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Further freakingly fantabulous adventures of the 40+ Mummies

(1000 Posts)
10000Fireflies Thu 17-Jan-13 20:13:44

For gorgeous, frolicking and fabulous 40-somethings to share the joys of becoming a Mummy, just a little bit later than most!! grin. Park your zimmer-frame next to your baby buggy, put your feet up, and come and join us in the snug.

blueblackdye Tue 23-Apr-13 23:05:19

Eagle, you are so right to travel as much as you can while baby Eagle is not mobile yet. I found it more difficult once babies start to move around, they don't sit quietly on planes, they climb on you, pull on people's hair sitting in front of you, or kicking in their seat, or worse, screaming during the flight ! Travelling by train is easier but we can't go very far. Although I'd love one day to take the Orient Express and watch the time go by.
Greece, oh, it must be lovely in this season, not too hot, not too crowded either. Lucky, lucky, lucky you !
Off to bed. It is getting really late, A has not woken up since 8pm, yeah ! Hope she will go back to her 7/7 pattern soon. But DS kept coming out from his room between 8 and 9.30pm. It will be a long day tomorrow for him. And for me....

somewherebecomingrain Wed 24-Apr-13 07:26:32

Hello 1000firelfies how is baby ff? Sorry about the tummy subset and sleep upset. You are one of the original people on here I remember you were inspiring on the Ttc thread.

Sorry not to name check more but need to have a slight moan. Have stopped taking painkills and scar fine. But ligaments and hemorrhoids suddenly v problematic. Feel my crotch and lowrr back are made of elastic which keeps getting hooked on things and catching as I walk.

Also dp has booted up his creative projects at the same time as doing his full time job (all of 2.5 weeks after the birth). He's out all the time, but worse getting attitude from his partners some cause hes neglected them but one is being a total bitch and doesn't seem to want to work with him, he's all wound up and I feel quite pissed off. I just want to be happy and enjoy our gorgeous koala daughter and he's gone off into weird 'proving myself' dramas. His father died young and he is driven but I worry whether he can really manage all this. His mum, knowing all this, woke him up in the middle of the night (shes living with us) to talk about her house purchase anxieties!

Cue bad morning.

Anyway hope your all well xxx

10000Fireflies Wed 24-Apr-13 13:21:48

Hi again all. See, I couldn't resist you for long!!

Thanks for the good wishes re baby FF and his tummy troubs. Have an appt at the start of June (only took 8 weeks to get ...) Suspect lactose intolerance or cows milk protein intolerance, so now EBF again, which is delaying TTC (as I want to take a huge cocktail of supps again and don't think v good for him). I am a bit worried about the delay, on the other hand, what's a few more months? It's possible my tube blockage got so stretched during pregnancy that both are open. Fingers crossed.

I feel a bit sad now that I was so gung-ho about combination feeding at first as I wonder now whether that was what gave him such terrible colic for months on end. I'll never know. I heard all the 'breast is best' messages, and had witnessed first hand sickly kids who were only FF, so I was keen to BF. I had no idea though about the unsuitability of cows milk for babies and combination feeding really suited us. He is thriving, and happy as anything, and developing such a gorgeous, cheeky little personality that I shouldn't get too upset.

Eagle well done for booking that holiday. Have a lovely time and enjoy. And don't take too much crap... you won't need tooooooooooo much. wink Oh, and enjoy the cinema. Wish I'd gone more when baby FF was smaller. He'd be a total PITA at one of those now. Two more months and we'd be barred anyway. He's 10 months now and getting v big and strong. shock

BFF and I will be completing his 10th flight soon. I know, such a show-off. Here's a biscuit and a wine for me. And we will have done 4 of those solo. I think it's character building!! For baby and me!!!

