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My DS is drivng me INSANE!

(8 Posts)
MySonIsMyWorld Thu 28-Mar-13 17:32:51

He hardly eats.
He screams in his highchair.
He doesnt sleep in his cot
He doesnt have a nap in the day
He doesnt sleep until midnight most nights
He follows me around all fucking day saying MUMMYYYYYYYY and whinging
I'm a lone parent (again) after escaping a violent relationship and i feel my son hates me!
I feel like ive failed, routine is shot to shit, he doesnt sleep in his bed, he hits the next door neighbours baby, he hurts the dog when im busy doing something UGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

mummy2benji Thu 28-Mar-13 19:35:02

Oh you poor thing. You didn't say how old he is but I am guessing about 18 months? It is so tough when they are so demanding, but it does get better I promise. Well done firstly on getting out of the violent relationship, that is something to be proud of and will be better for you and your ds in the long run. He is at that clingy age, and possibly the break up of your relationship may have made him more so. That will settle. Try to get as much help as you can - talk to your health visitor, find out about mums and toddlers groups near you. Does he sleep in the car? Go out during the day so you're not stuck at home all day. Work on the routine bit by bit - maybe address bedtime first. You haven't failed and of course he doesn't hate you - you are his world. x

mamacoffee Thu 28-Mar-13 20:48:50

Well done for leaving that relationship.

If your ds observed any violence he may be feeling insecure and need to be close to you to feel secure. You have done the best thing for him, as well as you, by leaving that relationship.

I would say focus on one or two things you want to work on - maybe the bedtime sleep issue tp start with so you can have a little of time to yourself.(I know its easier said than done but just making a suggestion). It will take time for things to change so be patient. In the meantime just remind yourself regularly that this too shall pass.

Oh, and the one thing that helps my toddler when he goes through tantrumy phases (like right now...) is getting out of the house as much as possible.

MySonIsMyWorld Fri 29-Mar-13 13:34:35

DS is 22 months now, sorry for forgetting to put that. Im deffo going to tackle bedtime first, im dreading it! He does sleep in the car but i carnt afford the petrol to run the car most times sad

Im feeling so wobbly for some reason. Probs a mixture of everything crashing ontop of me!

ShowOfHands Fri 29-Mar-13 13:57:42

I have an 18 month old son and could have written some of your post. He has given up napping. He needs to nap. He shouts, hits, bites, gets frustrated, follows me EVERYWHERE desperate to be on me, refuses bed, has never slept in a cot and is very, very hard work.

I have an older child who was a dream to parent. No tantrums, no violence, no frustration. She was and is the easiest child in the world. I parent them both the same, I am happily married, nothing has changed. It's personality I think. I'm just trying to reassure you it's nothing you've done I suspect. You're probably doing your level best in the face of a demanding toddler's whims.

DS needs constant management. I genuinely think he's frustrated most of the time. He wants to do things he can't, be things he isn't and join the world in a way he isn't ready for.

I bet you have moments- as do we- where he takes your breath away with how kind he can be. DS will tidy up, clean, give cuddles, stroke us, sing, chatter and play. But it depends on him being well rested, well fed and on the wind blowing in the right direction. Other times and I could quite cheerfully take up breakfast gin.

I am feeling shitty atm as I have a 5yo who needs one on one time with me and her little brother won't abide anybody but him being near me. She takes it all marvellously and reassures ME that it won't be forever.

It's crap though. It passes. I think once they're older, better able to communicate and perhaps sleeping better, life will be easier. Otherwise I can only recommend chocolate, tea and swearing vociferously when they can't hear.

Try tackling sleep first. It's amazing how much better good sleep can make the situation. For both of you. I don't know about you, but we've got tooth after tooth coming through and I think a lot of what we're dealing with atm is caused by that. He's getting back molars as well as his last two canines and the drooling and biting is definitely down to that.

MySonIsMyWorld Sat 30-Mar-13 18:01:19

Children are hard work, before i had my ds i could of never believed this was too but now i understand!! Mind you now im a single parent and ive left dp it makes it easier on me because i have to do it, there is no one else to help im the only one if that makes sense....

I feel so bad on DS recently because the weather has been shit and trying to keep him entertained is a flaming nightmare, also our sleep pattern has been messed up so that doesnt help.... eeeeh just got to keep going i guess! x

2BoysAndNoMore Sat 30-Mar-13 20:04:18

I feel like this about DS2. He's only 15 months but his endless whinging and crying driving me to think horrible things about him. I'd never ever hurt him but there are times when I look back to my life with just DS1 and I wonder if we made a mistake having another baby sad He foolows us around whinging and crying, he screams as soon as one of us leaves the room, he cries for no reason, he screams when DS1 gets toys out he can't have. I know it's all normal. I know DS1 was similar to this. If I'm being totally honest I didn't like DS1 much til he was about 3 either. I loved him obviously but he made me feel like a bad mum.

DS2 whinges throughout meal times, cries to get out the highchair, cries in the pushchair yet he isn't walking yet which I know is adding to his furstration. He seems to spend most of the day whinging and it is drving me crazy. I keep reliving DS1's babyhood and trying to remember when it got better. It's like if I convince myself how hard it was last time (knowing how amazing DS1 is now age 5) I can convince myself that it will get better with DS2 also.

Poor DS1 is now 5 and often tries to cheer ME up by saying 'Don't worry Mummy, he's only a baby.' I feel like such a failure.

MySonIsMyWorld Sun 31-Mar-13 10:05:38

I feel like that sometimes too, sometimes I think fucking hell why did I have a baby!!! Its a normal feeling I think when a dc is whingey and crying and following you around and all you want to do is just put a can on beans in a pan and on the hob and your getting yanked at.... we are only human!!
Your not a failure, if you are so are most of us on here! You ob love your children otherwise you wouldn't still be around bringing them up, ive learnt that when ds is whiney and crying to take a deep breathe and remember there only doing it because they love you and your there world - see how your ds1 looks after you aswell, you have ob done a good job with him!!

I've been trying not to wish his early years away but its hard work isn't it! Sorry if im ranting, been up all night and head is a little fuzzy with lack of sleep hahah x

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