4mo screams when I'm not around(5 Posts)
I am the primary carer for 4mo DS. DH is out of the house 14 hours a day. Our families are miles away so we see them infrequently. As a result, DS is with me almost all the time and although we go to lots of baby groups and activities, I make a point of getting out every day, he isn't spending much time with other people regularly. When he is with anyone else, including DH (but aside from my dad for some reason) he screams. Proper sobs with big, real tears. I have to leave him alone with DH for a KIT day at work soon so we need to get through this. This morning we mentally prepared ourselves for the screams, I fed him and then left him with DH while I popped to Tesco so he could get used to being alone with him. He pretty much screamed non stop apparently, although calmed down to a whimper, and stopped when I returned. What do we do?! He is not clingy as such as he's happy to play on his own if I'm in the room and even plays while I shower when it's just the two of us. I hope it is just a phase, but suggestions welcome please!
I can't offer any advice, but I'm in a similar situation, my little boy is the same age. My DH doesn't really spend enough time with him, and i don't help the situation. If he's crying its me who goes to him. DS is breast-fed frequently and naps on me so is physically next to me most of the day. He has always been clingy, not good with me leaving him to shower, cook etc.
Today I went out for several hours and he screamed and screamed with dh (he was very overtired and dh couldn't get him to sleep) but as soon as i came in and picked him up he was fine. I think DH gets quite upset about this.
I don't think my DH is very confident around him, and maybe Ds picks up on this. Could this be the problem with yours? Dh is fine when he's happy and playing but not when he cries. He usually hands him to me going "I think he's hungry".
Paperclips we're living the same life! I think it is a confidence thing as he always hands him to me when he's crying. I think that's what we need to work on! Thanks for sharing your experience.
Despite my dh being at home with us the bulk of the day, he works early morning and evening, our 14 week old has developed the same habit. She'll play happily with him if I'm in the room but as soon as she realises I'm gone screaming, sobbing and real tears!
My sister, not a parent but studying psychology promises me it's normal at this age and shows good maternal attachment. Dd just needs to learn I will come back.
My daughter was like this from 3 mths, and was still a prob at 18mths, so decided to try to "wean" her a little bit, so we could have bit more of a normal life! I got couple of friends on board, as well as DH, and started leaving her with them for literally 5 mins at a time, with me in the room at first, and then once she accepted that, I would go outside the door and come back in when she started crying, leaving it a little longer each time. It worked eventually.
Join the discussion
Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.Register now
Already registered with Mumsnet? Log in to leave your comment or alternatively, sign in with Facebook or Google.
Please login first.