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How to explain, really need some help

(1 Post)
keelyboo Wed 17-Apr-13 16:24:16

Ok this may be long and complicated so i apologise in advance.

I have three children dd 9 dd7 and ds2, ds is not the girls fathers biologically but due to circumstances has bought him up since day 1.

He has a new gf of 5 months, girls are struggling theyve spent maybe 6 days (not all full ones) with her basically they met one afternoon, then one more visit then 2 weeks after stayed overnight 2 weeks after (last weekend) stayed all weekend, she has 4 children its all a big change and understandably with a father who wont talk to them they are struggling.

I got them home sun and they were very unhappy dd7 even stating daddy doesnt care about us he cares more about...gfs children. I spent since then reassuring them that daddy loves them very much (he does hes such useless at showing it) and spoke to him today about it.

This apparently is me stopping them getting to know his gf, who i have no issues with im in a relationship very happy i just want our children to be happy. I explained what they had told me lots of things one of gfs dd was mean to them daddy doesnt love them didnt spend any time with them few other things, basically i get told they are lying. I told him even if they are they are doing it for a reason and hes got to realise they are struggling they spent months just him and them on weekends and with no warning are now thrust into a house they dont know people they dont know its (imo) been too fast and asked that he just gives them some time, as she has 4 children they are missing out on his time as he babysits her children as she works a lot.

He said the only solution to the problem is for ds to not go anymore, i think the gf may have been in his ear hes had ds every other weekend with our girls for over a year now with no problems. I feel hurt for ds i cant force him to continue to act as his parent but its all ds has ever known, i have no idea how to explain it to the girls as to why their brother is suddenly no longer welcome. Its not the first time but he apologised within the hour and until he met the gf alls been ok.

All i wanted was for him to slow it down spend some of the weekend with the kids me and my bf spend time apart on weekends so i can spend time with them because its still quite early (4 months) and i want them to build up trust and a relationship not have it forced upon them, instead i get the heartache of my son losing the only father figure he has ever known.

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