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"The Talk". Thinking of answers before the questions come up?

(6 Posts)
hazelnutcoffee Thu 04-Apr-13 17:06:27

Hey everyone!

I’m new here. Hi. smile

My kids (boy 5, girl 6) are at that age where they are really super curious about their bodies and have started answering LOADS of questions. I try to be as open as I can with them, but sometimes I feel I can’t answer all their questions - especially to my boy. A lot of the time, their questions catch me off guard.

I kinda feel it would be better if I had time to think about some of the answers before they asked me. I’ve tried the ‘Mummy will tell you later’, but they seem to think I’m fobbing them off and get all stroppy and go “No, now!”

So, I wanted to ask you guys - what are the strangest, most interesting or most embarrassing questions you’ve been asked about sex from your kids and how did you answer? Are there any answers you gave that you wish you hadn’t? Or any you didn’t that you wish you had?

Thank you so much, guys!

Flisspaps Thu 04-Apr-13 17:39:58

Why do you need time to think? Just be honest - it might be embarrassing, but it's better than confusion!

hazelnutcoffee Thu 04-Apr-13 17:51:14

I try to answer as openly and as fast as possible, but sometimes you wonder if what you say in the moment is really how you want to say it. And I hear a lot of parents talking about answering a question in an 'appropriate' way, and I guess I'm not always sure how to do that on the spot.

But you know how some questions or situations just catch you out? Or situations? My ds asked me the other day "why does touching your bottom feel good?" To an adult I would have said "It's packed full of nerve endings", but I didn't really think that would make much sense to him.

Flisspaps Thu 04-Apr-13 18:40:33

See, I think that's a very good answer. You could have a stock "I'm not sure, shall we find out together later?" answer for anything that you're not comfortable with or aren't sure about the age-appropriateness of the response? That might give you the time you need.

hazelnutcoffee Thu 04-Apr-13 18:49:56

Hey Flisspaps,

Thanks, that's a really good response. smile

I may just be worrying for no reason - partly because I'm super super straight forward and open, but most of the people where I live are much more conservative (I've moved to a very small town for my dh's job). Whenever I've tried to discuss "The Talk" with other mothers in the playground and playgroup, I've either been hushed, told that information is "too early at at age" and I've sort of been lectured about "age appropriateness" a lot. Quite a few of the mothers where I live are really fighting the school my kids are at about their sex education programme as well.

I know I should have more conviction (I think parents should be really straight forward and open), but I guess I've been made really anxious by what a lot of people around me seem to think. confused.

Flisspaps Thu 04-Apr-13 19:44:09

Quite frankly, attitudes like theirs are the reason the UK has such an appallingly high teen pregnancy rate, so be open smile I think you're right, they're wrong. Their kids are going to be the ones believing the playground myths.

My eldest is only just 3, but she has watched OBEM with me, and said that babies come out of bottoms - I corrected her and she now knows they come out of the 'bits' (her word) - if she asks how they get there I'll tell her it's a special grown up cuddle called sex.

I think if we're open and honest from the start, when our kids are little and they haven't developed body hang ups or embarrassment about asking questions, it's got to be WAY easier than suddenly having to bring it all up with an 8 year old about to enter early puberty (with all the 'EW!' factor that they've also developed!)

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