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Getting your pre baby/toddler/child life it over rated?

(11 Posts)
OffAgain Wed 27-Feb-13 13:33:23

My two DC are 10 and 8 now and although they still really need me, they are growing in independence every day which is great. But, is it wrong that I feel a bit redundant? I don't love my job and feel the best job I have ever done and enjoyed most is being a Mummy.
Don't get me wrong, I still remember how tough the early years were and can remember counting the days til my youngest went to preschool so I could get a little bit of 'me' time but I now feel like having my old life back (including uninterrupted sleep and lie-ins!!) is a bit over rated and have been thinking about the possibility of having another child.
Anyone been in the same situation/had the same feelings?
Would be great to hear if this feeling passes or how it went for you if you took the plunge and did it all again!!

dothraki Wed 27-Feb-13 13:42:36

They are lulling you into a false sense of security. You need to build up all your strength for the joy that is puberty wink

OffAgain Wed 27-Feb-13 13:51:44

Ha ha dothraki!! This is a big consideration-going through teenage years and terrible two's at the same time.....that would just be crazy right??

dothraki Wed 27-Feb-13 14:06:44

No the big consideration would be - would a new baby - hitting puberty as you hit the menopause be safe for your sanity !

SquidgersMummy Wed 27-Feb-13 18:29:30

Thing is, I know what you mean, I only have one 6mth DC, prebabyhood I did all sorts personally, academically and professionally...babyhood beats it all - and this is from someone who has not had decent sleep AT ALL in the last 6mths! Would you consider child minding or fostering? X

OffAgain Wed 27-Feb-13 18:49:48

At the moment I work with quite a few families with foster children and I just don't think I could foster, i don't think I would be strong enough to watch them leave again...I am going to change my career soon (hopefully) to try and get a new focus and something I enjoy more...maybe then I will stop pining for the baby days!

melonribena Wed 27-Feb-13 20:34:36

Just a thought OffAgain, I'm not sure what you are changing your career to, but maybe you would consider working with children as a childminder, TA or maybe a teacher?
I'm a Key Stage One teacher and get so much joy from the children I teach but they go home at 3.10!

OffAgain Fri 01-Mar-13 09:12:22

Yes melonribena, I might give that some consideration....
I just find it a bit overwhelming the speed at which they have grown up and watching Child of Our Time made me feel even worse!!!

Fairylea Fri 01-Mar-13 09:20:04

Oh I know that feeling.

That's why I had ds (now 8 months) when dd was 10 ....!!

And now I'm wishing he was older.... ! Well a bit anyway. Can't win.

It's biology. We are essentially designed to want another baby when our laps become free smile .. ensuring the species goes on etc.

OffAgain Fri 01-Mar-13 11:29:21

Fairylea, do you think it's the newborn bit we are addicted to?

How is 10 yr old coping with new baby?

Think you are def right about the biology bit as it is a feeling I just can't shake regardless of how many times I go over it and over it!!

Fairylea Fri 01-Mar-13 14:48:02

I don't know really. I just got absolutely desperate to have another, even though I'd always said I'd rather stick pins in my eyes!
I think if I'm honest part of it for me was I wanted to know I wasn't too old, I wasn't getting older as I was still young enough to bring a life into the world. I didn't want to think I'd never be pregnant again, never hold another newborn or have a little toddler curled up next to me.

It's bizarre but it takes over your life. And now I feel as an older mum I have a lot more time and patience to enjoy ds being a baby than I did when I was younger with dd. Maybe that also spurred me on.

Thankfully dd adores her brother. Loves him to bits and no jealousy at all. So maybe I've been lucky but it's worked out well here smile

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