BBD hope you're not lone-parenting for long?

somewhere oh poor you. That sounds like a total nightmare. Have you still a prescription for painkillers? Does it ease that horrible feeling if you take them? You should take them if they are still prescribing stuff. I was told once that you make it more difficult for your body to heal if you don't take pain killers. It puts your body under stress when it could be using that energy to heal the wound instead. As for your DH and your DMIL..... I don't really know what to say. Is this your first DC? Has it made him go a little mad? My DH didn't know what hit him when DS arrived. He had his priorities totally wrong, rushing around after other people, never turning up at the hospital during visiting hours as he was collecting visitors, buying cakes they didn't want etc etc. He adjusted to his new status of fatherhood and recognised the need to support me after about 3 months, by which time it was too late really... the need to get me lunch/dinner/snacks/chocolate/a lovely big glass of chilled mineral water had passed.

Ooopsie. Touch of verbal diarrhoea there!! blush Sorry. Anyway, love to you all. Afraid will only be able to visit intermittently for the coming while, but hope to do better soon and get to know you all better xxxx

10000Fireflies Wed 24-Apr-13 22:40:32

Oh gawd... I've killed the thread!!!

eagleray Wed 24-Apr-13 23:10:33

No you haven't - I've got a spare 10 mins now that Baby E has finally gone to bloody sleep!

OMG re your flights! Are you visiting family or something? Any advice to impart? I'm hoping to BF on take-off then hand her over to DP so that I can read Grazia and neck some wine.

Sorry you've had problems with possible intolerances - I am still such an utter novice at feeding so can't offer any advice/experience but hope you get it resolved soon.

Ouch Somewhere - the memories of broken lady bits is still very fresh in my mind and so you have big sympathies from me. I keep getting a sore back, esp first thing in the morning in bed and wonder if it's buggered ligaments or related to epidural (it's right where the epidural went in). Hopefully it will go eventually.

Hope your DP's dramas calm down a bit soon - god only knows what goes on in men's heads. At times they can be more difficult to handle than the babies/toddlers we care for.

BBD did you survive the day ok? Do your horror stories re older babies on flights come from personal experience? I heard recently that there's a lot of controversy around sedating children with antihistamines on flights - apparently it's commonly done. It's something I've always done myself with long haul flights to break up the monotony.

Baby E slept 9pm til 5am last night - a record!! Doubt she will do same tonight as think last night's sleeping was connected to jabs/calpol but let's see...

Cinema trip was utterly fabulous - cafe/arts centre setting with lots of space, tables, chairs etc, plus complimentary pots of tea/biscuits. Baby E pooed at a critical point in the plot though and when we got back from baby room I couldn't work out what was going on. Will definitely go next week!

scarecrow22 Thu 25-Apr-13 06:25:18

no you haven't probs are mostly this infernally awful phone, plus my life dominated by irritation with DH, which seems a disloyal thing to post about. There, I've gone and said it!

somewhere, do take care. I was told they have cut through ,,5-6 layers to get to baby and only stitch up 3. The others are left to knit themselves back together. if you want them to heal right listen to your body. Think of it as a short term pita to avoid a long term real pain. Perhaps ham up the relapse/symptoms and tell DP and MiL you need bed rest and more support. Here Kenneth the lecture I need to give myself!
on DH and the creation of totally unnecessary distractions I 100pc sympathise. After months of ignoring my pleas he has mended cutlery drawers, rearranged heavy furniture, framed pictures... Yours however sounds more mentally draining too. Sympathies x

scarecrow22 Thu 25-Apr-13 06:55:41

eagle - 12 weeks??! it seems like two weeks ago babyEagle arrived in the world and you were so amazingly strong in establishing bf etc. Another reminder how super quickly this precious time flies. Fantastic holiday idea, and lovely time to go and top up vit D. Given all emphasis in vit D by NHS now perhaps they should subsidise all new mums and babies to do similar grin We are off in our campervan to France with both DD and T when he is 3mo. This is a somewhat foolhardy plan perhaps, but we will spend middle week in a flat - one of three in an old house with friends in other 2. None of our friends on this trip have young DCs - all grown up or never had - so will be interesting experience!!

