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My LO refuses to nurse :( what should I do

(19 Posts)
moonprayer Wed 17-Apr-13 16:52:11

He is now 16 weeks old and i am only doing bf. He started to refuse to nurse during the daytime from last week, every time just feed for less than 10min on one side. When I try to continue, he starts to screaming. Don't know what to do. I've tried feeding him in a quiet place, well, basically just feed him in the bedroom in silence, but it still doesn't work. What should I do? Will this breastmilk-refusal thing pass at some point?
Could it be teething? As he sometimes suddenly screams and wakes up from his naps during the day. sad

ZuleikaD Wed 17-Apr-13 17:39:11

Taking an entire feed in 10 minutes is fine - quite normal. He may just not need to feed any longer than that.

Gurke Wed 17-Apr-13 18:19:20

Agree with Zuleika, he probably just got very efficient at feeding and is getting all he needs, and is frustrated by being offered more. I would just let him have as much as he wants and not offer more once he stops - see whether that helps!

SomethingAboutNothing Wed 17-Apr-13 18:47:04

How often are you offering him a feed? My DS went though a phase of doing the same thing, until I realised I was just trying to feed him too often so he was having lots of small snack feeds rather than fewer full feeds.

With my DS I ended up giving him a dummy as he wanted to suck but didn't want the milk. I'm not saying that's what you should do (I know many parents don't like them, and they do come with other issues), but it may be something to try?

Debs3013 Wed 17-Apr-13 19:00:06

Not quite the same as my DS is bottle fed but he was the same around 16 weeks. He started really reducing how much he was taking - sometimes I was lucky to get 2 ounces in him. It drove me mad with worry, even though he was putting on weight and sticking with his line it really, really bothered me - I was positive there must be some major issue.
Anyway, after about a month he just started taking more and more - he's still not a big eater but he's 7.5 months now, weaning and usually takes 6 ounces a bottle.
I also thought teething at the time - guess what? Still no teeth!
As long as your LO is putting on weight I'd try not to worry initially (I know, easier said than done!)

Runningblue Wed 17-Apr-13 21:29:11

Agree that 10 minutes can be a good efficient feed- to reassure yourself look at the wet nappies and poos. Your baby might just be getting cheesed off at being asked to continue when he's had enough!
My dd is adament when shes had enough, and gets very agitated if i force it.
Could you consider when he seems more keen to feed, and then see if there is a pattern forming? I found with my first baby he fed much better if i offered the breast less often - i'd been wapping it in his face at the first murmour, and often i realised he was unhappy for another reason. By this we got to 3 to 3.5 hourly feeds in the day, when previously i was literally offering him milk every hour or less...

moonprayer Thu 18-Apr-13 08:50:01

I hope that's the case. But he just feeds at one side for 5min then refuses to continue, then the other side for 2~3min and then completely loses his patience. I just don't understand...

moonprayer Thu 18-Apr-13 08:52:15

I'll try it and see whether he would get hungry before next feed, probably I should just leave him alone and gets hungrysmile

moonprayer Thu 18-Apr-13 09:00:15

I feed him five times a day, three over the daytime, one at 6pm, one at about midnight sometimes 2am. I called NCT helpline and asked for help. They even said five times a day is too little. Though I doubt...
I can try the dummy, he may not like it. I use the dummy sometimes when he screams. He likes to grab the dummy from his mouth and throw it awaysmile

moonprayer Thu 18-Apr-13 09:09:54

Yes I understand.... When he put me away I feel really frustrated and tired.. I thought about teething too. He is definitely more irritated than before and cries more, but he can still sleep 6~7hours from 7pm to 2am.... So I am not sure about it...

ZuleikaD Thu 18-Apr-13 09:30:20

Have you had him weighed recently? How are his nappies? I agree that five feeds in 24 hours is probably too little (unless he's really going for it each time).

MeeWhoo Thu 18-Apr-13 09:35:32

Does he also unlatch early during feeds or just refuse to have more milk after a while? If he unlatches and looks uncomfortable it could be that you have a fast let down/oversupply and he is finding it difficult to cope with that.

LIG1979 Thu 18-Apr-13 09:46:02

I had similar with dd around that time. I did try feeding in a dark quiet room,feeding less often and whilst they helped a bit but not alot I was still worried about the amount going in. However, she was still tracking her percentile and taking 5 feeds a day between 8am and 7pm and sleeping through the night. By 5 months she was starving again and we were up to 7 big feeds and two wake ups in the night. If his weight is ok and he seems happy and alert then I wouldn't worry. My dd always eats alot less than the other babies her age but is full of energy and tracking her percentile so I am happy.grin She does however have hungry phases which I think are growth spurts.

moonprayer Fri 19-Apr-13 14:14:38

To ZuleikaD: I weighed him this Three days ago and it seems his weight is tracking the line. So probably I should worry less..
But yesterday I got the worst day in the past three weeks... He refused to feed at his normal feeding time, and just took in half of one side, and then suddenly got hungry at his normal napping time sad same again today, I get totally confused what he wants and feel so sorry for him when I see his little crying face.... What a bad mum who never gets what her baby wants right! sad

moonprayer Fri 19-Apr-13 14:18:41

To MeeWhoo hmm probably that's one of the reasons. I do have fast let-down and although he seems to be able to cope with it most of the time, but he does get choked sometimes. I tried expressing some before I feed him this morning. It appears better, though I am not sure whether it's because he was quite sleepy when I fed him

moonprayer Fri 19-Apr-13 14:28:43

To LIG1979 I envy you so much... My LO still has one feed at midnight. Should I wean him off the night feed now? I was thinking about that earlier, but then I got this issue, along with his sleeping problems, so I put off my night-weaning plan. At night around 3/4am onwards, he is always woken up by his own farts or efforts to pushing farts or poop out, and ends up with crying. I've been on a quite strict diet, trying to reduce the gas in his tummy, but doesn't seem to work well... sometimes he even has a bm at 2am... If not, then even worse, the whole early morning from 3am onwards will be ruined by his noisy/crying efforts to try to have a bm and not sleeping sound... Don't know what to do

CinnabarRed Fri 19-Apr-13 14:33:34

DS3 was absolutely capable of taking an entire feed in 5 minutes, and right from day 1 would only take from one breast at each feed. As long as your DC's weight continues to track his centile then he's absolutely fine.

tempnameswap Fri 19-Apr-13 14:45:17

My dd was like this OP at a similar age and I also had a reasonably fast let down. She was happier to continue if I expressed a bit first so it was more manageable for her.

She was also much happier if we fed lying down and it got to the stage where she was only happy to do it like this - a complete pain as it meant I couldn't bf when out (although I did once lie on the floor in Starbucks in desperation! grin).

The bf counsellor I saw thought it was reflux and she was upset because feeding was causing pain. DD did take Gaviscon and ranitidine for a while. That seemed to make a bit of difference as did expressing and bottle feeding (also a complete nightmare tbh) but the main thing that changed was this phase just seemed to pass.

At the time, I found her anger/distress and then refusal really stressful but the counsellor reassured me that if we persevered she would regain her enjoyment of bfing. She even said that dd would probably be the sort of child who would never want to stop.....

At the time I thought that was nonsense - fast forward 3 years and I can't get her to stop hmm.

So good luck - try some different positions, consider the possibility of reflux and try not to get too stressed about it.

tempnameswap Fri 19-Apr-13 14:47:41

PS - I would get this thread moved OP to Breast and bottle feeding. You will probably get some advice from experienced bf counsellors on there....

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