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Further freakingly fantabulous adventures of the 40+ Mummies

(1000 Posts)
10000Fireflies Thu 17-Jan-13 20:13:44

For gorgeous, frolicking and fabulous 40-somethings to share the joys of becoming a Mummy, just a little bit later than most!! grin. Park your zimmer-frame next to your baby buggy, put your feet up, and come and join us in the snug.

bytheseaside Tue 16-Apr-13 19:08:12

ps am starting diet too. Did not get off to good start with 2 cakes today.Plan is no particular plan, just cutting right down on sugar, staying off alcohol and red meat, loads of fruit, veg, chicken, fish and some complex carbs. Cake is going to be my weekness - its seen me through the first 7 months!

blueblackdye Tue 16-Apr-13 19:26:35

Oh sorry to hear that Baby G and S are poorly, hope they feel better soon and Mums can have a rest. Goat, the first year of DS at nursery, he had a cold every other week, I have never spent so much time at GPs'
On iPhone, can't really scroll back. But it is lovely to have all of you back, I m missing VQ too. LRM has been very quiet too lately, hope all is well. Wonder if FF has started her secret plan yet. Fjord has used shields as well, she would have some info to share with Chairman.
NB Don't want to be the sage, they are boring.... Maybe it is the Asian side that is taking over with age !!!
First evening on my own with the 2 monkeys, out of 12. I will need support smile
Hugs to all

scarecrow22 Tue 16-Apr-13 20:18:30

BBD sages are wise and beautiful (inside and out( and a little but mysterious or exotic (help me here SBR)...we all mean it as the liveliest compliment. But don't feel you have to be strong all the time smile

Goat also sending get well cuddles to BG and hope work understanding (though when DC health involved I give not a fig roll what work think).

SBR - babySC basically opens his eyes, suggests then demands food (a transition process so quick it is being studied by the CERN labs as a new dimension of time) feeds lazily slowly savouring the experience for 30-60+ mins, looks at me, thinks better of it, goes to sleep for approx 2 hours and begins the cycle again. in a moment of triumph I photographed him with an eye open yesterday wink He still manages to be perfect and munchy and soft, obviously. I don't remember DD being "awake" so little ex boobs, but maybe I've simply forgotten, or maybe it's being a bit early? Did you really mean to post babySBR was awake for 7 hours?? I'm guessing not, but if so hmm shock sad ??!

scarecrow22 Tue 16-Apr-13 20:22:02

oh, and we need a bulk pack if honors in the snug if anybody is doing an Ocado (more affordable in virtual realm smile ) order. They are the food of the bf Gods

scarecrow22 Tue 16-Apr-13 20:22:37

HobNobs, not bloomin' honours

blueblackdye Wed 17-Apr-13 09:17:13

Scarecrow, thank you ! In that case, Yoda is my name !
Last night has been difficult, A has woken up every 2 hours, we have been having that for a week now. Can't tell why, need to look at her day pattern to find out.
Goar, how is Baby G today ?
Oh A started crawling, but she goes backwards! She is also very chatty and smiley. She wants to stand all the timeand stretches her arms to be pickep up!

somewherebecomingrain Wed 17-Apr-13 19:56:34

bbd you just say some very reassuring stuff. Sorry A waking up every 2 hours - it's such an awful strain. I hope she goes back down quick - the other crucial variable. It will pass as mrs w says.

scarecrow yes 7 hours. But then it zoomed down to 2 then 5 then 7 then after cutting caffeine, 5 Or 6. But she's a week ahead of T. Already wishing that sleeping phase would last a bit longer! Ah he sounds sweet!

seaside thanks for welcome! I have also lost fight today against flab as was caring for two and making a rich chocolate cake proved essential in keeping my ds busy , content and away from the telly. Are you bf? It makes cake seem inevitable, nay essential, in a way I've never experienced at any other time. Can't imagine doing any kind of fast as planned.