Vir D story reminds me end of week T was born DH turned off location tracking and updated FB status as arriving at Nassau airport in Bahamas. Some of his friends (??!) actually believed him and were posing incredulous messages. Sometimes you gotta live him, infuriating though he is can be.

scarecrow22 Thu 25-Apr-13 06:57:12

vit D, love him, etc.
blooming new HTC phone

Midgetm Thu 25-Apr-13 07:22:42

marking place and waving hello. Need time to read back but lively to hear from FF. sorry about your allergy woes. Don't beat yourself up about BF. I was BF and I am still a coleiac - thems the breaks. Not everything is mothers fault. Sorry I have been AWOL. Master Midge being christened Saturday so I have been demented cleaning, tidying and being a grade A weirdo housewife. Midge got a skin infection on Sunday (just in time for his christening) so lots of Dr's and we go on holiday next week so all in all crazy busy. Hopefully once christening over I will have time for a good catch up. I flicked quite a bit back and could not see LRM. Is she MIA? Big waves and some socket plugs tithe baby proofers.

blueblackdye Thu 25-Apr-13 10:46:06

FF, no you did not kill it, we are here ! I had a difficult night and day so could not post although read your posts. But A is playing loudly right now on her rug, crashing her head on the radiator, happily chatting to herself.
Intolerance to certain food is not something you have control over. So as Midget said, don't beat yourself. You did the right thing at the time with the knowledge you had then. But hey, your little boy is thriving and that is the most wonderful thing !
Midget, apart from the house cleaning, cooking and rash, how was the christening ? And Holidays ! It seems to me you are always going somewhere ! Lucky you ! Exciting days.
Eagle, horror flight stories are from experience,1st one : me sitting in front of a 4 yo boy on a day flight from Paris to Punta Cana, he spent 6 hours kicking in my seat, for the 2 others hours, one of his parents was chasing him up and down the cabin ! 2nd exp : flight from Bordeaux to London, 1.30 hour flight but the longest hour of my life, DS, then 18 months, would not sit still, he wanted to walk ! Which was impossible, small aircraft, drinks being served, safety.... So he started screaming, kicking, climbing.... How embarrasing, especially when 3 rows behind us, there was a little girl, maybe 2 yo, fast asleep. But at the age of 3, we flew to Mauritius, night flights bth was, he was an angel, slept through the whole journey. I have never used anything to make him sleep apart from boobs !
Somewhere, be kind with your body, it takes time to recover. Yes, men sometimes have weird behaviours, priorities that are nonsense to us and who knows why we choose to live with them ?! Very irritating, indeed.
LRM, hope you get some rest, baby M is playing his magical tricks on you with his cute smile smile
2 more days and 2 more nights on my own.... The light at the end of the tunnel ! Tbh, it has been easier than I feared.
Time to cook lunch. Will be back later

blueblackdye Thu 25-Apr-13 10:48:30

Midget, sorry, I need some sleep, christening is ths Sat, not last Sat, zzzzzzz ! silly me. hope you have good weather !

10000Fireflies Thu 25-Apr-13 18:12:10

Hello my lovelies. Just a quick 'hi' again before I had off again.

Eagle the main advice you have already sussed - give them a drink on take off/landing to keep their ears from popping. Otherwise, I've found having a sling in hand luggage v helpful as there can be a lot of carrying of baby even though you can take buggy to gate. Depends who you fly with. You get gold star service with BA, if you're on your own, a hostess helps you on to plane, carrying all your shit essential baby equipment which has, by then spilled all over the place., and buggy waits for you as you step off plane. Easyjet variable, but has on the whole been pretty good. Better in Uk than Italy. They send buggy to carousel though at other end. Another top tip - I found DS gets pretty hot on plane, so this time I have some v cool trousers to change him into, as will be cooler day tomorrow outside, but still seems to get hot on plane.

I'm liking the antihistamine idea. Must research that sometime. I've heard it can help in extreme circumstances of wide-awakeness!! Calpol used to have have the same effect in the good old days.

We are selling a holiday home hence all the trips. Lots of bureaucracy has been holding it up and meaning multiple trips.

Midge hope the Christening goes well.

I think I might not be the only one who thinks sometimes, just sometimes, it's easier doing it all on your own.....

Been a beautiful day. Let DS play with his water bucket and duckies in garden. He got lovely and grubby and really enjoyed it. Time for tea. Will be back in the next week or so.

