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Am I a shit parent?

(13 Posts)
redandyellowbits Fri 19-Apr-13 19:04:06

My DDs are aged 5, 3 and 8 mo.

I made dinner today for the older two, and sat them down to eat (fajitas, a favourite of theirs). All fine.

Baby then needed a breastfeed so I asked my 5yo and 3yo to continue eating, as the baby needed a breastfeed.

As I went in the living room to feed baby, DDs came in and asked for pudding. I asked if they had both finished their dinners and they said yes. I said I would come in and give them pudding in a bit.

When I went back in the kitchen I discovered they had both thrown their dinners in the bin and then lied to me about it so they could have pudding sad

What am I doing wrong with them? I have explained to them how bad it is to waste food etc and they seem unconcerned sad

I can understand this from the 3yo (nearly 4), but not from the nearly 6yo. She is bright and articulate, and really should know better.

How would you treat this situation? I have banned treats for next week, but really am wondered how I am going so wrong with them.

yellowhousewithareddoor Fri 19-Apr-13 19:08:41

I think you might be expecting a bit much from your children, especially the 3 year old. Can you not feed in the room with them?

They were being quite inventive and clearing up after themselves (I mean - that's how they might see it, not that that's 'right'. I wouldn't punish them for a week as it will be meaningless after a day or two - just remind yourself to eat with them or watch them if you can, and remind them to leave food on their plate not throw it away if you have to leave them.

I don't think you're 'going wrong', just perhaps are expecting too much.

IDismyname Fri 19-Apr-13 19:09:08

Redandyellow - don't panic! They're pushing boundaries, and just seeing what happens when they do. I suspect with a baby in the house, they're getting less attention from you atm. Your 6 yr old is pretty bright - but not bright enough to cover her tracks in the bin.

You are not a shit parent at all. You've responded in just the right way - stick to your guns about banned treats.

Get them all to bed, and treat yourself to a wine. You deserve it - and its Friday, too...

redandyellowbits Fri 19-Apr-13 21:16:11

Thank you. DH thought it was quite funny, and he is usually quite strict on discipline, so I may be over-worrying it.

yellow I do normally feed in the kitchen but have a dodgy back today and wanted to feed more comfortably on the sofa. I won't be doing that again!

They are great kids in many ways, but sometimes the after-school discipline can go a bit crazy - they come home from school and nursery very tired and stroppy and I find it quite stressful managing the three of them when they are like this.

They are in bed now, I am going to keep up the ban on treats for a few days next week just to remind them that wasting food is bad, but I won't be too harsh on them about it.

But I'm feeling better about it now, I am going to think of them as inventive rather than naughty!


abbyfromoz Fri 19-Apr-13 21:20:23

Yikes! You are not a bad parent... I remember getting caught throwing my school lunch away... My mum calmly took it out of the bin, wrapped in cling film and gave to me for lunch the next day. I was a lot older though (i think 12?) and probably wouldn't condone it. I think 3 and 5 are still very little and will be pushing boundaries... The food waste is an issue, but the lying to you in a big no no!

morethanpotatoprints Fri 19-Apr-13 21:26:28


The little monkeys, very inventive for little ones.

If you have taught them about not wasting food you are anything but a bad mum.

I wouldn't trust them again though. grin

JoyceDivision Fri 19-Apr-13 21:30:48

haha, that's genius! I think that your line of thinking that DD is 6 and should know better... your DD is six and is very clever to plot this!

It soulnds like somthing my dc would get up to if left alone, and the relationship would be dc1(^) leading dc2 (4) astray...

It's a different version of chucking dinner under the table to get the dog to eat it..

mrspaddy Fri 19-Apr-13 21:33:06

Ah I think they were chancing their arm. Testing the boundaries which is a normal part of development. I think you have a couple of bright sparks there. I would discipline them but don't be too hard on them or yourself. I don't think you are doing anything wrong. Have a good weekend.

Startail Fri 19-Apr-13 21:39:05

My 12 yo is a master of slipping out to the garage getting an ice cream and leaving her dinner.

You either have to be a total dragon as my mum would have been because she just couldn't afford the waste or accept a bit of mischief.

My mum's lovely, but she controlled the buying and consuming of food with an iron rod. DDad wouldn't have dreamed of attacking anything except the biscuit tin and that wasn't refilled until the allotted day.

Ledkr Fri 19-Apr-13 21:59:10

My dd used to put his out if the cat flap. Genius I thought.

redandyellowbits Fri 19-Apr-13 22:28:07

I tried a bit of a guilt trip on the youngest, it didn't work:

Me: Do you remember you had some ice-cream after nursery because you have been such a good girl?

DD: Yes

Me: And then I came home and cooked you some fajitas. And you threw them in the bin.

DD: Yes.

Me: How do you think that made me feel?

DD: Sad

Me: And how does that make you feel?

DD: Happy. Because I like ice-cream.

I had to try hard not to laugh at that point!

IDismyname Sat 20-Apr-13 09:57:37

You can't fault the logic! grin

imour Sun 21-Apr-13 00:45:27

they probably egged each other on ,ice cream is nicer than fajitas to be fair smile , dont be too hard on them or your self .

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