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Further freakingly fantabulous adventures of the 40+ Mummies

(1000 Posts)
10000Fireflies Thu 17-Jan-13 20:13:44

For gorgeous, frolicking and fabulous 40-somethings to share the joys of becoming a Mummy, just a little bit later than most!! grin. Park your zimmer-frame next to your baby buggy, put your feet up, and come and join us in the snug.

GoatBongosAnonymous Sun 24-Mar-13 20:47:47

Just dashing in quickly before getting some sleep while BG lets me.
Welcome knicky ! Lovely to see you here. All the best for recovering and healing, and enjoying your wonderful newborn DS. We will make the sofa in the snug extra snuggly and comfortable for the two of you.
Red velvet cake is cake that is red. To me it has to be chocolate cake that is red. Midget?
The inventor of the jumperoo requires canonisation. BG loves it and it is the only way I can get anything else done go to the loo knowing he is safe. Especially as he is now crawling for England and has discovered how fun it is to upend pot plants/remove DVDs from shelves/attempt to climb on sofa etc etc.

So when does the extra mobility knacker him out so much he sleeps at night?

blueblackdye Sun 24-Mar-13 21:57:30

will be back very soon, a bit manic atm at home, trying to do 10 million things at the same time....
thinking of you all and reading if not posting
welcome knicky ! hope you get some sleep Goat. wlel done on the Mercedes Midget. Hi seaside ! Eagle, hope you are better. Waves to all, VQ, FF, Knotty, Somewhere, Scarecrow, BadMissM.... hope I have not forgotten any one.

Midgetm Sun 24-Mar-13 23:28:56

Congratulations Knicky and welcome to the snug. I will fetch some Ice and morphine to help with the swollen fanjo.

littleredmonkey Mon 25-Mar-13 07:05:06

Knicky. Welcome lovely to see u honey and how exciting you have brought a bundle of joy. Baby k. Morphine and ice as midget says sounds good. Make a nice cocktail some evenings.
Hugs to all today. Bloody freezing. Eagle hope you are feeling better twinkle. Midget cake sounds fab could eat a slice right now. Bbh dont you over do it mate. Large glass of wine for you.

blueblackdye Mon 25-Mar-13 07:39:34

Hey LRM, I am overdoing it already as I managed to forget saying hello to you last night..... Sorry
I was writing my freelance contract, statement of work during the week end, then said good bye to my American friends, played with DCs and rearranged furniture in the living room so that there is a nursery play space for when my baby sitter comes with her baby to look after A while I work. It now looks very cool tbh !
Off to feef a hungry baby

blueblackdye Mon 25-Mar-13 07:39:54

Feed a hungry baby

blueblackdye Mon 25-Mar-13 15:40:52

Knicky,happy birthday !

bytheseaside Mon 25-Mar-13 18:45:32

happy birthday knicky how is your little bundle? hope baboon bum on its way out

bbd so busy! i managed to grab a shower, potter into town for a walk, and feel quite proud. also had breakfast smile

eagle sorry it is so rough - ill and sleep deprived is just awful. drink lots!

goat good to know jumperoo lasts past crawling stage. am on lookout for a bargain over easter bank hols. any sleep this week?

lrm hows napping today? did you venture out?

midget tell me what you are having for tea and i will pretend im at you house when we have our ham sandwiches ...

littleredmonkey Mon 25-Mar-13 19:51:43

Happy birthday knicky. Any name yet for baby k
Oh eagle what did u name your little one? If u have said sorry. How ya feeling?
Bythesea. Naps hmmmm. Taken a wee turn for the worse. He has learnt that when I cuddle him to sleep and he wakes up when put down u will pick him up again. On Saturday I was desperate for him to nap and tried twice to put him down he cried both times so I walked around for 35mins holding him. He is 18 lbs so my arms ached :'( He went down ok this morning. I took him to the docs as he has red little bumps on his chest neck and legs. They are slightly raised not sore. Feeding fine sleeping at night for 12 hours waking once so fine there. Interacting fine. Doc said keep an eye on him. Any ideas ladies. I thought allergy to food I have given him. Doc says not. I will take him back Wednesday if still there. Oh yeh naps sorry. Took him to get weighed came home had lunch next nap in his pram as I went to the post office. Nervous about starting controlled crying next week with dp. Dylan needs to self settle in the day. Hv could not understand he does it at night not in the day. Random baby. Bless him

GoatBongosAnonymous Mon 25-Mar-13 20:29:31

Random is synonymous with baby I think! A bit more sleep last couple of nights though that is not saying much yet.

