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Safeguarding team have been made aware of how ex treats ds

(3 Posts)
Costypop Wed 03-Apr-13 10:17:13

If some of you read back though my posts you will see that there are a few things that need sorting out. My main one being how my EX cares for my DS, now I know this isn't an excuse but the EX was very emotionally abusive towards me and on the odd time pshyiscally as well, so this has been really hard. But getting to the point, the ex has always been a good dad up until recently and his standard of care has dropped off very dramatically. So here's a few things concerns I have. We share DS one week with me, the next with DD this is what I was pushed into and I know not ideal
1) ex moved into a house share, but had two rooms one for him one for ds. Not ideal again but it was a group of mates and only supposed to be short term. A few months ago ex decided to give up ds room so another mate could move in. He and ds now share a room. Ds has to sleep on the floor. I was only told this very recently ds let it slip as I wasn't to know!

2) ds hasn't been getting proper meals, we are talking living on salad cream sandwiches, and chocolate. Ds has been having a lot of stomach cramps, with me thinking hunger, asking him what he had for breakfast/lunch when I pick him up at 6pm with the reply nothing, I know kids say this but sometimes it really is nothing!

3) ex seems to get everyone under the sun too look after ds, ie new GF parents, new GF mates people that I never heard of or ds doesn't know until he is dropped off at them.

4) ex never does any homework with ds, or the little he does is very sloppy ie "the cat sat on the mat" ds is 8years old and should be expressing more complexed sentences, which he does with me.

5) ex let ds play on over 18 video games

6) ex never takes ds on days out, too the park or anything that is outside. It either telly or the Xbox

7) ex doesn't shower ds for days on end

8) ex doesn't change ds clothes for a few days he always looks really stuffy when he comes back.

So I took ds too the doctors yesteday and talked thorough things with him, also got him too check over ds thinks the tummy pains are from stress and lack of food, but as this hasn't been going on very long he should be ok.

So what happens next, doctor is contacting the safe guarding team today, then what happens

WillowB Wed 03-Apr-13 18:52:11

Have you contacted the safeguarding team yourself? Do you have a named family worker/social worker
Are you logging all this? My advice would be to keep a detailed record of all incidents with dates/times. I would also speak to the child protection co-ordinator or at the very last class teacher at your sons school about your concerns. They may also have noticed things and I would ask them to also keep a record if they're not already. This will support your case.
I imagine the safeguarding team will want to talk to you & your DS to start with. Encourage him to be as honest as possible, he may not want to talk out of a sense of misguided loyalty to his dad. I would expect them also to interview your Ex & have a look at his living accommodation. I guess they'll take it from there. They may decide to monitor the situation or suspend contact.
What a horrible situation. I hope it's resolved for your sons sake.

Costypop Wed 03-Apr-13 19:46:33

The school are aware of a few things, and I have there backing, it's the doctor that made the phone call, with my permission and knowledge.

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