AFM ... Gotta go baby waking! Xxxx

scarecrow22 Wed 17-Apr-13 20:09:31

Is it just me who would not dream of dieting while bf? Am I making excuses? Who knows the advice? Healthier eating (v much poss though apart from hobnobs and the odd chocolate still much prefer a cheese sandwich, preferably with a slather of butter) yes, but actual dieting? I would worry milk would be less rich, so T would not be as settled etc... Genuinely interested as realise LRM is the Fab 40s' Green Goddess or whatever she was called. Tbh found last time remaining weight came off after stopped breast feeding, as if body just let it go. Though dropping from a G/H cup back to a B/C might have helped too!

GoatBongosAnonymous Wed 17-Apr-13 20:26:41

Meh, haven't been to work since Monday. BG still not a happy nappy chappy but at least has stopped puking on the whole. Spent age today just lying with his head on my shoulder - not the slightest bit usual. Although he made up for it afterwards by demonstrating his new-found climbing skills hmm Time for everything to go up five shelves! Grandma is coming tomorrow to look after him, as I really really have to go in to work. I shall hav to warn her!
How are the c-section ladies?
Aw, bbd I just love the arms up. Makes up for the middle of the night wakings.
Re gender stereotyping, it's not just those with two LOs who think about this! Gender studies was a big part of my PhD and I have to say I notice what I say/do quite a lot! Lots to think about...
More later. I hear squeaking from upstairs.

MrsWooster Wed 17-Apr-13 20:40:39

Diet no, better eating yes- which uncludes quantities of lovely butter as it slows down carb absorption AND IT'S LUSH!

blueblackdye Wed 17-Apr-13 22:12:13

Agree with MrsW, during BF, I would be concerned too of not getting enough good stuff through milk, better eating definitively yes. And the habit might stay, who knows ! It does not mean one can't allow a treat from time to time. And keep in mind that alcohol when broken down by our metabolism is a form of sugar.
AFM, I have lost interest on cooking and food since I started cooking for DS to share with us, no salt, no stock, no chili.... I know, I could put aside a portion for him and add all these in ours but then freezing would be a nightmare. I have to learn how to use spice better.
I have lost almost all pg weight, 1st and 2nd pgs, only 0.4kg left to lose. But my belly is still wobbly sad and can't really exercise due to weak pelvic floor. Guess I will have to live with it ! But tbh, I find myself very skinny and it does not look nice. My arms are like chicken wings, yuk.
Oh oh Goat, climbing ! And soon, cruising ! Happy days ahead ! A rolls front to back and managed to reach some wires in the study where she was playing on the floor while I worked, very glad I noticed it otherwise she would have unplugged my PC ! Playpen, anyone ? We might get a discount if we place a big order !
SBR, 7 hours awake ! Do you know if birth weight has an impact ? I remember reading that when babies are over 5.5kg (usualy around 3/4 months) their stomach is big enough to have stock to allow them to sleep through the night. Maybe that also means they can stay awake longer ? I don't know, just a thought, certainly silly smile
Day 2 in single motherhood, DS has been brilliant, obedient, answered yes Mummy to every thing but then went to hide in his IKEA circus tent when it was bedtime, took only 2 minutes to convince him to go back in his bed though. A has a cold, again. I can hear her breathing with a runny nose, hope I won't need to clean it in the middle of the night, because that will definitively wake her up big time...
Wish VQ were here. She has 2 DDs with 4 years age gap and her DS is only 2 y younger than DD2, she would have the answers for all of us !!!
Seaside, is baby S feeling better today ?
Midget, I did not get the place at the Catholic school but had my third choice, so it is not too bad. The main drawback between my second and third choice was distance from home, which is not a big deal.
Big big big riot at DS nursery, lots of unhappy parents during parents meeting this afternoon. I was the only one who was satisfied by the care given to DS, I hope I won't get eggs thrown at me in the future for saying I was. But some of their requests seemed to me very unreasonnable i.e moving a child up with his friend on the week he turned 2 ! What if his friend only turns 2 a few months later ? What if his friend has not reached the same stage of development ? Why make the change on the week he turns 2, the reply nailed me down on my chair: because the curriculum is very different and I don't want my child to miss out. Does the competition have to start that early ? Or am I naive or too optimistic ?
Oups, I can hear cries upstairs.... Have a good night every one

