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The lies we tell our children...

(121 Posts)
Flamesparrow Fri 05-May-06 12:09:05

"You have to have both sides of your hair tied up because otherwise you will be unbalanced and fall over lots"

morningpaper Fri 05-May-06 12:19:10

"The ice cream van makes that pretty tune when it's run out of ice-cream"

acnebride Fri 05-May-06 12:19:27

[after ds has chewed off the toothpaste] Now I have to brush your teeth a bit - it's the law'

alicemama Fri 05-May-06 12:22:03

Eat all of your crusts off your sandwich...they're the best bit!!

worked on dd1 anyway

intergalacticwalrus Fri 05-May-06 12:22:10

I haven't as yet told any lies to DS as he's only 17 months. Am cooking up some for the future though.

My dad told me that spaghetti grows on trees at Spagetti Junction. I believed him for years, and was always really disappointed that every time we drove through it, I didn't see any of the trees in question.

DP told his DSD that baloon sellers have to wear special lead shoes to stop them floating away.

Normsnockers Fri 05-May-06 12:26:30

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Weatherwax Fri 05-May-06 12:37:29

I Love the "we can't afford a monster or a ghost .." I must try it next time

Weatherwax Fri 05-May-06 12:40:10

Do you think "monsters don't go near children who eat brocoli" would work ? [hopeful smiley]

GeorginaA Fri 05-May-06 12:41:03

Normsnockers: we use that exact same line here about monsters/ghosts If you say "there is no such thing" ds1 doesn't believe me, if you say that we can't afford them he swallows it hook, line and sinker! Perhaps he's just got used to the "too expensive" phrase for other things

Normsnockers Fri 05-May-06 12:49:49

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blueteddy Fri 05-May-06 12:53:23

I remember telling DS1 that if he ate his carrots he would be able to see in the dark.
It worked, as he ate every last one, but after dinner he shut himself in a dark cupboard & then shouted out "It is not working, Mummy!"
He was 4 at the time & hasn't bothered much with his carrots since!

bran Fri 05-May-06 12:53:29

I told ds that the ppfffttt noise was mummy burping.

yeahinaminute Fri 05-May-06 12:55:23

Did you know - and this is a fact - Monsters/dinosaurs/creepy things can't actually go upstairs and therefore are NOT and Never will be in DD's bedroom - This is because like Haggis they have two short legs and two long legs and if they try to climb stairs they fall over.

Also in Sainsbury's just before Christmas DD was bored at the checkout and was playing with the springy tape thing they pull over when a till is closed. I told her that the man who is filming - pointing to the camera (actually a speaker) in the ceiling forwards the tapes of naughty boys and girls on to Father Christmas, the Tooth Fairy and Grandma's as they are all on the same network! Bloke in the next aisle was pi**ing himself!

Normsnockers Fri 05-May-06 12:55:36

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secur Fri 05-May-06 13:02:21

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babyonboard Fri 05-May-06 13:59:09

I used to be told by my gran..
'eat all the crusts it'll make your hair curl'
my male cousin with cork screw curly hair that he hated was told 'eat all the crusts it'll straighten your hair'

my little sister was terrified of the moon..until my mum told her it was the 'power rangers' magic beam to help her see in the dark

babyonboard Fri 05-May-06 14:03:31 mum once said
'oh you've got to learn to shut the door when you come in from the garden..theres a draught coming through'
which i heard as a
'giraffe coming through'
and was worried by..
i always closed doorsbehind me after thatone!

GeorginaA Fri 05-May-06 18:12:18

I love blueteddy's carrot story

yeahinaminute: what a GREAT idea about the camera ... I'm so going to use that one...

PinkKerPlink Fri 05-May-06 18:12:59

the witch hanging from the ceiling in the soft play centre is real and will come down if you are naughty

Kelly1978 Fri 05-May-06 18:43:27

the 30p rides int he shopping center never work

babyonboard Fri 05-May-06 18:49:07

hehe kelly..

my aunt keeps foreign coins in her purse that she can give to her toddler for those things and feigns ignorance when they dont work...

giraffeski Fri 05-May-06 18:51:39

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giraffeski Fri 05-May-06 18:52:25

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Harpsichordcarrier Fri 05-May-06 18:58:19

my dd1 seems to be under the impression that the tune f the ice ceram van is church bells ringing
I honestly don't remember telling her this... but I haven't disabused her either

morningpaper Fri 05-May-06 19:06:18

"The dentist just wants to count your teeth!"

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