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Aggression, snitching, what to do?

(4 Posts)
Emperorsnewclothesshow Sun 14-Apr-13 09:04:38

My DS (3) loves play fighting and so often assaults DD (5). Even though she is bigger she doesn't fight back but constantly comes to me to complain and wants me to step in. This happens about 10 times a day or more.

Obviously I need to show DS firm boundaries but I wish DD would be more assertive and able to stand up for herself. While I always tell DS off I have told DD not to snitch but sort out her own business with him and I even encouraged her to fight back.

But Somehow I have a bad feeling about this approach.. Because in the end DS would be delighted to have her fight back and possibly might win any fight just because he is more aggressive. And also even though snitching is not regarded well, I am glad my daughter tells me things..

So, are you meant to let siblings fight it out?
What do you do about snitching?

Notmyidea Sun 14-Apr-13 13:52:04

If dd doesn't love play fighting it's entirely reasonable for her to complain if she's being hurt. If she's got the self control not to hit back at 5 she must be very mature.
Teach her to tell your ds "stop it! I don't want to play rough!" if he carries on she needs your help, just as she would from an adult at school.

Emperorsnewclothesshow Sun 14-Apr-13 18:54:14

Thanks for your answer! You're right and thanks for pointing this out. She still needs my help. I just have to get over her non-assertiveness as it annoys me. I have tried teaching her to say "no" in a stern voice, but she needs more practice..

I have also had a think today and come to the conclusion that we need house rules, one being "no hitting". If DS hits her he gets a time out. I just have to enforce that every. Single. Time. Sometimes the boundaries are a bit fluid, i.e. he doesn't properly hit but pushes her a little bit etc. I need to iron this out though.

Does anyone have ideas on how to discipline an argument-loving 3 year old ?

Emperorsnewclothesshow Sun 14-Apr-13 18:57:30

I have to add though that DD also thrives on the passivity of it all... So doesn't struggle at all when he pins her down etc but just calls out for me in a whiny voice.. she does rely on me to help her every time.

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