Father doesnt want to know

[cedge]

I have got a son to an ex and after an argument his csa payments went up (to what they should have been for years) and now he no longer wants anything to do with his son.
For 7 years he has had him every weekend but now he no longer replies to my texts or anything. He has deleted his son from facebook and even sold his toys on ebay. His son has seen all this and is very upset....
Any advice on what to do? His dad just isnt replying

[ZZZenEggain]

if he has seen his son every weekend for 7 years and he can do this to him, I don't see much hope. Poor child

[cedge]

He is doing it to get back at me... but it is messing my boy up. I feel helpless

[specialsubject]

he must know how hurt your child would be by this. With this level of mental abuse, ('I don't want to see you') I'm afraid you now cannot trust him with your son.

[cedge]

Do you think that some form of counselling might be appropriate, i dont want this to twist him up inside.

[LadyMaryQuiteContrary]

His father sounds like a spoilt child who's throwing a tantrum because he can't get his own way. Your poor child! All you can do is surround him with love and the other members of his family and ignore his father. Make sure you still get maintenance though, your child still needs shoes and food regardless.

My ex didn't speak to our son (he's almost 14) for 6 months because ds corrected his grammar in an email. Seriously. He was abusive towards ds when he saw him last and ds doesn't speak to him now, he doesn't reply to my texts or emails either. I don't care as long as he (starts to) pay maintenance (I'm waiting for a court date).

Some absent parents are arseholes, it's the job of the resident parent to make sure the child isn't harmed. It's hard though. I purposely sent ds to a school which had a large number of male teachers so that he has some positive role models and he knows that I'm here for him if he ever wants to talk.

[AnAirOfHope]

Counciling, talking, and let him know its not him and that you love him.

It will affect him for the rest of his life and there is nothing you can do but love him and emotional support him as much as you can.

I would cut all contact with the twat sperm doner. Stop calling and defriend on fb and stop his family seeing ds for a bit till the situation calms down. To be fair i would not want someone like that around my son.

Good luck

[oopsadaisymaisy]

Hi op, I'm in the same position but nearly 2 years down the line. My son was heart broken but he's fine now and although adores his twat of a father he is very pragmatic about it and accepts his dad for who he is and what he can offer. They're resilient little souls and with your love your child will be ok.

[cedge]

Thanks for your replies. I guess i will just have to try and make up for his dad not being in his life.

[Loislane78]

What an absolute shit . If he has done this once then who knows when the next time will be so best start managing rxpectations around that. Poor DS and you :(

[DanniiH]

Poor kid! The positive I can see in this situation is that at least your son has seen that it is his dad being unreasonable and not you so at least he knows he can trust and have confidence in you! I would consider a bit of counselling just to keep him on track and rationalise things as this is the kind of thing I can imagine leading to going off the rails. Good luck. x