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What am I doing wrong?!

(10 Posts)
weightlessbabysdaddy Sun 31-Mar-13 13:37:31

My DD is 13 months old. She is a happy, healthy little girl who is hitting all of her milestones. She sleeps through the night, plays happily by herself and with her parents, and has a very healthy appetite. She doesn't have any words yet, but chats to us in babble, can make her feelins and wants known, and understands a lot of what is said to her.

The following, however, is a list of things that my wife and I have done which may well be 'wrong' and disapproved of. Any criticism; bring it!

She was born by elective c-section.

She was formula, not breast, fed, and I believe that this was best for her.

When she grew out of hr Moses basket at around 3months, she was moved into a cotbed in her own room. A few days later she was sleeping through the night.

We started weaning a a weekish before she turned 4months. She was fascinated from birth watching people eat, and she was ready to try.

We used a second-hand travel system (including car seat)..

We used a second-hand cotbed, and did not buy a new mattress.

On her first birthday she had some of her cake. This was not the first time she had eaten cake.

She does not watch TV. Ever (it is in a TV cabinet with the doors closed).

She is not taken to baby groups for socialising. My DW finds these groups cliquey and unbearable, and we do not think that there is any reason to suppose DD would get anything out of going.

In the last 13 months my DW and I have never been on a night away from DD (at least one of us has always slept in the same house as DD).

We have not put safety features on everything in the house. We have a log burner and no fire guard relying instead on telling DD not to touch (she doesn't). There are not those funny little catch things on kitchen cupboards.

We tell DD no. (but always explain why)

We let her explore and engage with the world by putting things in her mouth, even if that does include biscuits found on the floor that may have been there a while.

She has slept in the same bed as us. We have fallen asleep with DD sleeping on top of us, sometimes on the sofa!!!

There are probably many more.

Tee2072 Sun 31-Mar-13 13:38:31

Who says you did anything wrong?

weightlessbabysdaddy Sun 31-Mar-13 14:08:09

These things have variously been judged 'wrong' by different people, books, friends, family, etc (my mother believes me to be 'mean' for not letting DD watch any TV).

I was curious whether others have similar lists of naughties that they don't admit to?

ThreeBeeOneGee Sun 31-Mar-13 14:12:27

None of these things are 'wrong'. They are parenting choices which are different from other people's parenting choices. A couple of them don't fit in with the current fashion guidelines for best parenting practice.

Between the babyhoods of our four children, we have done seven of the things you listed.

equiliteral Sun 31-Mar-13 14:23:24

I have done some of these things, although i think lots of my parenting choices might be quite different to yours. Which is fine. FWIW my children watch too much TV, but coupled with a generally outdoorsy lifestyle so I'm OK with it. I assume that most grown ups are able to make the choices that are best for them and their family (and I am more than a little jealous of your sleeping-through-the-night baby). If people feel the need to criticise it is probably because they are insecure in their own choices. However, the fire guard situation: please reconsider! She's only 13 months - "no" might start being a lot less effective when she gets a bit bigger and wants to explore the world. We don't do safety catches (all dangerous things are up high though) or excessive babyproofing, but a fire guard is a must: even if you consider this low risk the potential consequences here are quite major.

Tee2072 Sun 31-Mar-13 15:48:13

I don't see any of my parenting decisions to be 'wrong' so I'm afraid I can't add to your list.

bbface Sun 31-Mar-13 19:09:30

A rather bizarre stealth boast post!

Beatrixpotty Sun 31-Mar-13 19:42:21

Why do you want people to criticise you?Most of the things you have listed go against current advice..but,so what?You obviously know this ir you woyldn't have made a list.As you have said your dd is happy,healthy and sleeps.There is no definition of perfect parenting,everyone does it their own way and hopes for the best.Have I missed the point of the post?

Megamum42 Sun 31-Mar-13 20:33:14

I don't think I understand your post. It sounds like nothing is wrong. She sounds like a happy contented child. There are lots of choices to make in parenting and we just all make the decisions we think are best for our situation. I don't think there is right or wrong.....

minipie Sun 31-Mar-13 20:37:21

Slightly bizarre post. Sounds like you are looking for an argument?

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