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Can this dad do anything?

(3 Posts)
ratbagcatbag Tue 23-Apr-13 03:37:27

A friend of mine has asked me to post on his behalf, I'm a regular on here so hope you won't mind.

Background is this so he split with his wife 11 years ago, it was always made difficult to see the children (two dds) however after mny solicitors letters nd court he got access, his ex is awful, so threatening to ruin his wedding day, giving permission for trip to Disney then saying she was going to hold passports at the last minute so thy couldn't go (she didn't thankfully)

Anyway, current situation is that dds are now 16 and 13, at 15 the eldest moved in her 22 yo old married with two kids and one on the way bf, mum said ok as he she liked him, thy all told the dad that he was sleeping on the sofa.
Now dd2 at 13 is going off the rails, she's seeing a 16 yo, and he stayed over on Friday night with a mate, apparently on the already occupied sofa, whilst dd2 and friend slept on the floor, dad found out about this as dd2 walked out of school today and went to visit a family member, dad picked her up nd returned her to school as her mum was shopping and too busy. She walked out of school as the boyfriends met someone else.
Dad asked his ex what she was playing at letting two 16 yo stay over, she replied, dd2 says she asked me, but to be honest I'd had a drink ad can't remember her asking, I got up next morning wondering who the two guys were. Dad is furious tht ex is getting in a state that she cant remember ht was asked and that she has zero control with dds. He tries but they all collude and lie for each other, mum doesn't believe in grounding or taking her phone off her nd in fact dd2 screams at her mum until she does whatever she wants.

Can dad legally do anything, dd2 isn't going to want to live with him as there will be rules and consequences to which she has none at home. He feels so helpless but wonders whether social services or anyone else might be able to help. He feels dd2 is a minor but at that age where her opinion will carry serious weight.

Any suggestions, advice or anyone been through similar, all info would be appreciated.

mummy2benji Tue 23-Apr-13 09:29:41

Social services would probably be able to give advice. It is a very difficult situation and I really feel for your friend, but 13yo is under the legal age to have sex, and if her mum is allowing 16yo boys to sleep over and she herself is too out of it to know what is going on, this situation could be against the law and is very serious. Sorry I can't be more help.

ratbagcatbag Tue 23-Apr-13 10:44:11

The thing is dd will say mum is fine and they will all lie, how dies he prove she was out of it, it's so difficult sad I think your suggestion of social services is going to be the only option available.

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