Midgetm Thu 18-Apr-13 00:27:20

Evening all. I've been making ikea furniture all evening. Back now so sore - too old for this Shenanigans. Dieting when breastfeeding is fine. As long as you do it sensibly and wait until your supply is well established, even better to wait till they are beginning to get nutrients from food too. The mother is much more likely to miss out on nutrients than the baby. Fasting is less good - I shall keep an eye and see if it affects midge - studies seem to show fasting for a short period is fine - many religions do it. Fasting for long periods though affects nutrients in milk so not good. Slimming world and WW both good for breastfeeding. I just think it is unhealthy to be too overweight - regardless of the reason so want shot of it. Weight loss that is too fast isn't good though (never had that problem though!). I used feeding as an excuse for too long last time and want to have the weight gone by a year post baby. I think this is considered a reasonable time scale by all the HCP's I've spoken too.

I was thinking of you today BBD and hoping you got your school. I am glad you are fairly happy with your allocation - London placements at w such a bun fight. I love the idea of you bring Yoda - I also think it is a big compliment and it suits you down to the ground. Right must sleep. Still have to put doors on one more bloody flat pack first thing - I should have paid someone - I am rubbish at flat pack.

blueblackdye Thu 18-Apr-13 06:54:49

Midget, lets go for a spa and massage ! My back is killing me too since we lowered the cot down to the lowest position....
A has a nose full of green stuff, I really deserve the bad Mum badge, I can't believe I let that happen when she just got over the other cold....

scarecrow22 Thu 18-Apr-13 07:37:25

MrsW, butter as a health food smile Thank you!
though actually I also tell myself it is a health choice because if the ingredients in marg... the power of self delusion smile

okay night though must learn to go to bed earlier. And T squirted poo into or around 4 nappies, my hand, a muslin, the change mat, the carpet and possibly other places but was too flipping tired to care at 4am. At least u know that bit if him works hmm
re gender I find it too easy to impose stereo-types, like thinking "typical boy" about pooing thing. Or when DD dies something lavetorial, to sat "that's not very lady-like". Even though I know they are not gender least not as tinies.
Chair - what was your PhD in? Do you find having DC reignited interest, questions, etc? Did you - or do you - use it directly for work? If you don't mind saying, that is. if BBD us the sage, you can be the Prof wink

scarecrow22 Thu 18-Apr-13 07:56:32

how are rest of my birth cohort doing? Knicks, Mrs W, Chair, SBR? Sleep? siblings? Hormones?

ChairmanWow Thu 18-Apr-13 19:43:18

scarecrow I have neither the intelligence nor the dedication to achieve a PHD. Though Dr Chairman Wow has a certain ring to it... I think you've got me mixed up with someone way brighter. I've got a crap degree though grin

I typed a massive message yesterday but forgot to hit 'submit'. Buggery bollocks. So, forgive me if this is all a bit stream of consciousness. I'm on my phone and can't keep scrolling so I can namecheck. Sorry!

goat I hope you're over the worse baby ilness-wise an have a nice manager. Good luck with return to work mark II next week. I hope you're broken back in gently.

Re us, DS is adjusting fairly well. He's really nice to his sister. The difficult part is that he's more clingy and is quite demanding if one of us is holding or feeding her, but he likes helping and I give him little tasks to divert his attention. He helped me bath her earlier and was so gentle. I am really proud of him. The tantrums are calming a bit too. I think it's cos we don't have a houseful of decorators, plumbers etc any more so he's more settled. Also I'm feeling loads better and can be more hands on again so he's happier. In some ways the months of PGP have helped as he's got used to be not being able to lift or carry him and now I'm getting stronger i can start to do the things i used to, so he's kind of got his mum back ifkwim.

