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Parenting

Difficult first night in big boy's bed...would love some advice.

28 replies

lifesobeautiful · 14/04/2013 07:21

A bit of advice please....

We put our DS, 2.6 yrs, into a toddler bed last night for the first time. He's been really excited about it (asking for it for ages), and was keen to give his cot to 'baby sister' who's arriving in just over two months. He's been sleeping through the night since he was a couple of months old, and he's generally a brilliant sleeper. Goes to bed after his book with no fuss at around 7.30. Sleeps till 8am/8.30.

HOWEVER, he then proceeded to spend two hours getting out - not upset, just coming through and laughing, and just mucking about, throwing his cuddly toys around etc. We must have put him back about 40 times. Eventually he went to sleep at 10pm (with me sitting next to his bed rubbing his back) and slept till 5am - whereupon he called out to me because for the first time since I took him out of nappies, he'd wet the bed. I then had to bring him in with me because the mattress was soaked.

I just want to ask wise mumsnetters if this is normal for a first night? Or do you think he's not ready for his big boy's bed? I dont' want to convert his old cotbed into a baby cot today if really I should just be putting DS back into it.

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SpottyTeacakes · 14/04/2013 07:27

IMO this is completely normal. Dd was a couple of months younger than your ds but after always going to bed so well she would run out continually. No tears or anything, just coming out. We wouldn't talk to her and would just pick her up and put her back.

I'm sorry to say it took us a couple of months of doing this but it did work we persevered because we wanted it sorted before ds came along and I'm so glad we did.

IcouldstillbeJoseph · 14/04/2013 07:29

I would say just stick with it and persevere.
We moved DS at 23mo as DD on way and he soon got used to it, after reluctance at beginning.
Would you entertain stairgate across his door?
Also, on a practical note, John Lewis do a very good waterproof mattress protector.
Good luck - and all the best for the new arrival

lifesobeautiful · 14/04/2013 07:35

Thanks so much you two. Okay, will persevere. I was thinking about a stairgate actually - because I couldn't sleep properly for fear he'd come out of bed sleepily while we were asleep and plummet down the stairs... Do they then just stand at the gate shouting? Do you ignore? Or do you go in and resettle?

Thanks for advice on mattress protector - will add it to my basket of moses baskets sheets etc!

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nellyjelly · 14/04/2013 07:37

Takes a while for them to get used to it. So just persevere.

Bed wetting is probably because ofnthe change. Second the wateproof mattress cover. Would also put the bed mat things over that so you can just slip it off if he wets the bed again in the night.

OccaSheila · 14/04/2013 07:38

We have a stair gate on the door, works really well. Good luck!

SpottyTeacakes · 14/04/2013 07:41

We never did the stairgate on the door, thought about it but the door opens the wrong way we have one on the stairs though

Brownowlahi · 14/04/2013 09:17

Hi, we just have a stair gate in the top of the stairs. It keeps everyone upstairs then (3 dcs) and allows for toilet stops in the night. Moving from a cot to a bed is quite A big thing for some children so he may just need some time to get used to it.

HPsauceonbaconbuttiesmmm · 14/04/2013 10:00

I agree, stick with it. DS moved to big boy bed at just over 2 and we had about 6 weeks of having to return him to bed. Worth it though.

I'd also second the John Lewis waterproof mattress cover, I have one on my bed too (heavily pregnant and expecting a gush!) and it's not noisy or sweaty. Only thing is they don't tumble dry, so you may want 2.

Would definitely use a stair gate, either at top of the stairs (we do this) or across his room. Depends a bit on where the toilet is. May be worth leaving a potty near his bed if toilet not going to be accessible.

It's just excitement at the freedom IMHO. Definitely the right time to do it before dc2 arrives. Good luck.

lifesobeautiful · 14/04/2013 11:01

Thanks so much everyone. I think we'll put the stairgate across his door - as he doesn't go to the loo by himself yet anyway. And as HPSauce says try a potty in his room. I shall grit my teeth and hope it doesn't take toooo long! Thanks again

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MyNameIsLola · 14/04/2013 11:14

I agree with everyone else, persevere and he'll get used to it soon.

I'm in the same situation, 2.4 year old DS and we moved him into a big boy bed about 10 days ago before next baby comes along. We had a tricky few nights but they're getting easier, the last few nights he's taken less than 5 minutes to settle.

Safety gate across the door is a good idea, our stairs are between ours and DS's bedroom though and are quite steep so I worried about him sleepily stumbling across the landing in the night.

lifesobeautiful · 14/04/2013 12:07

aaargh - first attempt at day-time nap not going well...finding it quite hard to keep my temper...grrr. I haven't got the stairgate yet it's only coming this afternoon. My DH says I should shut the door but I dont' want to make the whole experience horrible or scary for him...will keep quietly putting him back.

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HPsauceonbaconbuttiesmmm · 14/04/2013 12:30

Sorry to say but DS hasn't managed a nap in bed since we moved him (9months ago). We just gave up trying and he slept in the car, on the sofa, and now at 2.9 he v rarely naps at all.

