Lost my temper big time with ds (6) this morning. :-((6 Posts)
I am on my own with ds (age 6), family help where they can but they're not local. Sometimes it all gets to be a bit of a grind doing everything, every day with no adult back up, chance of a lie in, bit of support on the parenting approach etc etc.
ds has become very resentful about being asked to help with anything. This morning he got stroppy about being asked to turn his bedroom light off before we went downstairs to leave for school. I was carrying a big basket of washing. I got a little bit cross but explained that we both have to help and my hands were full, so he needed to just get on and do it.
3 mins later we are leaving the house. I once again have my hands full, with his bag and sports stuff and my things. I had got it all because he was at the front door ahead of me. Asked him to open the door. Cue strop about why I couldn't do it blah blah whinge whine. At which point I lost it.
I really shouted. Had a rant about how I do everything, how he has a warm home, and clean clothes, and food to eat, and toys to play with and activities to go to and technology to enjoy and all I am asking for is a bit of help. I don't expect him to do "chores" but I do expect little bits of help... you get the gist. What a horrible way for him to start the day. He's going to a friend for tea straight after school so I can't even do anything to make it better until the evening.
tbh while I know I shouldn't have shouted and ranted, I don't know how else to get it through to him that he has to pull his weight just a teeny tiny bit, without being stroppy and resentful in the process. In all other matters he is a lovely boy, cuddly, kind and tries hard at school. But it all got a bit too much for me this morning, and I'm actually not prepared to let him get away with this attitude - but I need a better way of getting through to him... most of all I feel shit about how I went on at him.
You love your child and he knows it. He's fine.
At worst, you got his attention.
Ah we've all lost it and yelled unreasonably at our dc's - if you're reading this and you haven't ever, I take my hat off to you. Provided you're not constantly yelling at him, I'm sure this occasion won't do him any harm. It might have subdued him a little, and he might think twice about being so reluctant to help in the future, which is no bad thing. When he comes home tonight, I would say to him sorry darling that Mummy got upset and shouted, you're not really cross at him and you love him very much, but as he is a big boy now at the age of 6 sometimes he needs to help a little more, especially if you ask him to. Have a cuddle and I'm sure you'll feel better. Tbh even if he went into school subdued it probably didn't take him long to get distracted and run off to play with his friends. You're doing a great and difficult job - chin up!
Please don't feel guilty
He almost deserved tbh
I try to ensure my dc know I'm getting cross b4 I "loose it"
I do think maybe your ds needs to help out more
You are all very kind. He was fine this evening, we had a chat and I said I was sorry for shouting. He has been very helpful since he got home!
Really he should have turned the light off. I am surprised I haven't shouted at my ds2 today, who is 6. We all shout occasionally. Don't feel bad about it you are human. I got so sick of my ds (7 and 5,) at the time moaning about the little I asked them to do and how unfair life was I showed them kids in Dakkha living under steps sorting paper. It was one of those The Worst Place to be a... Put it down to one of those things and maybe give yourself the evening off to relax once in a while.
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