How's your patience when feeling shattered!(10 Posts)
I am guilty of being naggy shouty mum when tired. Poor ds1 (4) is the one who gets snapped at as I can hardly shout at 4mo dd. Well, actually I have and felt terrible for it, but sometimes the relentless demands of both of them on top of poor sleep and no time to myself take me close to breaking point. Part of being a mum, I think. x
Know what you mean Littlerays, I'm flipping knackered at the moment and DD (2.7) is not getting the best of my patience. I did read (ok skim read) a book called playful parenting which recommended that when you absolutely want to brain the little lovelies you try to make a game. Like threatening tickling rather than doing serious face when you've got a defiant toddler on your hands. It has worked for me sometimes, though I don't think its a solution to everything. But sometimes when I know she's got out of the wrong side of the bed and yet we still have to go with ordinary things of life like shopping and cooking its saved me from losing my rag with her.
Yes I find my patience wearing thin when I'm tired, and have felt myself getting shouty, DP also. I hate it, it's not how I want to parent (or ever imagined I would!) I was a CM for years and never once shouted at the DCs. I don't want to shout at mine!
The last thing I want to be is a shouty mum though, it's not fair on DS. I've got this book specifically in an attempt to tackle this: Calmer Happier Easier Parenting
It's written by someone who actually is a childcare expert (relevant qualifications, decades of experience, a background as a teacher and a mum) and was recommend to me by mumsnetters.
There's a technique per chapter, you learn it, have a go at implementing it and then when you feel comfortable you move on to the next chapter. DP and I have read the intro and chapter 1 and are just starting on doing the first technique, hope it works! It's for children aged 3-13.
Another book which has been recommended to me here, I haven't got it yet but will do (might order it now actually!): How To Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk
It's so hard when you're tired, but I'm ashamed to say I've left it too long to deal with this I think. (DS is 4). I get the feeling he just zones me now out if I shout now, it doen't make him more cooperative! It's up to me to find a way make this change I think. Muddling through simply wasn't working.
Crap. I do not function well when tired. I heat myself snap and think shit, I didn't mean that. Blurgh.
I feel so bad! On days like today I've had no sleep.
And dd1 refused to get dressed. I asked nicely three times an then I just pulled her to me and said will you please just listen!!!! Then she got teary. I don't want to have to shout for her to listen! Tiredness is horrid, I'm fine the rest I the time. But lack of sleep m&s my patience is low. It doesn't help when toddler just doesn't want to listen, or she does on her terms - which I know is usual behaviour!
Crap. That's how bad my patience is. I had had about 7 hours sleep in three days last weekend and we took my stepdaughter bowling. I kept getting spares and strikes and what do I do????? Complain my soda had gone flat!!!
She was two in October. Obviously she is still small but it's the small things like not listening. I ask her to do something about four times in a calm voice, then it results in me shouting at her. Then feeling bad.
Like just now. I asked her to bring dd2s toy as I need to clean it, I was sat trying to get dd2 to sleep. And she just ignores me. Then ran away with it with a menace face on her. Then I shout and she throws a fit. I just don't know what else to try other than calmly asking. But then she just doesn't want to listen half the time.
Know the feeling well. Hits you like a truck some days. Find something you enjoy doing. Read. Watch tv. Go for a walk. Eat some chocolate. I do squats that are so uncomfortable makes me calm down and releases energy that is built up. I had a crap day yesterday can't get dd to do day naps drove me nuts. Felt like putting him in the shed. I didnt by the way but they all push our buttons. Get a friend around for a chat oh and some biscuits and have a good chin wag takes your mind off it someone can hold dd for a bit
I feel like I keep snapping at dd1. :-( I usually have all the patience In the world. Just lately I feel tired, under the weather and just tired!
And then that makes me think I'm being rubbish.
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