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Failing my kids because I am knackered

(7 Posts)
crazycrush Wed 03-Apr-13 10:34:24

Not coping

I have 3 DC under 5, youngest is 7 months and I am delirious with sleep deprivation. We are currently on half term and i have no help. Baby started waking up every 2 hours per night, (maybe time to stop bf, as not enough milk), DC 2 and 1 ended up in bed with me ( they are not allowed I out bed at home btw) between looking after the three of them I have been up almost all night. We are currently in a holiday house, so maybe that wakes them? And the clocks change? And teething? Sorry this is even such a crap post <moan> sorry.

I am so desperate. And a crap and depressed mum because of the lack of sleep. The kids watch 1-2 hours of tv currently and I feel so bad about it. (I have a little bit of help) but still I can't cope.

The kids need to sleep better or I'll go insane. My 5 year old has beena bad sleeper all his life, so I cannot see an end to this. Not sure what I am looking for really. Just needed to offload.

pod3030 Wed 03-Apr-13 10:46:34

you are doing an amazing job. it's normal to doubt yourself and beat yourself up, it means you care, you are constantly evaluating. Perfection isn't all it's cracked up to be, and when times is tough, 'good enough' is the order of the day.

3 under 5 is a handful (bet you're fed up of hearing that old chestnut!) 2 hours of tv when you need the space is not going to damage them, they are safe and they will get something out of it (language skills, imaginative play ideas etc)

YOU ARE NOT CRAP. repeat. this too will pass. x

SnowHOHOboarder Wed 03-Apr-13 14:11:39

You are doing an amazing job. Seriously! It is bloody hard work surviving on next to no sleep (sleep deprivation is a known form of torture) and to look after 3 small children whilst dead on your feet is practically the act of a saint. Don't worry about the odd bit of tv here and there, in the grand scheme of things it's nothing. Just keep doing what you're doing and know that things are bound to improve. One day they'll be teens and you'll be going in to their bedrooms, throwing open the curtains and telling them to get up!

I have 2 under 2 and the littlest has only just started sleeping through after 9 months of waking almost hourly for a BF. I was poleaxed with exhaustion and in desperation tried controlled comforting which for us worked like magic. We never left him to grizzle for more than a couple of minutes but he got the message that he was supposed to be sleeping. I will probably be flamed for advocating CC but it was literally the last chance saloon for us - my DH had been sleeping in the spare room since DS2 was born (9 mo!), I'd been co-sleeping exhausted with the baby (dangerous!) and taking anti depressants for anxiety brought on by exhaustion. My GP literally ordered me to try CC.

Queenofknickers Wed 03-Apr-13 14:48:46

Agree with both above - try not to feel guilty about TV I really don't believe good quality (like CBeebies) for a few hours does them any harm and I have 2 gifted and talented (although hate that expression!) to prove it. Survival is the aim and their survival is dependant on YOURS. This is just my opinion and I'm probably going to be flamed but I would wean off bf (I was shattered whilst bf and did it for 10 months) and do CC. After 18 months of DS2 waking through the night and being utterly delirious I was ordered to do CC by psychiatrist (I was THAT bad) - he cried for 10 mins and slept through from then on......

You are doing a FAB job - please allow yourself to make life easier and no guilt needed. Xxx

mummy2benji Thu 04-Apr-13 09:19:53

Yes you are NOT a crap mum!! Wow I am exhausted all the time, live off coffee, and overuse cbeebies and disney dvds - and I only have 2 dc's (ds1 is 4, dd2 5 months). Having small kids is full-on, tiring, and feels like an impossible task when you're not getting sleep. I know for a fact that you are a GREAT mum, because you haven't mentioned losing the plot and shouting like someone slightly deranged. I do that blush although I feel my control sliding away and hate myself if I shout at ds1. Every day I have to remind myself that I don't want to be an over-stressed shouty mum, and I think that if parking ds1 in front of cbeebies for a good while a slight excess of cbeebies helps make my life a bit easier and keeps me sane (questionable) then that is better than trying to maintain ideals of minimal tv and going completely bonkers. Again, it is screen use, but there are some fab websites with free computer games for small kids - ds1's faves are the city lego games, numberjacks, and fireman sam. Just type them into google search and you'll have a happy child for a little while. The numberjacks one is quite educational.

Queenofknickers Thu 04-Apr-13 10:51:44

My youngest learnt to count from Numberjacks and DS1 talked about Fireman Sam like a family member ........ Still we all survived (smiles and tries not to count grey hair)

crazycrush Thu 04-Apr-13 19:06:03

Thanks for your replies and support!

DH is now doing nights with the baby... Giving bottles. Night weaning was on order in my situation.

Also I made sure I get out with the kids during day, 2 hours min. That helps! And btw.. I do shout too occasionally :-( when I feel too sorry for myself that happens and when DS2 is especially naughty.. But I read on here good tips on how to shout less and I am working on that all the time.

Trying to relax and enjoy it all :-)

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