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That advert about your child running away.

(6 Posts)
PavlovtheEasterBunny Fri 29-Mar-13 13:59:11

The Railway children one - it really upsets me. I cannot bear the thought this could be DD one day. She is always by my side.

I work with vulnerable adults, some of whom have run away from their parents, most have such tense relationships between them and their parents if they have not been disowned completely.

I spoke to a mother of a drug addict the other day and her blase, resentful and lack of care attitude made me so sad. Obviously things have happened to make that so, her daughter is now a very grown up woman who rarely has contact and when she does it's because she needs some help.

But, I have found myself worrying about the future of my own children. What if I can't keep them safe? what if I don't love them with the passion I do now? What if they don't love me as they do now? What if they are not the lovely children I know and adore? what if I lose them? what if they run away?

So, yep, that advert hits me really hard.

Thumbtack Sat 30-Mar-13 10:48:56

I totally know what you mean, I think it's called 'The Fear', if we are worried then surely it's a good sign? I think neglectful parents might not worry, I don't know. Yeah adverts and news stories hit me hard too and I think about it for ages . . . Sounds a bit hippy but I'm grateful for each day with my 5 mo ds just in case something happens.

N0tinmylife Sat 30-Mar-13 11:18:13

I think all any of us can do is do our best to keep our children safe, teach them well, then hope for the best. There will come a time when it is all up to them, and all you can do is be there for them whatever happens in their lives. If you spend too much time thinking about it you will drive yourself insane!

I think Thumbtack is right about enjoying the now, no one can take that away no matter what may happen in the future. Try not to waste the good times worrying about bad times that will hopefully never come.

quickchat Sat 30-Mar-13 16:58:01

I worry about mine constantly too. I have horrid thoughts then wonder if im sane!

My friend laughs at me because where other parents say, "watch you might fall" im more "Watch if you fall you could brake your neck, loose a leg then eventually die from your injuries"!

I have a 5.5 yr old DS, a 3 yr old DD and a 7 month old DS.
I worry about them all but mostly about my DD. I think partly because she is my only DD and partly because she gets a lot of attention out and about. She is typically 'little girl' if you know what I mean. Loves dresses, has long ringlets and huge eyes and I see men and woman of all ages looking at her adoringly or commenting on her so naturally smile the men are all pedophiles!
I have worried myself sick with this and like you, the thought of a van driver snatching her from the street but I think it stems with working for the police before children. It has left me somewhat nutswary!

My 5 yr old DS running along infront of me on our narrow pavements on a busy street to school, not listening to my constant shouts has almost tipped me over the edge. I have a very vivid imagination.

I dread sleep overs. The day they want to go into town on a bus or train. Them wanting to walk to school on my busy street. Last but not least, when they move out and I can't scan there every move!! Ugh.

Im hoping that my hormones will calm down soon and as they grow so might my confidence. If that doesn't happen im heading for a straight jacket.

shallweshop Sat 30-Mar-13 17:09:40

That advert gets me too. I can work myself up into a frenzy worrying about my two growing up (especially about DD for some reason) and the things that could happen. I have to keep my thoughts and feelings in check otherwise I get so anxious about the future it spoils the present.

PavlovtheEasterBunny Sat 30-Mar-13 18:50:20

quickchat it's funny, because it's not a fear that they might get hurt, I am actually quite relaxed about letting them do things, and DD is a very gung ho type of girl, she broke her arm aged 5, and lots of people said they were surprised it had not happened sooner as she is such a go for it girl. And yes I was very worried and upset that she had been so badly hurt, but it was because she fell off monkey bars and so I felt that it was because she was being herself (and she is so much more cautious all by herself now!).

I just worry that when they are adults they won't be happy. Or that they will lose touch with us, that they will become tainted badly from experiences in life or make really bad decisions that change them so negatively - it's not the bad decisions themselves that worries me, I hope I will be there for them if and when those things happen to help them up again. I know I can't control that and I really don't want to. I tell them every single day that I love them and always will, and no matter what happens they will be my wonderful children (or, to each one, daughter, son). But, I know my mum fell out with my brother and didn't reconcile before she died. And I think, even though he was a shit 'but, he was your baby, your first born, you must have loved him like I love my children, when did you stop? what if I feel that way about my babies?' and then I look at mine and feel tearful.

And I don't dwell on it lots, just from time to time. But then I see that advert every time I log on and it makes me feel so sad and makes me cry sad.

But, yes, you are all right, thumbtack we have to live an relish every day as precious. I want to wrap this feeling of absolute love I have for them in a blanket and put it somewhere safe so if/when I need a top up/a reminder it's there.

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