We moved house to a new city (3 hours away) 2 months ago. My DH is finishing off his old job (staying there in the week) before he starts his new one here so I've been on my own in the week since we moved. It's been tough and had its challenges but thought I was doing ok. But things have got more difficult, my DH suffers from depression & is going through a bout of it right now due to pressures of work and being away from me & the baby & it's getting me down-I am going to baby groups but not got any friends I can really talk to just people to say hi to. I really miss my friends from before, I miss my old house, the town & am currently weaning but still breastfeeding twice/three times a night. I'm shattered and finding it difficult to cope. My family don't live near. My new HV (health visitor) is not helpful or approachable at all (my old one was fantastic) Is it right for baby to be feeding so much at night still? I feel alone and thoroughly fed up.
Hello sunshine you poor thing, you really have a tough row to hoe at the moment, don't you
The baby groups things will get better. Keep persevering. I know what it is like to move away from a really strong support network, but it will get better the more baby groups you go to and the more people you talk to.
How old is your baby? With feeding What is right for your baby is what is right.
As for your DH, does he take some medication for his depression? It. Use be intolerable for him to to be in this situation. When does he finish his job and be able to move to you?
I know it doesn't feel like it now, but the MN mantra "all this will pass" might help here. you will make friends, the baby will grow up, your husband wll get better, you will all be together.
And we will always be here to help you
oh dear - it must be difficult being on your own.
How long will it take for your DH to finish up his old job?
can you go back and stay with your family until he is ready to join you full time?
about the breastfeeding - how old is your DC? if you have just started weaning, they may well be experiencing digestive rumbles, and breastfeeding is nice and comforting. Alternatively, if you are giving too much solid food, babies cannot digest it all properly yet, and may well be losing nutrients - therefore, they feed at night to make up the calories.
hope you can make some friends where you are now - no doubt when it gets it a bit warmer, you can go out to the park etc. more.
hang in there
Thank you Norks x
Baby is 27 weeks (just over 6months) and I've been feeding him food for 2/3 weeks so maybe I need to be a bit more patient-just tiredness gets you down when it's 3am and I'm up again!
DH is on quite strong medication and I know he finds the situation difficult but I find it hard that when he is here he can't talk to me and makes us both feel bad before he goes away for the week and I'm on my own. Think I'm going to ask him to get some more help apart from just medication.
Will repeat the mantra over the next month until DH can join us and we're altogether again.
Thank you Tante x Good idea. I've contacted my Mum and will stay with her next week. I give the baby 2 meals a day-porridge and rice with my milk I express and finger food like cucumbers etc. he's arching his back a lot in the night and wakes up regularly but don't know if his teeth might be coming through? Not sure if I'm not giving him enough or like you say if his digestive system is getting used to it all.
Will make sure I keep persevere-ing with the baby groups.
Thank you both for listening and for your advice
Hello sunshine we could do with some of you round here. The farm still has snow on the ground and the sheep keep breaking in to the garden to eat my plants
Just thought I would check in to see how you are getting on, and to wish you a happy Easter
Join the discussion
Please login first.