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(32 Posts)
stopsayingmum Thu 17-Jan-13 21:21:09

Please will someone tell me that their stubborn, argumentative, attention seeking, messy 7yr dd turned into a lovely, pleasing, organised and compliant teenager/adult.
I love my dd but SHE DRIVES ME MAD!!!!

Portofino Thu 17-Jan-13 21:23:30

Sounds like my 8 yo. I have started having to be FIRM/MEAN. She is good really but oh so scatty. MEAN is working to at the mo.

Hanikam Thu 17-Jan-13 21:26:41

smile welcome to the club! Ours is nearly 11 and no sign of becoming organised, compliant or pleasing.

Having said that, she is thoughtful, loving, caring, loves to laugh, hates bathing, and is grown up in body but not in mind!

Have a brew, take a deep breath, and say all things shall pass

stopsayingmum Thu 17-Jan-13 21:27:42

She can be so RUDE sometimes! Oh course she's incredibly lovely really, but today at school she lost her school dress!!!!! How can anyone do that??? I collected her still in her PE kit. She had it on when I dropped her off this morning! Of course it's "not my fault".

Portofino Thu 17-Jan-13 21:28:34

For example I have repeated ad infinitum " do not lose your gloves/put your home work in the folder provided/notes from school ditto/ write you name/date on work (as directed by school) etc etc. Then we had 3 day of no gloves, no dates etc, bits of paper screwed up in bag.

A couple of days of NO TV sorted that. Insert suitable punishment of your choice. Today dd came home with 3 pairs of gloves, 10/10 on spellings, the folder and name/date done etc etc. grin

Portofino Thu 17-Jan-13 21:30:47

Mine hates bathing too. She is very strong willed and actually I don.t WANT her to be compliant per se. I want her to have opinions and be able to argue them. Within firm boundaries.....

stopsayingmum Thu 17-Jan-13 21:32:16

She has lost her beloved Christmas present at the moment.
I'm not sure she cares though.

stopsayingmum Thu 17-Jan-13 21:33:44

Well yes, later on in life being strong willed will be a good thing. Aint no-one going to mess with her when she's the boss of her own company!

Portofino Thu 17-Jan-13 21:34:08

And HA at the excuses! It is never "their" fault. I tell myself, after wine, that girls like this will go far! They will take no shit, will be masters of their destiny. I LIKE that. Tis bloody annoying though.

Portofino Thu 17-Jan-13 21:36:36

And she probably DOES care that she lost her present - but won't let on about it. As then blame could be attributed......I think it does them good to learn that not caring for your stuff has consequences....

Hanikam Thu 17-Jan-13 21:38:06

Found DDs homework outside the front door. She stopped to say goodbye to the cat on the way to school, and put her book down.....then went without it!
And before Christmas she lost her school shoes.

stopsayingmum Thu 17-Jan-13 21:38:33

Portofino you SO understand!

Well, if wine is what is recommended..........

Portofino Thu 17-Jan-13 21:44:18

Definitely wine! And like I said, you need to do/stop something to focus their attention. CONSEQUENCES.

stopsayingmum Thu 17-Jan-13 21:47:52

For real effect I take sweets out of her sweetie bag. That hurts.

Andro Thu 17-Jan-13 22:21:16

I can tell you what I was like:

Stubborn - I was and have remained so, I just learned to channel it more appropriately.
Argumentative - I still love a good debate/discussion but in time I also figured out where the line between debate and argument was (I was about 12 when that happened).
Attention seeking - This I have never been, the only time I felt like going down that route I knew it was futile.
Messy - I was shocking until I went to secondary school.

I was never deliberately rude though.

Portofino Thu 17-Jan-13 22:28:36

Do you have a dd, Andro?

stopsayingmum Thu 17-Jan-13 22:30:08

Andro - and have you turned out ok? Not in prison I presume!!!

stopsayingmum Thu 17-Jan-13 22:30:23


wigglesrock Thu 17-Jan-13 22:40:08

Mine is an eyeroller (she may get it from me blush), she also is very scatty (from her Father). She is very tidy, she likes to have all her CDs in a nice pile so she can learn all the words and sing them all the time!

She is also the oldest of my 3 daughters (7,5 and 23 months) - who has the wine? grin

Follyfoot Thu 17-Jan-13 22:44:46

My DD was all of those things at 7 stopsayingmum. And 8...and 9. In fact she was about 17 1/2 before she suddenly turned into this thoughtful, wise kind girl.

She still loses everything though and its never her fault

CatPussRoastingOnAnOpenFire Thu 17-Jan-13 22:46:21

Ha! Hang on to your hat, I've got news for you and you aren't going to like it....
It gets WORSE! Teenage girls are fairly horrid! Sorry!

diplodocus Thu 17-Jan-13 22:51:33

But are the teenage girls who are a nightmare the same ones who are willful when younger, or is it the turn of their more docile counterparts, that's what I need to know. You've all described my DD exactly, and I keep wondering when it's going to get better.

Follyfoot Thu 17-Jan-13 22:58:20

I think the willful ones remain willful, and some of the docile ones probably become willful too.

Tigerbomb Thu 17-Jan-13 23:04:09

Mine was like that - eye rolling, attention seeking, stubborn, opinionated, always right, willful etc but five minutes later she would be the most loving, funny, kind child you could ever meet.

Sometimes she was such hard work. She got worse in her teenage years and we had many a spat. She is now 23 and can still be a mare at times but she mellowed out and we now have a fantastic relationship.

Apparently I was the same and my mother often told me that she hoped I got a daughter just like me and I found myself repeating it to my daughter.

stopsayingmum Thu 17-Jan-13 23:09:50

Ooohhhh the singing - yes the constant singing!

I am dreading the hormone changes.

I have the wine. wine

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