Baby Wow is doing well sleep-wise. Sorry if this pisses off any of our cohort, but she's going 2 1/2 to 3 hours between feeds and just guzzles and goes straight back to sleep. DS was the same. <ducks>. You can however feel smug re the breastfeeding. Even with nipple shields she just refuses to latch and screams, shakes her head and flails her arms or just falls asleep when I try. The Domperidone has only marginally increased my supply too. I'm afraid our days are numbered. Will try for a few more days to get her latched, but beyond that I'll try and pump when I get the time (prob only a couple of times a day) and that's it. I don't have the time to sit there feeding and expressing all day. Once DS is around more in a few weeks I'm knocking it completely on the head unless I can miraculously get her latch sorted. She can do it and has been checked for tongue tie, she's just amazingly hungry and impatient and I don't produce enough to keep her happy.

Hope the other new mums are copingand babies are behaving.

scarecrow22 Thu 18-Apr-13 21:06:59

Apologies, Dr GoatsBongoAnon it should have been. Chairman is honour enough, anyhows smile

So glad babyChair doing well, and DS sounds adorable. Sorry about BF, though it sounds like you have a healthily pragmatic approach to what is best for you all as a unit. And an expressed feed is worth six breast feeds or more as expressing is so hideous, apart from doubling time to feed, or more. And don't duck - it would be a different thread if we were anything other than delighted for you. If you look smug we can just make you duty night nurse for all the other babies wink

somewherebecomingrain Fri 19-Apr-13 11:24:50

Yes chair don't apologise - its great and gives us something to believe in/aspire to. Baby somewhere sleeping alright too, but I fear it won't last. There have been a couple of bad nights.

Your ds sounds lovely. Going to get mine to help with the bath too - what a good idea.


knickyknocks Fri 19-Apr-13 15:54:20

chair not smug at all!! Think it's fab - gives me hope that baby KK might do likewise at some point soon. Speaking of which he's doing OK, though he's very colic-y between the hours of 6pm and 8pm, bang on time to coincide with DD's bathtime. The guilt is awful of DD sitting in the bath whilst I'm trying to deal with DS screaming.

Have arranged for my mum to pop over next week - at the very least she can take baby KK downstairs and hold him whilst he screams, and I can read a book to DD.

Sleep wise he tends to get up every 2 to 3 hours - sometimes a little more depending on how well he's napped during the day. Speaking of which generally he will still have a long nap in the afternoon and I don't need to hold him which is a marked improvement from when DD was a baby.

Ooh, yes and he passed his hearing test which is good news!

Other than that no news - except I'm hearing from a friend at work that all is not happy there. My job looks again under threat. I suspect I will have a job to go back to, but it won't be a job that I want to do. Have already started to have a look around to see what else there is. Thank goodness wasn't thinking of heading back till early next year in any case.

DH and DD in kitchen at the moment making chocolate muffins. Took DS for a long walk this morning which must mean I deserve one?? Keeping a close eye on the weight loss chat - still got about three-quarters of a stone to go, but need to start exercising to get rid of it I suspect - and piles are still playing up which means it's all a little frustrating when it comes to exercise. Sorry - chat about piles is never welcome!

Have to go DD has just come in insisting on sitting on my lap which will make MNing impossible. Hello and waves to all.

blueblackdye Fri 19-Apr-13 15:57:01

Brilliant news, Knicky re hearing test.

ChairmanWow Fri 19-Apr-13 17:16:27

Really pleased to hear about the hearing test. Hope your mum can help you out.

envy at 3/4 of a stone though. I've got more like 3 stone from 2 lazy pregnancies. Swap ya!

somewherebecomingrain Fri 19-Apr-13 19:07:43

Brilliant re hearing * knicky*!!! You are already putting them both to bed yourself? Hats off. So the logistics are leave baby in crib? How exactly does it work?