One advantage of keeping him up now is that he'll be shattered come tonight!

lifesobeautiful · 14/04/2013 12:40

oh noooo - don't tell me that HP! He usually sleeps for three hours every lunch time... and I get some serious relaxing/work time which I really need! Crap, I'm going to give it a week. If no improvement I think I'll bring back the cot and move him when the baby's three months old (and hopefully in a good sleeping routine) so I can deal with the extra sleepless nights. I only did it because I thought it might be good to get him used to it before the baby arrives (and to avoid buying a new cot). But he wasn't climbing out or anything.

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HPsauceonbaconbuttiesmmm · 14/04/2013 12:44

Would you think about using a travel cot in his room for daytime naps? Better to make a clean break from his cot IMO. Good luck!

SpottyTeacakes · 14/04/2013 16:13

Good idea HP. OP I'm at that nap. Dd hasn't napped since she was two.

QTPie · 14/04/2013 16:37

We took the side off of DS's cot when he was 2 years 2 months. Had a stairgate on his doorway (but had had this for years anyway), double checked the "baby proofing" in his room (we don't keep too many toys up there) and left him to it. Initially we had a bed guard on the open side which helped. Sometimes he plays, sometimes he goes straight to sleep. He can't really hurt himself in his room (unless he does something really really silly). After the first week ir two, i did empty his clothes drawers amd move the clothes elsewhere (for a few months) - as i was sick if DS emptying them all over the floor. Each time you give them more freedom, you have to expect them to take advantage of it and wang to explore (they are bright and curious), but (mostly) they do settle down.

When DS was 2 years 10 months, we took the stairgate off if his door and just have one at the top of the stairs now instead. Again, we were prepared for more exploring and a bit of "acting out". A few threats of "putting the stairgate back on" curbed most problems. However he does now always come into bed with us at some point during each night (between 12 and 4am normally). This doesn't bother us, so we haven't addressed it yet. But you should be aware of the possibility of it (with a new one on the way).

Get the stairgate up and see how it goes. With most of these things "thinking ahead" and preparation are key to a smooth transition.

lifesobeautiful · 14/04/2013 16:39

Travel cot's a good idea! I will do that...you're right - I mustn't go back now. I must stay STRONG. Sigh...

Today, I'm ashamed to say, that I did actually shut his bedroom door after he'd been playing up for an hour. He called out 'Mummy' on and off for 10 minutes (but no crying) and then fell asleep on the floor. So I carried him back into the bed - where he slept for two hours. And he was so proud when he woke up and rushed about telling us how he'd slept in his big boy bed.

AND we now have the stair gate - so we're about to put it up. So I wont' need to shut the door again.

Spottyteacakes I think I need that nap more than he does...he's okay without a nap. But I LOVE it. If it goes I might actually go a bit mad! Better prepare myself though...won't last for ever!

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QTPie · 14/04/2013 17:59

DS is 3 years and almost 3 months and still naps 1.5 hours or more each afternoon... I just make the most of it :)

lifesobeautiful · 14/04/2013 19:08

Thanks QTPie - I'm glad to hear your little one is still having a good long nap! Long may it continue for both of us!

Stair gate's up - fingers crossed for tonight!

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lifesobeautiful · 14/04/2013 21:17

Well - thank heavens for the stair gate! Thank you so much for everyone who suggested it.

We put DS in bed - he got out, stood by the stair gate calling us for about three minutes (not crying, just saying mummy, daddy). Then went quiet. Just snuck up there to see, thinking he must have emptied all his toys onto the floor and fallen asleep on the carpet....AND he's in bed! Cosy under his duvet and fast asleep - no toys on the floor! Just one solitary book has been hurled into the hall...but that's it! Hooray! THANK YOU.

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QTPie · 14/04/2013 22:54

Well done! It may well vary from time to time (re toys, staying up later, emptying drawers...), but I have always decided "not to make an issue/game of it" - leave him to it, providing he is safe and not distressed.

You have made a big (good) step :)

HPsauceonbaconbuttiesmmm · 15/04/2013 06:53

Excellent! Hopefully it'll work for the nap too.

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lifesobeautiful · 15/04/2013 07:08

I'm so thrilled that you all told me to persevere because he slept through perfectly. He woke up earlier than usual at 6.30, but that's to be expected I'm sure. Thrilled - THANK YOU! Although as QTPie says, sure there'll be ups and downs (literally), but very pleased.

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SpottyTeacakes · 15/04/2013 07:14

Great news good luck with the new arrival

oscarwilde · 16/04/2013 00:07

We had a bit of regression when DD2 turned up. DD1 clearly felt she was missing out as everyone (babe in Moses basket) was in our bedroom and she was in and out of bed all night. We put her in her travel cot in desperation after 3 weeks and she slept through again immediately. Took about 3 nights and the mention of the cot now is enough of a reminder. Things massively improved though when we moved DD2 into her own room at 3 months.
In retrospect we wish we'd made a show of putting DD2 to bed in her own room and then moved the basket in later.

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