawing is what u meantioned in ur thread)

KristinaM · 16/05/2006 19:46

I have a 6 yo girl who does exactly the same!!! yes it drives me crazy too. When I send her back to bed she sobs " i only wanted a kiss" or " I did a poem to say that I love you"

Bozza · 16/05/2006 19:47

mom that is a good plan. Every time they mess with something when they are supposed to be in bed confiscate it. I personally only have drawing materials in the kitchen anyway.

SSSandy · 16/05/2006 19:53

I wouldn't use sending them to bed as a punishment.

What you want them to do is stay in bed and settle down, so the punishment for getting up and drawing has to be related to what they actually did wrong. The aim is to make going to bed (and staying there) something pleasant and stress-free, so it shouldn't ever be used as a form of punishment IMO, that could really backfire.

jac34 · 16/05/2006 19:57

No,you are right to put your foot down!!!
I've had this in the past with my DTs(boys).I's all delaying tactics,they'll try any trick in the book.
We went through a phase were they would,strip the bed,under sheet off,duvet out of cover,pillow out of pillow case,etc.One night I ended up making up their beds about 3 times each.
I think it comes with having twins,especially same sex ones,it's like having their best mate round for a sleepover every night.
You are right to stand firm,I know from experience,give them an inch and they'll run rings round you.
I know how you feel though,we've had to punish our boys quite a bit recently,and I feel really mean.

WestCountryLass · 16/05/2006 21:06

I think youa re being reasonable but I would also confiscate the pens etc.

mykidsmum · 16/05/2006 21:46

Thanks people for your responses, I kniw what you mean sssandy about using bed as a punishment which is why I have been reluctant to do it in the past but jeeeez am I at the end of my tether. I have confiscated in the past, before it was ponies and hair bobbles, now i think i should use the pens.
jac34 its nice to hear a mum of twins has the same problem!!! Like you say they are the bestest of friends and almost see bedtime as a time to play uninterupted by their younger disruptive brothers. I can almost deal with the staying up late but the grumping that comes the next day is unreal and disruptive for the whole family. Once again cheers evryone for your responses.

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threebob · 16/05/2006 21:52

They are tired and need to go to bed, so you sent them to catch up on some sleep, which they missed through messing around on other nights.

Punishment fits the crime perfectly.

mykidsmum · 16/05/2006 21:53

my logic exactly threebob and i explained it to them and everything !!

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FairyMum · 16/05/2006 21:55

I don't think you are mean, i am just impressed your children actually go to bed and stay there when told. I could learn from you

mykidsmum · 16/05/2006 21:57

They are dead good at staying in bed, always have done, i think having twins has made me quite strict re routines from an early age, but this pissing about is getting me down. has worked tonight though so hopefully I'm doing something right!!!!

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mykidsmum · 16/05/2006 21:58

Thaqt said they do occasionaly come down half hour after they went to bed and tell me they have had a bad dream when they haven't even been to sleep, that really pisses me off!!

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AUBINA · 17/05/2006 15:05

My two daughters, 8 and 6 go to bed absolutely fine. We go downstairs, then 10 minutes later there is a plaintive call from upstairs. This will be along the lines of headache/stomachache/itchy/broken nail etc. I ask them why they haven't mentioned this before they went to bed to which they have no explanation.

The problem is they don't want to go to bed in case they miss something, however we are dying to have some time to ourselves!

I do feel sad that a happy bedtime, bath,story, cuddles etc is spoilt by this behaviour. Sometimes I get cross with them and then I feel a bad mother, I don't want their day to end like this. However the bottom line is they are trying it on and unless we are firm they'll push us even more.

Now they are older I am honest with them and tell them it is just unacceptable. I think your punishment definitely fits the crime, mine would be horrified to be sent to bed early, it is the ultimate deterrant!

sandyballs · 17/05/2006 15:21

jac 34 - I love that "it's like having their best mate for a sleepover every night". My twin DDs chat away late some nights and that has helped me .

Mykidsmum - not a bad punishment - they need to learn and you really have your hands full with 4 that age.

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