Re weight I'm a quarter o f a stone less than when I first got pg. still overweight. But today comfortably fitted in to pre preg jeans. This s not my normal story and reflects the stress I've had.

midget I feel it is safe for baby to fast during bf but I fear I'll find it too hard. Hope you've been taking it easy on the flat pack front.

Today started so well for me (jeans) but then got cabin fever and felt wretched. just me baby s and 4 walls. the internet got boring. the newspaper was worrying. ate tonnes of biscuits. Got friends coming over at weekend so that's good. Must go out basically- will do ASAP.

blueblackdye Fri 19-Apr-13 22:26:29

Knicky, a friend of mine was offered a compromise agreement when she came back from mat leave and her job did not exist anymore and the only thing they could offer was a less skilled job... She got away with a year's salary, lucky her. Don't worry too much now, enjoy your mat leave and qui sera verra !
Day 4, feeling exhausted, A coughs so much that she throws up, especially when having her evening feed, chokes on the fluid, coughs and all comes out. Wonder if I should adopt a different position for bf ? Any ideas ?

knickyknocks Sat 20-Apr-13 09:12:12

BBD a year's salary? Wouldn't mind too much if that happened to me. You're quite right though, not worth worrying myself silly now. What will be will be. In any case DD will be going to school in Sept 2014, so we'll need to re-look at my hours then. A new job may be my only choice at that point. Wish I could offer some help re A and her evening feed, but not being a bfeeder means I'm not able to help - lots of bfeeders on here so hopefully you'll get a few ideas re positioning.
somewhere although lovely that you're back in your pre-pregnancy jeans, it's rotten to hear that it's been stress that has made you reach that point sad. How is your mum doing? So sorry it's been so long since last asking.
As for the bed and bath 'routine' it's all gone to pot rather with a very unhappy baby in the early evening. But...DD has a bath around 5.45, then she comes downstairs in her pyjamas and I plant her in front of cbeebies. Meanwhile DS has milk around this time and at this point in the day I try to settle him for a nap. This can take up to an hour. Once I've done this, it means I can read books to DD without a screaming baby. I used to give DD a bath around 6.30 but it just hasn't worked. Cbeebies is my babysitter for now (makes me wonder how people coped before cbeebies was available?!)

In fact all of this makes me wonder about older generations - my grandma died in 1991, and she had twins in 1938 (my mum and auntie), lived in Pimlico and Grandad was in the Navy during the war. No dishwasher, washing machine, tumble dryer, disposable nappies or anything of the sort. she chose to stay in London throughout the war, and had to go to the shelter most nights during the blitz with her two young babies. I wish she were alive now so I could ask her how on earth she managed it all. Rather puts into perspective any feelings I have of being a mum in did they manage??

Off for a coffee in town - the sun is out here, and life feels pretty good. Hope you're all having a lovely weekend where you are XX

GoatBongosAnonymous Sun 21-Apr-13 06:33:36

Sorry, and just running in for a self-indulgent rant. I have definitely turned into the witch from hell in the Goat household at present. DH caught what BG has had so has been miserable in bed for 2 and a 1/2 days. Poor thing has been really ill. Not helped by me being ultra grumpy and prickly. I am so tired. Back at work and doing all nights and evening shifts. And BG is still not right so is waking a lot in discomfort or for a feed as he can't take much at once still so isn't having his usual during the day. I have just given up and brought him in with me. Like so many on this thread, I. Need. Sleep.efinitely the witch from hell in the Goat household at present. DH caught what BG has had so has been miserable in bed for 2 and a 1/2 days. Poor thing has been really ill. Not helped by me being ultra grumpy and prickly. I am so tired. Back at work and doing all nights and evening shifts. And BG is still not right so is waking a lot in discomfort or for a feed as he can't take much at once still so isn't having his usual during the day. I have just given up and brought him in with me. I. Need. Sleep.
How are you surviving single parenthood bbd? I couldn't do two weeks, I admire you!
I shall emerge from my navel-gazing soon and converse properly with everyone! (Including on PhDs scarecrow...)

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