Love to all.

scarecrow22 Thu 25-Apr-13 19:09:10

where is that bad parent badge? can somebody pass it down the thread to chez Scarecrow? wad cooking supper tonight and heard a wail from T: DD wad trying to feed him her frozen peas confused

am tired today so feeling more vulnerable than usual and am a bit freaked at how quickly danger can befall us.

DH disappeared half way through Bed routine this eve. When I asked what he was doing he was copying some new CDs onto his iTunes account hmm hmm biscuit

blueblackdye Thu 25-Apr-13 19:28:37

Scarecrow, no bad mummy badge for you, I am sure this happens all the time and T is very clever, he cried to let you know something was happening ! Seriously, yes danger is very close but DD will learn to never, never, never give anything to T when you are not with her. Maybe she could be told that T can only have fluids. She is so young but she will get it quickly.
DH, well, they are full of surprises, aren't they ? Once I sent DH to get A back to sleep at nap time, 15 min later, I could hear her laughing : DH was playing with her !!!
FF, so no more holiday home ? are you sad ?
A is asleep, DS playing in his room, I have some work to do.

10000Fireflies Thu 25-Apr-13 19:52:30

Oh, some more travel top tips - dress baby in as dark a colour as possible in case of any mishaps. And one of these in hand luggage is brill.

BBD nope, not that sad. Over the moon. It has been a frigging financial drain, led to holidays where more housework was required than at home. I could go on. We have had some wonderful adventures there, so it's not all bad, and the house itself is awesome, but we are lucky to have a buyer, and I am looking forward to holidaying in other destinations. I was quite young and very naïve when we got into it.

OMG BBD, DH is forever doing stuff like that - playing with DS when he should be getting him to sleep or similar, or getting him up when he's lying contentedly in cot gurgling to self. V rare that too, and a moment to be treasured.

Scarecrow I don't think you are the one needing the bad parent badge. I'm going to knit some or something for all these naughty hubbies.

Really am going this time!! Got to pack. Arrghhghghghg. Hate it!!

eagleray Thu 25-Apr-13 20:51:08

BBD and FF thanks for the travel info - was defo planning to take a sling on the plane (got a Hana which is stretchy bamboo, but also going to hire a Connecta to take on hols) as don't completely trust Ryanair to hand over an intact pushchair on landing! I've got a folding changing mat I could take with me, which came with my very silly expensive changing bag that I bought in December when I had taken leave of my senses. It's a lovely bag, but made of a very stiff, unyielding oilcloth. The baby jogger doesn't take well to having bags hung off it, and it's a nightmare to get in the basket underneath, so most days I use my scruffy cheap rucksack instead.

That's a shame re your holiday home FF but great news that you've got a buyer. I've often fantasised about buying a place abroad, but your exeriences have confirmed what I really knew deep down!

Poor you Scarecrow not a bad parent in the slightest. Bless DD for trying to feed her baby brother though. And everything seems worse when you're tired. I'm beginning to get a bit panicky and start imagining all the awful things that could happen to Baby E but I guess it's a natural parent instinct thing. And your bloody DH - you have my sympathy as I have a similar one here.

And regarding it possibly being easier doing it on your own FF, I think there's some truth in that. DP was here last night and today I've had to clear away beer bottles, bits of food, clean the cooker all over again and so on. He did get Baby E to sleep though, so not all bad.

I had bloody Baby Clinic again today - god that place sucks the life out of you, doesn't it? We have dropped down the percentile chart yet again. Found myself mumbling away about how I was trying to feed Baby E enough, got some patronising comments from the HV, then I shuffled off home again. Seriously considering not going again as it makes me feel like shit. I just wanted to see one little improvement in her weight, that's all!

scarecrow22 Fri 26-Apr-13 02:16:20

eagle, sorry about baby clinic. My instincts told me some of the (sometimes) contradictory stuff they spouted was a bit rubbish last time : second time around it gets easier to ignore. It helped me to remember though that they mean very well and sincerely want to help look out of our babies.
a long preamble to saying I got out DD's Red book this week for her 2 yr development check (comedy gold which included her bleeding all over the drawing table while I heard myself blithely saying - oh don't worry she's had that cut for ages, it just keeps re opening :<<and the health visitors dialled in social services. again.>> Anyway, DD's weight fluctuated up and down the percentile chart. - not massively but visibly. She was then 50th percentile +/-; ad f Weds she is 98th for weight and height. I am not a Gina mum, but her Contented baby bok has some reassuring advice about feeding which you could add to your knowledge bank.

