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Toddler moving back into our bedroom, help!

(16 Posts)
MamaBlue4 Sat 23-Mar-13 11:58:20

There was a post of moving to a cot on another post this section, which brought up the issue I've been having and never thought to ask, I'm asking now, because I'd rather do it now than wait for it to become a big problem. I've cross-posted this in the sleep section but with no luck so far, so I'll try hear too.

DD is 23 months has been in her own room for the past 5 months, we hardly had any trouble as we used the rocking chair by the bed - to the door routine as well as switching between me and DH and gave her a new room present (stuffed wolf) which she sleeps with every night. Now the problem...

For the past months or so, a few times out of the week she climbs out of her own cot and climbs into the the cot at the other side of our room (the one we plan to use for dts)

I wouldn't mind but dts are 6 months and co-sleep beside the bed and when they wake, they wake her and visa versa, so by morning I have 3 cranky, tired dc, as the twins wake around 2-3 hours still for feds and she wakes from anxiety (DH mostly deals with her, as he sings her to sleep).

We've tried taking the cot down but she starts crying and attempts to climb into the co-sleeper, I know this because one night when she came in, I woke up and watched her to see what she was doing. She climbs on the bed and crawls into the co-sleeper, which woke dd3 who's a very light sleeper. Luckily I'm a light sleeper too, and wake up when I hear her climbing.

We couldn't keep the cot down, as it's not safe for her to be climbing into the co-sleeper or with us - DH moves a lot, so I'd rather have her in the cot than the sleeper.

I'm tired of having cranky dc, and would like to have some sleep back. I don't know why she's started doing this, and it has us both confused. Help? Advice?

Sorry for the long post! Didn't realise it was this long.

MamaBlue4 Sat 23-Mar-13 11:58:38

I meant ds3!

Tournesol Sat 23-Mar-13 13:00:01

Have you tried putting a stair gate across her bedroom door? I know it sounds harsh but it is not safe for her to be getting out of her bed and wandering around at night.

You could explain why she needs to stay in her room and do reward stickers for every night she stays in her own bed?

MamaBlue4 Sat 23-Mar-13 15:44:31

We have stair gates on both ends of the stairs, we were planning to invest in another when dts were older, I don't really like locking in her room as it freaks her out, normally she stays in her cot when awake, it's just puzzling as of why she's climbing out now.

We've tried explaining but she nods her head, says she understands but then does it again. I'll give the reward thing a go too. I'll try anything right now. Thanks.

YellowandGreenandRedandBlue Sat 23-Mar-13 22:21:07

Once she is climbing out of a cot it is time for a bed as dangerous. What you do about her climbing in the other cot I am not sure!

If she wants to sleep with someone could you sleep with the twins and dad sleep with her? Even if on a mattress near her bed in her room? Or put a small mattress on the floor near your bed for her.

It isprobably quite hard for her to understand why four of you sleep together and she is stuck on her own!

But she can't climb in with twins for risk of overlying.

YellowandGreenandRedandBlue Sat 23-Mar-13 22:22:26

I suspecting theory she does 'understand' and nod, but in the dark hours wants to join the family sleep party in your room!

saggyhairyarse Sat 23-Mar-13 23:20:57

Get her a big girls bed and a stairgate smile

Iggly Sun 24-Mar-13 07:03:16

You all sleep together, she sleeps alone. That'll be why. She's only little.

Get your DH to sleep in her room.

SavoyCabbage Sun 24-Mar-13 07:35:58

I like my dc to sleep in their own rooms but I can completely understand why she is coming in to your room as she's the only one not sleeping there! She must feel very left out if every member of her family is sleeping there, except her.

nextphase Sun 24-Mar-13 07:38:30

Sorry, agree with the others. if she is actually climbing out of the cot, the cot needs to go. What you then do about her getting into the twins bed is harder...

Is there space for a bed for her in your room (my little brother spent a lot of time sleeping on a mattress on my parents floor. I wasn't supposed to know, and the mattress was shoved under M&D's bed every morning.

Think DH sleeping in her room is the best bet (maybe coupled with a stair gate on her room?)

MamaBlue4 Sun 24-Mar-13 12:28:36

She's not the only one who sleeps in their own room, ds1 has his own room.

Her cot converts into a toddler bed, so DH plans on doing that doing that when he comes home from work.

Like I said she only tried to climb into the co-sleeper when the cot was down. Now, that the cot is up she climbs in there, and not in the bed with us or the twins.

nextphase There is room but we moved her to her own room 5 months ago without a problem and I don't really want to back track and confuse her.

DH and I will be using the fold up bed and gradually moving away like we did with the rocking chair, and see if that helps and I went out and bought a stair gate from babieRrus this morning, which is up and fitted and she hates it haha.

She seems extra clingy as well so I think she feels left out so I'm gunna spend extra time with her after creche and before bedtime and give her extra cuddles. I also think she misses DH as he works 7am - 5pm and hardly has time before she goes to bed to spend time with him except on weekends.

MamaBlue4 Sun 24-Mar-13 21:00:42

We decided not to convert her bed into the toddler bed but instead took the bars of the front (we have leander cot bed), I don't feel safe with her in a toddler bed yet.

Right now DH is asleep on the fold up by her door, and she's fast on. It doesn't happen every night, so we'll see how we get on in a week. I'll keep you posted.

YellowandGreenandRedandBlue Sun 24-Mar-13 21:07:40

I don't get how she is not safe in a toddler bed yet safe to climb out of or into a cot confused

MamaBlue4 Sun 24-Mar-13 21:58:47

I didn't say that; I said I don't feel safe using the toddler bed for her yet and DH wants some sort of bumper around her; he's adamant it and since the cot converts to basically a cot without the front bars, it's simpler - I never thought her climbing was safe hence finding the safest way around it. Luckily, she's a small toddler and still fits with loads of space around her and I don't see the point of converting it to the toddler bed when she still fits in it perfectly with sides (expect front) bars up.

I'd like to keep her there as long as possible, she never climbs anything else, she's not very adventurous but it seems the cot climbing is her new thing - hoping this stops it smile

MamaBlue4 Wed 27-Mar-13 12:31:29

Update so far as it's only been a couple of days; she's got out of her crib once, started crying which woke DH, he put her back into bed but she was having none of it and was gearing up for a tantrum. He carried her into our room, we shared a few cuddles while ds4 was bf, and then she fell asleep against DH. Moved her back to her own room, and hasn't been up since but I'm not holding my breath yet haha.

MamaBlue4 Tue 09-Apr-13 20:32:58

Another update, it's been a couple week and things have improved. Her bedtime routine consisted of bath, bottle, book/song, and bed. DH pointed out that when the twins are fussy, she is and looking back on it the twins have been slipping back into a newborn routine during the nights (constantly waking and feeding).

We set up a new routine where after her bath or extra playtime, we combined her bottle with cuddles with dh, she then says goodnight to her already sleeping twin brothers, then book/song with me, before falling asleep.

It's only been in place over a week but she hasn't been out of bed, so I think it's working. Thanks for all the advice I received.

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