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I'm a bad mother

(13 Posts)
Hmr1717 Wed 27-Feb-13 02:50:15

Or so that's what I'm lead to believe because I...
...feed my dd to sleep (she's 5mo)
...pick her up when she cries
...cuddle her when she cries
...bring her in bed with me if she's not sleeping

Damn it. She starts nursery in 4 weeks. How will she survive?!???

Purplehonesty Wed 27-Feb-13 02:58:46

Me too. My dd is 8mo and I do all those nasty things.
Sometimes too when she doesn't want her dinner I give her pudding instead!!!
Mean mummy.
Your dd will be fine but you might want to start practising naps without feeding to sleep so nursery isn't a huge shock for her...

Hmr1717 Wed 27-Feb-13 03:03:46

Where do I even start with that? I've been told to let her cry before 6m can be 'damaging'. Good god. I can do no right!! Help!!

Tolly81 Wed 27-Feb-13 03:06:05

Will she feed to sleep on a bottle? If so, nursery will do it. My nearly 9mo dd still feeds to sleep and I don't leave her to cry either (but then she always cries for a reason - wants changing, teething, etc) so I must be a mad mummy too! (I have to say my dd doesn't sleep for long at nursery as she isn't familiar enough there yet, but only goes 1 day/week, she has started sleeping at my dps and MIL's now).

Yahbro Wed 27-Feb-13 03:08:57

Well, she will! DS1 cried every time I left him, but always eventually calmed down. He's still a bit uptight, 16 years later!

Essbe Wed 27-Feb-13 03:17:51

My 13mo is breast feed to sleep for every sleep at home, but goes to daycare 2 days a week and sleeps there (admittedly not for long). They pat/rock etc them to sleep if that's what a baby needs. I don't think it's any worse of a transition than for any other baby, everything is new and different there so just do what works for you at home and they will find what works for her there IME anyway.
Sounds like you are doing great smile

Purplehonesty Wed 27-Feb-13 03:33:05

Have you read the baby whisperer? She recommends feed, play for a while then when she starts to yawn pop her straight in bed.
Do shush pat til she is asleep.
Worked great with ds, this time I haven't quite gotten Around to it!!

Bumbolina Wed 27-Feb-13 03:43:13

I must be be awful too - still doing all those things with my 20 month old not what you want to hear

HappyAsASandboy Wed 27-Feb-13 06:31:58

I still do those things with my 2 year olds!

Nursery is fine. They find their own way of soothing the children, and the children adapt to that.

My two are completely different for me, my mum and nursery. They sleep at different time (and for different lengths of time), they eat at different times, they will eat (or not) different things. It's like they have three lives!

I wouldn't do anything in preparation for nursery, except organise a long series for settling in sessions. First few just for an hour or two, with no expectation of eating or sleeping, next few with a sleep or meal time, gradually stretch out the times. Your DC will be fine smile

Loislane78 Wed 27-Feb-13 07:31:14

Bad mummy is what I saw yesterday; baby about 5-6 mo outside in a pair of socks, thin cotton leggings that were riding up and exposing its leg, a 'summer' cardigan/jacket and no hat or gloves. It was 3 degrees here. Baby was just being carried in this v unstable looking makeshift sling so totally exposed poor thing.

What you're doing is responding to your baby's needs smile Have you spoken to nursery about your 'concerns' and what have they offered as a solution? You'll be doing settling in days so should work itself out smile

Hmr1717 Wed 27-Feb-13 07:44:53

Thanks ladies.

I haven't spoken to nursery about my concerns yet as I'm worried they'll scowl and tut at me. But I gave some settling in sessions booked in the 2 weeks before she starts.
I'm worried ill go an pick her up at the end of day one, and they hand her back with a note telling me never to return! shock

I've considered lying and saying "well she sleeps fine at home, must be the different environment..."!!! But that won't help anyone, least of all dd.

I must must must stop worrying about it though, it's taking over my last few weeks of mat leave confused

You've reassured me, so thank you xx

OldBeanbagz Wed 27-Feb-13 11:20:16

I did all those things when my DC were babies and they both went to nursery when they were 6 months old. Believe it or not they survived and are now happy & well adjusted 11 and 8 year olds!

You'll be surprised how well they adjust to nursery. My DS started a new nursery at 3 and trooped in with the rest of them to lie down and have an afternoon nap in the quiet room.

He'd completely forgotten that he never napped at his old nursery & had dropped naps at home when he was less than 18 months old shock

lifesobeautiful Wed 27-Feb-13 11:40:16

One of the girls at our NCT group was like that re: feeding/sleeping - her baby couldn't fall asleep anywhere except at her breast, not even in a car seat or pram, until he went to nursery at a year old. And she didn't do anything to prepare him for nursery - said they could deal with it! And he coped absolutely fine apparently. You're obviously happy with how you do things, so if I was you I'd just leave him and enjoy these times before nursery. I bet he'll adjust fine.

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