2 serious Qs from me:

1 When do babies sto pooling in the night?

2. can't remember no 2 now!

Midgetm Fri 26-Apr-13 09:39:18

Feeding So a rare moment of calm, posting by phone so can't check who said which bit but:

Yes yes to irritating DH. I love my husband and he is one of the good guys but still I need to tell him everything to do with the baby. It's partly my fault I know but sometimes it's is just easier to do it all yourself. But then I get all stroppy and resentful which ain't good either.

Baby clinic - as soon as weight is on the up I wouldn't go. They do mean well but babies don't always follow charts. As long as baby happy and healthy then that is what matters. U did go for an extended time with DD as she was very Low birth weight but declined politely with Midge. After the first couple of weeks of hysteria over him dropping weight I ignored them and went with my instincts. He is thriving and I've not lost hours weighing and being guilt tripped.

When do they stop poohing in the night? Quite early here I think def by 6 weeks but I think before.

FF - I am desperate for a place abroad and your words have damped my enthusiasm. For this I kiss you as I have been looking at it with rose coloured specs and a lack of practicality - I do that a lot.

Midge still has an awful rash in his face which won't be gone for tomorrow. I know it's shallow but it makes me sad. He is so bloody beautiful that it is a shame but I should be thankful it is minor and stop being shallow.

BBD - DH hates flying with kids. I don't mind it as long as short haul. Honest we aren't always going away - although it is my goal to get in as many holidays as poss whilst I am on mat leave - I have not achieved enough - must try harder.

Finished my bakeathon for the big day. Made 100 bloody macaroons (shudder) and a Sachertorte which I iced with his name but spelt it fucking wrong. TIRED! Anyway I know I have missed a lot - will have to post in stages on next feed. Big waves to all.

blueblackdye Fri 26-Apr-13 13:09:37

Oh no Midget, will you have to make a second Sachertorte ? Poor you. But at the same time, 2 tarts to eat , yum ! smile hope you get some rest and will be able to enjoy the event itself. Can I have a pic of master Midge in his christening outfit ? Might have a chance to see him eyes open this time !

Eagle, don't worry too much about weight chart, I know, it s easier said than done but if baby E is alert, lively, rosy, happy and has wet nappies, she should be fine. With DS I religiously weighed him every week the first 3 months (he cried a lot and I wasn't sure he had enough milk!) then every other week for another 3 months (to be sure he had enough milk and solids this time) and then once a month until he was 1. Nervous, anxious, not confident 1st time mum !!! A gets weighed every month after the first 6 or 7 weeks when I did it every week until I was sure that BF was good.

Scarecrow, weirdly I can't remember when they stop pooing at night, 6 to 8 weeks, I reckon.

Nap time for me too. Worked until midnight, then A woke up at 12.30 and DS nose bled at 6.30am, I want my 8 hours of non broken sleep back !!!

scarecrow22 Fri 26-Apr-13 19:13:30

I remember what question number 2 was: is it normal or at least okay that T has milk coming out of his nose when he winds or possets? Don't remember DD ever doing this...
sorry if sound paranoid!,

Hope all had good naps, feeds, whatever development stage we're ats. Goat, thinking of you ending another week at work. Midget, all fingers crossed for Sunday to be special.

blueblackdye Fri 26-Apr-13 19:21:38

Hum, Scarerow, never heard about that before, can you ask HV on the phone ? Does T do that everytime ? or does he do it only when he has had too much ? I'd ask. It happens sometimes with A when she gags and throws up but she looks fine and not bothered after so I guess it is ok.

