Anyone else just trying to survive...?(3 Posts)
I am just needing a bit of a rant / support / sympathy / encouragement! My dc's are 4 years (ds1) and 5 months (dd2) and right now I feel like I am just struggling to get by day by day, trying not to get overwhelmed and end up shouting, and trying not to be a terrible mum. It is just such hard work! Dd2 constantly has a cold or something that puts her off feeding, so feeds are time-consuming and difficult. That makes me feel quite anxious and stressed as ds1 had severe feeding difficulties as a baby due to silent reflux - he developed a feeding phobia, refused to drink, and was in and out of hospital till he was 15 months. I don't think dd2 will be like that, but it is hard to stay objective when she is fighting the bottle and not feeding very much. That then makes me on edge, and although ds1 is (mostly) a good boy, he is pretty lively and I can easily find myself getting wound up and am more likely to shout rather than staying calm. I don't want to be a shouty mum but am just finding it soo hard to keep my patience. Last night dd2 cried from 4pm for 3 hours and I could feel my sanity slipping away. I had to take myself off to the far bedroom for 5 minutes to escape or I would have lost it.
I don't have relatives nearby, in fact my MIL who I am close to is having major surgery tomorrow and my dh is going up there today for a few days. Dh is good with the kids when home, but works long hours and sometimes weekends too. Most of the time I cope fine, but these past couple of days I haven't at all. Just after some moral support! Feel like I am failing at everything - being a mum, keeping the house clean and tidy, laundry - everything is on top of me
I know exactly how you feel. Most of the time I am fine with my two. But when it gets really hard I become shouty and horrible those times stick out in my head more than the rest of the time I spend with them and I feel awful.
Sometimes I catch myself shouting at dd1, when I realise that I haven't told her what she's done wrong she's a four year old, and all she sees is Mammy shouting at her, and she probably has no idea what she's done. I feel at times, that I'm just so close to losing it, my sanity, it scares me.
I have just bought the.book calmer happier parenting which was recommended to me, hopefully it will help. But I think or at least hope, that everyone.feels this way sometimes, but that.nobody admits it.
Sorry no advice, but sending you lots of positive thoughts and good luck. I'm sure that you are doing the best that you can and in no way are you a bad mum
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