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Help! My baby hates my sister.

(12 Posts)
Cuddlydragon Wed 27-Mar-13 11:55:18

My DS is 8 months old and since he was about 3 or 4 months old has hated my sister and BIL. He sees them in a room and becomes hysterical and inconsolable. It took about 2 hours to calm him down last time. He is normally a sociable wee thing and will smile at any stranger.

We really can't figure it out, he sees them regularly, we are a close family, and he's the only grandchild. He screams if they visit him in our home, their home, our parent's home, everywhere really.

We can't have any family gatherings. It was my dad's 70 th last night and we couldn't all be there at the same time, so his birthday meal was staggered with us all in different rooms. We introduced them all again at the end, and the screaming started.

There has never been any incidents, nothing. They've tried not wearing any perfumes etc, ignoring him, sitting quietly etc. We are always there in the room.

My sister is devastated, they don't have children and she just wants to love him.

Any ideas gratefully received. It's really affecting us all, no family Easter, no family Christmas and now no birthdays. It's horrible seeing him and them so upset.

Beatrixpotty Wed 27-Mar-13 12:14:08

Oh dear,sounds very stressful.My second son was very wary of strangers as a baby and everyone on my DHs side thought he was really grumpy and that he didn't like them.That used to upset me as he was a content little baby,just a bit more cautious than socially gregarious DS1. He is now a lovely smiley giggly 2 year old who plays with everyone.I would keep seeing your family in the hope that things improve as he becomes more familiar with everyone and personally wouldn't avoid certain situations but maybe I don't understand how bad it is.

Cuddlydragon Wed 27-Mar-13 12:29:07

Thanks Beatrix, he's usually a content smiley baby. It's just them. I don't know if I'm being cruel keeping introducing them. He starts to cry and it's as if he forgets to stop. It can go on for hours even after we have all left. Hes not like that with anyone else, even strangers. Part of me feels keeping introducing, perhaps more often might work, but he is soo soo upset.

DiscoDonkey Wed 27-Mar-13 12:37:56

My DS hated my SIL too! Not really anything we could do. Have to say though SIL is a bit too try hard with babies and I think it put them off!

DiscoDonkey Wed 27-Mar-13 12:39:52

Could you film them so he can see them but not actually be with them? I would also suggest when he's in the same room as them that they ignore (not in a mean way!) rather than try to engage him. In my experience children are always drawn to people who show them the least interest.

wannabeEostregoddess Wed 27-Mar-13 12:47:02

I agree with Disco.

Also, you could be in the trap now that YOU start to feel tense in that situation waiting for him to start crying so he picks up that somethings not "quite right" and then gets upset.

SomethingOnce Wed 27-Mar-13 13:10:35

Are there any tensions in your relationship with either that your DS could be picking up?

nubbins Wed 27-Mar-13 13:32:45

my dd did the same with my brother, and my cousins baby did it with my aunt (the babys grandma). They both got over it before they were 3. My aunt and cousin are very similar, as are my brother and I and we always put it down to the babies being a bit freaked out by it. Don't make a big deal of it, don't force a relationship between them and they will probably grow out of it and could still be close in future.

pompompom Wed 27-Mar-13 13:34:51

DS hated FIL for aaages (which I found rather amusing wink )but got over it eventually.

Don't force it, he'll come round smile

rachi1990xx Wed 27-Mar-13 14:23:18

Im not on my own then my DS hates my SIL he cries everytyme he sees her (hes 10 weeks) but as soon as she leaves or sumone else holds him hes fine x i do find she gets ryte up to him and is always in his face as soon as she sees him dont know wether thats any help ? X

Cuddlydragon Wed 27-Mar-13 15:36:14

Thanks all, we are a close family and there are no issues or tensions. We all get on. I'm guilty now of getting tense about meeting up, but my DH isn't, and he's just as bad with him. I do think they're tense so maybe omega etching in that. I think we might just take a break but that means no family get togethers and that's so sad.

The video idea is great, I'll try that! Keep them moving please, and thanks again.

Cuddlydragon Wed 27-Mar-13 15:37:03

Omega etching !?! Something ....

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