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Whining 3 year olds. How do you deal with yours?

(19 Posts)
belindarose Sun 27-Jan-13 20:20:49

She does have lots of lovely 'quality' attention and play, as well as being able to play by herself happily with soft toys, dolls house etc.

The whining is just incessant at the moment. About anything - often for more and more of whatever she's just had (food, TV, cuddles, stories, playing), although has always been told what she can have (eg 'this is the last story' or 'only one banana'). The whining quickly escalates to big screamy tantrums when she realises she's not getting whatever it is she wants.

Just wondered how others deal with whiners (and hoping some tales will cheer me up). We have a 6mo DS, so I know a lot of this is about attention - I try my best with that!

baileyslover Sun 27-Jan-13 20:22:36

Sorry no answers but watching with interest as my 2yr old is the same. smile

belindarose Sun 27-Jan-13 20:24:22

Looking back, mine was probably the same when she was two! It's just got to me today.

WhispersOfWickedness Sun 27-Jan-13 20:25:12

I don't know but I'm watching with interest as I have a similar 3yo! Minus the tantrums though. He is driving me mad as he will not accept a 'no' first time, it has to be followed up with 'Why?!'...

NoNoNoMYDoIt Sun 27-Jan-13 20:26:29


Reward the good / average / not bad. Ignore the 'bad' unless it is destructive or actually hurts someone else

This too shall pass...

TwistAndShout Sun 27-Jan-13 20:29:55

My 3 year old is exactly the same at the moment. I think he's probably got used to lots of treats and excitement over the Christmas period and is now struggling with the mundane / routine/ any kind of rules!

I just try my best to make rules and decisions clear, then IGNORE he whining and subsequent tantrums as far as possible. He does stop after a while when he realises it's getting nowhere. If there are others around thus going an audience, then I remove him from the room to a quiet place to screamitout calm down.

I do think 3 year olds are a challenge though! Brighter than 2 year olds and not as settled as 4 year olds!

breatheslowly Sun 27-Jan-13 20:31:37

DD isn't 3 yet and isn't a huge whinger, but we did the "go out into the hall until you have calmed down" today, a variant on our normal going into the hall for 2 min when she is naughty. She took herself out, composed herself and let herself back into the lounge. I was amazed as it worked very quickly and she was very willing to go. Would that work or have you already tried it?

2LBroomStick Sun 27-Jan-13 20:32:10

Ignore it. Hard, I know, but turn your back, don't respond and walk away. As soon as she stops or talks normally, praise her.

Shelium Sun 27-Jan-13 20:46:36

I used to say "oh I'm sorry dd, I cannot hear whining, only proper talking" and then ignore. Or repeat and ignore. She soon stopped and asked for whatver she wanted in proper tones.

At aged 5 she hardly ever whines, but the attitude she has is apalling grin

UrsulaBuffay Sun 27-Jan-13 20:50:19

I tell her not to whine as I don't like the noise and to speak properly then I explain she can't have x y or z then she tantrums anyway and I ignore haha no solution I've come across she is just 'three' grin

Overcooked Sun 27-Jan-13 20:51:52

As Shel says above, I say 'you know I don't respond to whineing, say it in a normal voice please'.

Tantrums - I ignore and leave the room, I will keep going back every couple of minutes or so asking if she wants a cuddle until I get an affirmative and then we're ok.

I also often leave room if she's winding me up and I am 'on the edge' so to speak - they are very trying!

BlackSwan Sun 27-Jan-13 21:17:32

Whining, tantrums - moods swinging from happy singing to kicking and screaming, crying over the most nonsensical little thing,... constantly. I'm there. DS 3, has started hitting me, pulling my hair, calling me names - just really losing control of himself when he is angry. It's tiring. I wonder what I'm doing wrong, but I always haul him up for bad behaviour. I wish I had answers!

MsFlippingHeck Sun 27-Jan-13 21:28:11

Yes yes. Dd 3.4 is this all over.

Whining crying hysterical over the most trivial things numerous times a day then snaps out of it and is all jolly and happy. I'm left frazzled and total wrung out.

I've not got any tips. <unhelpful>

ItsAllGoingToBeFine Sun 27-Jan-13 21:29:47

I just say that I can't understand that voice, please use your nice voice and laugh at her

NatzCNLS Sun 27-Jan-13 22:11:21

My DD went through this, got out the other side and is now doing it again (will be 5 next week) and it's driving me mad! I tell her now, as I told her then, that I dont understand what she is saying and if she wants to talk to me to talk to me properly worked better when she was three! hmm

Doubletroublemummy2 Sun 17-Mar-13 01:20:38

I still maintain who ever came up with the phrase terrible twos never made it to three!! My girls are 4.5 now. but the 12 months of being 3yrs old was painful! whining, tantrums, I will never forget the foot stomp with angry crossed arms! I used time out and kept consistant and eventually it did ease. They still try it every now and then. DT1 is particularly whiny but I think it's due to tiredness after school. I still don't repond to her whining.

soundevenfruity Sun 17-Mar-13 01:38:46

I vacilate between "I don't understand when you are speaking like that" and trying to voice whatever feelings DC has at that point and end up hugging and generally bombarding with love. But as I've had quite a lot of bereavement in the family recently I tend to go the the former and feel guilty about it.

borninastorm Sun 17-Mar-13 02:11:23

I whine back at ds2 who is 3, it makes him laugh and he snaps out of it.

I also talk like a sulky teenager to both my teens when they're being hard work and they're so embarrassed by me they snap out of it too, well sometimes.

Girlsville Sun 17-Mar-13 14:16:27

Dd1 just turned three and is exactly the same. It's reassuring o know she's not telly one as its really wearing me downat the moment and I am not enjoying her. sad

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