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Separation Anxiety has hit!

(5 Posts)
SFry Thu 04-Apr-13 09:58:46

Hi,

It would seem that separation anxiety has arrived for my usually independent, determined 8 month old. Whilst I think its great that he's developing and enjoying the extra mummy cuddles that usually he is too busy to give I need some advice.

My LO has always struggled to settle but usually can be convinced to do so in the car, after a very long walk or in a quiet dark room in his cot (maybe after a little complaint).

From a younger age he has never been able to sleep in a busy place or in somebodies arms where frankly there is too much potential fun going on. Gentle rocking will never do! Walking around with him in your arms may stop him crying but won't bring around sleep no matter how much you pace and will only give you some strong legs.

This has largely speaking been quite manageable as he can sleep in cot. HOWEVER, now he doesn't wish to be alone putting him in his cot for naps is a nightmare. When he would usually take 10 mins (at most) to settle is taking up to an hour. I walk into the room - fine. Even think of going towards door - not fine. As I said before, he won't settle in my arms or even if I sit there ignoring him to stop him crying as clearly there is potential fun to be had (crawling to side of cot and reaching out smiling etc.) even when he is clearly tired.

Anybody have any ideas?

Cheers!

Sian

LittleEdie Fri 05-Apr-13 23:31:27

No real advice from me I'm afraid. We just used to accept that sometime it would take her a while (ages) to settle. Though at the time I was worried about it and it seemed like we might never get it right. But it's passed. She settles fine now and you don't even notice as it happens gradually. Don't beat yourself up about it, it's normal. I really don't think there's a magic wand you can wave. Sorry if that isn't what you wanted to hear smile.

Runningblue Sat 06-Apr-13 20:04:58

Is there one nap over any other he tends to have - say the first nap of the day? Could you work on this nap, perhaps deciding on a method you're most happy with, eg taking him for a walk in the buggy? if you can get him to sleep by another method, his body will at least get used to the need for sleep around that time.
I had an extreme separation anxiety boy and i ended up cuddling him to sleep/ feeding to sleep A LOT. I felt very chained to it, so decided to walk to get him to sleep so at least i had another method. I found if i could get him to have the first sleep of the day, then the rest followed a bit more successfully.

debbie1412 Sat 06-Apr-13 20:28:48

Rapid return, and slightly sterner voice to let him know its sleepy time. My little one 5 months is just starting to have abit of a complaint with naps I'm using it to reassure but not backing down. Good luck x

CreatureRetorts Sat 06-Apr-13 21:51:19

What happens if you lie him down and keep your hand on him while he's in the cot? I'm a bit hmm at the idea of not "backing down" to a baby.

I kept my hands on both of mine until they slept. It was a phase, it passed and they settled quickly again.

They're 16 months and 3.6 now and very independent happy children.

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