DS wandered off after soft play...

[cheesecakeandchips]

Hi, we went to a soft play birthday party today. We had our meal in an enclosed cubicle and when we had finished eating I went to get our shoes and coat from the other side of the cubicle and when I turned around my DS was gone. I searched round the play bit assuming he'd gone off with the others boys, but he wasn't with them. I then started to panic but after about 30 seconds (which seemed like 5 minutes) I saw him standing by the exit door all by himself! I ran over to him and asked him what he was doing, and he said he was with a lady and pointed to the girl who worked there, but she hadn't seemed to notice him. Later he just said he went over there on his own to wait for me. He has NEVER walked off like this before, I was terrified!! I realise I should have been much clearer to him about waiting for me while I got our things. I feel terrible and idiotic for not having been more careful I usually watch him like a hawk.

I reminded him about how he must never walk off on his own, and that he must never go with anyone he doesn't know, and he just looked at me blankly I think he was very tired. When we got home both me and DH tried talking to him about it, asking him if he should walk off and what he should do if a stranger asks him to go with them and he just keeps saying he doesn't know!!

We have another soft play party tomorrow and I am now dreading it. Does anyone have any tips about how I can talk to him about this as I'm not doing a very good job

[Bearandcub]

You'll all be fine. How old is he?

they all do it, it's scary as all hell.

[Lucyellensmum95]

If the play centre is set up properly your DS shouldn't be able to "escape" without his grown up - by exit door do you mean the actual exit, or the door that you have to press a button to get to?

[MrsSham]

How old is he? I wouldn't push him on getting the answers you want on this anymore, you need to just gently remind him during such activities to stay close don't wander etc.

I would imagine he would not have been able to get out the exit with out you or DH. As scary as it is at the time, these things happen all the time, don't dread going tomorrow just be aware and do things a little differently with out any panic.

[cheesecakeandchips]

Thanks for your replies, you have reassured me I've been suffering from quite bad anxiety all week, and just managed to get on top of it, and now this has set me off again, panicking about things that could have happened!

He has just turned 4. It was by the inner door, next to the front desk, not the one with the push button, which was the next door out. So I guess he knew not to stray too far.

We don't go to soft play often, so I hadn't really thought it through. Tomorrow, we will definitely have a talk and arrange a plan about where to stay / who to stay with. Thinking rationally, he is normally pretty good at sticking to any plans we make, we have a chat and then make a "deal" and he likes that, so maybe I'll try that!

[fairylightsinthesnow]

If he is 4, he really should be able to roam around the soft play by himself tbh. If he was just near the inner door, not in any actual danger of getting out anywhere, then I think you are over-reacting at this point. Maybe just show him the door, say he should go through with you and leave it at that for now? I know its worrying - DS (3) took off across the supermarket carpark today to "get a trolley" and could have got squashed flat - he didn't. he was ut of my grasp for about 2 secs but you do think "what if?". You just have to force yourself to be rational.

[breatheslowly]

I lost DD at soft play at just 2. She and a little friend decided to go into a staff only area and were returned by a member of staff. Yes I should have been watching her more carefully, but the place was massive so it was hard to keep track.

[hippo123]

I think he's a credit to you to be honest. He obviously didn't know where you were so went to the door, stood near an adult that worked there and waited for you. Mine would haves been running on the main road having climbed though an open window. Don't be so hard on yourself, or him.