Controlled crying

[Lelemarie88]

Hi - I've been reading jo frosts confident baby care book and have a few questions about controlled crying - hope you can help! :-)

When you return each time to reassure baby do you wait until they have stopped crying before leaving again or leave regardless of whether they are crying or not once you have said shhhh gently and rubbed baby's belly?

My little one rolls onto her belly when in her cot - should I go turn her back onto her back each time I go back in?

If baby settles for a while say after the 10 minute check but then starts crying again before the 20 min check do you go back and start from 2 minutes again before going in or just carry on and wait until the 20 minute check and then the 40 min check etc?

What if baby settles as above but wakes up after the 20 min check time has passed - do you go back in after 2 mins or wait until the 40 min interval?

What if baby settles just as you are approaching the check time - but then starts crying again a few minutes later after the check time had passed- do you go in straight away (as you didnt go in at the scheduled time as baby was quiet) and then continue with the next scheduled interval, go back to the start and wait 2 mins again or don't go in and check until the next scheduled interval or wait a few minutes before going in to check and then continue with the next scheduled interval?

NB I will be checking at 2,5,10,20,40,60 etc mins as I don't want to leave her crying for more than 20 mins at a time!

Thanks! :-)

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

Did try cc with DS but it didnt work. Doesn't the book explain these points? I would be very unhappy leaving a crying baby for 20 mins let alone 60 but maybe that's just me?

How old is your Lo Lele? Have you seen the isis website. It's a really good starting point if you are looking to make changes.

Been as you have so many queries over the Jo Frost book it might be worth reading Sound Sleep by Sarah Woodhouse. It's not as prescriptive as JF.

[ash979]

I did the Jo frost way worked a treat after two nights going down at 6.30 till 6am. When we went in she was always standing up crying I would literally go in put her down on her back and walk.out again. She would usually bestarting to get back up again by the time I turned round but I still walked out. I stuck to the times, no matter when she cried into the routine, didn't go back to the beginning as it were. First night we got to the 40 mins slot till she went off and she woke up in the night and it took an hour to get her to sleep, second night went to sleep after 20 mins slot and then up once for about 30 mins and third night went straight down and slept thru. That was about a.month and a half ago and she has slept thru ever since!

[ash979]

I found the key was don't get eye contact!

[queenofthepirates]

I'm not an expert but...

When you return each time to reassure baby do you wait until they have stopped crying before leaving again or leave regardless of whether they are crying or not once you have said shhhh gently and rubbed baby's belly?

No, you reassure then leave. There's a chance baby will carry on crying because they know you won't leave and that's the wrong idea.

My little one rolls onto her belly when in her cot - should I go turn her back onto her back each time I go back in?

depends on baby's age but can she turn herself back?

If baby settles for a while say after the 10 minute check but then starts crying again before the 20 min check do you go back and start from 2 minutes again before going in or just carry on and wait until the 20 minute check and then the 40 min check etc?

no, carry on with the 40min check

What if baby settles as above but wakes up after the 20 min check time has passed - do you go back in after 2 mins or wait until the 40 min interval?

40 mins

What if baby settles just as you are approaching the check time - but then starts crying again a few minutes later after the check time had passed- do you go in straight away (as you didnt go in at the scheduled time as baby was quiet) and then continue with the next scheduled interval, go back to the start and wait 2 mins again or don't go in and check until the next scheduled interval or wait a few minutes before going in to check and then continue with the next scheduled interval?

I'd probably pop in and resettle then reset the clock again

Hope that helps

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

I think its worth keeping in mind too lele that a young baby will have no idea that if you leave the room, you are coming back. Babies also have no idea of time, and 40 minutes is a long time to be distressed, at any age. That's just my opinion though and I appreciate that not everyone thinks the same

[Lelemarie88]

Thank you for all your comments - i personally didnt feel comfortable leaving her past 10 mins so started at 2 mins then increased each interval by two mins then once i reached 10 mins i kept doing 10 min intervals. I am pleased to report she now sleeps 7pm to 7am and is much much happier during the day and goes down for her naps with no problems. My little one is 7.5 months btw :-)

x

[MamaBear17]

I have just read through the Jo Frost method and most of it is very similar to what I did with my dd with one exception: I only stood outside of the room and 'actively listened' for one minute. I never doubled the time or stayed away for any longer. I couldnt leave her longer, so I didnt. I literally went back into the room, layed dd down shhhhd and rubbed her tummy and then left, standing outside to 'actively listen' sit on the step and cry for another full minute before returning and repeating. First night took 2 hours, by the fourth night we were down to five minutes and within ten days no crying at all. HTH