ChairmanWow Fri 26-Apr-13 19:43:00

Oh gawd, too much to catch up on! DH back at work this week so it's been crazy chez Wow. DS has gone to bed, DH has taken baby W and I'm having a soak in the bath. Apols if I everyone mixed up. Knackered!

FF I really do think BF is claimed to be a cure-all/preventative for everything. Allergies can't be prevented. If your DC has a lactose intolerance it would have come out anyway when he/ she started drinking cows milk, as they all do at some point. Sorry, I can't remember your baby's gender.

somewhere I concur that painkillers are a necessary evil to get you through. There's no point in suffering needlessly. Pain is bad enough but pain + child care is a nightmare. I'm healing well now but am getting back pain too and feel a bit paranoid about the spinal block. Interesting to read knicky getting similar. Will this go away? If I take the kids put in the buggy for more than 10 mins it's really sore. Meh.

scarecrow belated thanks for the turbo trainer tip. TacX seems to be a popular brand. Good reviews for some models too. Just need to unpack the boxes in the spare room and recover a wee bit more. Might paint a mural of the Alpe D'Huez or Mont Ventoux on the wall and pretend to be Bradley Wiggins. Might need Lance Armstrong to get me some drugs though - it's going to be hard work!

On the subject of health and fitness I met a friend this afternoon who is doing that 5:2 diet thingy and has lost half a stone in 3 weeks. She looks amazing. Am going to give it a try when I'm ready. The idea of only dieting 2 days a week definitely appeals!

Which leads me on to my breastfeeding woes (sort of) as I won't be relying on that to lose weight. I stopped trying as of today. Despite 4 weeks of effort DD just wouldn't latch any more, not even with nipple shields. It got to the point where she was screaming and flailing her arms round if I even tried and both of us were crying. A horrible, demoralising experience. She's a very clingy baby at the moment and won't be put down so I haven't been able to express apart from evening time and night or very early morning. My supply has dwindled even with Domperidone - 3 or 4 sessions to get less than a full feed, and a knackered and fed up mum. I'm gutted, and really jealous of those who succeed but it's just not sustainable for such a puny amount of milk. But I feel less tired today from not sitting there in the night expressing, and DD has seemed a bit more contented too - no stress at feeding time, i guess. I haven't felt engorged either so there really wasn't much there. Sorry this is so long. Needed to share.

Anyway, listen, why don't we in the snug club together and buy FF's holiday home. It could be our new snug. We could bring the waiters over from the pregnancy thread (my personal waiter will be Michael Fassbender). Supernanny could run a kids' club and we can sit around by the pool drinking our favourite cocktails. Blackberry martini for me please. Though I might need a few months on the turbo trainer with Lance's drugs before I'm willing to be seen in swimwear.

MrsWooster Fri 26-Apr-13 20:36:06

Hi all. It's hard work, this parenting lark... Sorry to hear about the bf chair but envy you the certainty of knowing what baby chair has had and also being able to share the burden feeding. We've got tit thrush here, which has been absolutely excruciating and is lingering. It's def taken joy out of it. Also now on mega antibiotics as have retained placenta- five weeks on. There's a sodding conspiracy to keep me on diabetes diet for ever, as DD is colicky already so I'm on a combo low GI and 'nursery' diet. This too will pass.

scarecrow22 Fri 26-Apr-13 21:41:13

goodness MrsW, two awful experiences. You poor thing. I do hope you are at turning point and are being looked after. Please take care.

Chair, we're going to Alpe d'Huez for summer hols. Fellow Tour fans? Can we employ Henson Button to train us for tris, gen fitness? I would find that inspiring wink
it wasn't me with good advice on turbo trainer, but I'm happy to take the credit ( from Eagle, I think). You were close though as was watching your dialogue with interest as am interested in same.

bBD - it is most if not all feeds. Will take him to weigh clinic next week and ask. Not distressing, but want sure nit a sign of some plumbing problem. Thanks.

Midgetm Fri 26-Apr-13 21:44:00

Runs in to bear hug
Mrs W. I have been unfortunate enough to have both tit thrush and retained placenta but not at the same time. That sucks lady.

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