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Wen will it end ?(10 Posts)
My DS is 10 weeks and all me and DP seem to do is argue he says im moody but he wud be if he ever helped with the baby i love him to bits but am starting to hate him! AIBU? Is it ny emotions all i do lately is cry x
Babies are hard hard work. Noone ever found parenting easy.
It can rock even the most solid relationship to the core.
First 12 weeks are particularly hard especially if your baby cries a lot and you aren't getting much sleep.
Do you have any other support besides DP?
rachi, congratulations on the arrival of your son .
I have 4 boys, the youngest is now 3 years, and 'it' has still not ended IYSWIM. Parenting is hard, the hardest thing I have ever done.
You sound v overwhelmed and low.
What support do you have? Family? Friends? Helpful health visitor?
The strongest of relationships get severely tested by the arrival of a baby. Babies are hard, hard work and really have only one way to communicate their needs: crying. I hope you have a calm baby. Do you every have your DP look after LO on his own? We all have to learn to look after a baby and your DP will need the practice .
Are you getting much sleep? Eating well? Getting out of the house? Do you have any time to yourself?
If you are crying all the time, please speak to your HV or see your doctor: you could well have postnatal depression. There is help out there, you will feel better, but you have to let somebody know how bad you are feeling.
I cried every day after DS1 was born, but even in the midst of it knew I was not depressed, but I was struggling with a very screamy baby and the sudden responsiblity and being tied to a little dependent person. So I am not saying that crying=depressed, but you should have the possiblity of depression explored by somebody with some experience.
Please be kind to yourself. This parenting lark is harder than anybody could ever have described to you. Take one day/hour at a time and your LO will get bigger and more independent and settled.
you sound like me 10 weeks ago.
I promise it does get easier, you will find a routine starts to form and you get more me time.
Also highly recommend you to get out and about join some baby groups we love baby sensory or just go for a walk it makes all the difference.
I practically do everything for ds i think i cry from lack of sleep my lil boy is the most laid bk child i know he rarely cries but weve been thru alot with him (he had pyloric stenosis n had op at 5 weeks) now hes ill i cant sleep for worryin DP offered to watch him tonight while i gt sum sleep but hes fast asleep . Dnt feel i could trust DP to be left alone as ge wont change a nappy snd occasional does the odd feed although he dotes on ds x got great support from parents ect but dont feel reDy to leave ds yet x i knew it wud b hard but expected a bit more help from dp xx
I think that you posted a similar thread before.
Your DP is not doing his bit, but only you know how your relationship works and what will motivate him to start pulling his weight. Maybe sit down and have a serious talk with him? Explain how awful and tired you feel and that he needs to step up?
Oh, you've all had a bumpy start, didn't you? Poor wee guy.
As QT said, only you know how your relationship works, but you have to find a way for the two of you to become a team, where one supports the other.
You say your DP won't change a nappy - will he not or does he not realise he needs to? Is he asleep because you are not and to his mind it means he does not need to stay awake? Is your baby asleep just now? If so, lie down - even if you cannot sleep, you'll get some rest and maybe relax a bit.
Hi rachi, congratulations on your ds.
Forgive me for saying this but if your DP won't even change a nappy, he doesn't really "dote" on your son. He is just choosing to do the easy bits which is immature and selfish. Do you have someone (your mum? his mum?) that can speak to your DP and point out how useless he is being?
Also, if your DP is asleep when he promised to take his turn, I would be kicking him awake and handing him his son! Your DP needs to become confident handling and looking after the baby - to do that he needs to be taking his turn. Can you maybe arrange that he takes the baby say on a Saturday morning and you can go out for an hour or two? That way he will have an opportunity to learn to be confident with your ds and you can get a break.
And as for the "moody" comment... How old is your DP, 16???! Of course you are "moody" - you are sleep deprived and have just experienced a huge roller coaster of hormones! Pregnancy, birth and the first few months afterwards can send you all over the place hormonally/emotionally and a real man would understand that and support you.
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