Happy birthday knicky! And happy nether region recovery.

Red velvet cake made. A bit meh though DH scoffed two slices.

BG taken to gp, all fine. So bad sleep is just bad sleep. Went to childminder for trial day today, maybe that will wear him out?

eagleray Mon 25-Mar-13 20:53:22

Hope you've had a lovely day Knicky - sending you a virtual morphine and ice cocktail for your sore bits

LRM - sorry to hear your sleeping problems with Dylan continue - how frustrating. No advice from me I'm afraid, but I'm finding myself that what works a treat one day fails miserably the next! I will PM you the baby name - it's little-used so thought it best to keep it off here!

Goat - how did trial day go with CM? I'm still weighing up pros and cons of CM vs nursery

Seaside - great you had nice productive day (any day that includes a shower AND leaving the house is productive in my eyes)

BBD - wow you have been busy - are you looking forward to starting back in the world of work?

Midget - your car sounds great. I bought a new(ish) car just before Baby E's arrival and thought it was huge, but it's fairly rubbish for storage really. It's nice and comfy for driving around in when I'm trying to get some peace and quiet from Baby E though.

Scarecrow - your advice regarding napping is beginning to make sense to me as I get to understand Baby E's patterns (up until now there's been no routine and I'm clueless as to what to expect). Hope you're having a nice restful time at home - not long before the due date spotlight is turned onto you smile

Today has been a momentous day because I managed to get up at 11am, get dressed and survive the day! Still feel week and coughing like crazy but starting to feel vaguely normal again. Just as well really, as DM was supposed to be coming to stay today for a few days to help out and she texted this morning to say she couldn't come after all as she was busy...

Baby Eagle hates the swing today (put her in it when I opened a letter telling me I had defaulted on my VAT payments and so realised I was going to have to get on with some paperwork fairly pronto). I guess today wasn't a swing day in her eyes and tomorrow she will love it

We've got 8 week jabs first thing tomorrow - what can I expect? Hope she isn't too badly affected by it. It's going to be quite a challenge getting to the surgery for 9am...

GoatBongosAnonymous Mon 25-Mar-13 22:56:51

Wow, 8 weeks already, eagle ! BG didn't even particularly notice the jabs...uttered at me for a couple of seconds then went to sleep! I think I helps if you can bf either during or immediately after.
CM was great. She is lovely and BG really likes her. He is also just a little young for real separation anxiety so hopefully this will be a smooth transition.
Lrm hope the sleep is improving.

GoatBongosAnonymous Mon 25-Mar-13 22:57:59

Sorry for typos. Knackered. Please translate.

scarecrow22 Tue 26-Mar-13 08:36:47

Ooh Eagle maybe don't BF during. Maybe I'm a wuss but didn't want DD to associate BF with the pain/shock whatever. I BF after - though like BG she was not too fussed, except third lot, partic second jab in same leg. I think she thought she should have made more fuss before to stop this happening and wailed indignant betrayal x 3!!
I promise most LOs find it easier than we fear x

scarecrow22 Tue 26-Mar-13 08:53:04

One more thing Eagle, wouldn't do CC however lite at 8 weeks! I'm afraid I was v laissez faire earlier - I did Baby Whisperer lite at some point as a friend recommended it (initially for the surprisingly interesting "test" of what sort of baby you have - angel/textbook/spirited/othersICantRemember: most are a dominant character with a bit of another thrown in; advice then tailored a little for diff types). I found advice about looking for and encouraging patterns of Eat-Activity-Sleep-(Your-time) (known as EASY) most intuitive, and gradually working with baby to extend tem until 3 hrs between feeds, later 4 hours. There is no timetable, lots of good gentle advice and a fantastic support website mostly run by fellow BW-mums helping each other, with some more experienced moderators.
I hope this counteracts monstrous impression of last CC post or I might be put in the far corner of the snugblush
Oh and DPs do say the crassest things. You stay in bed til properly better and ignore him!

scarecrow22 Tue 26-Mar-13 08:56:08

(PS not saying you can't do what you want at 8wks, just don't want you to think it's the only way. Okay I'm getting into a jumble of paranoia so will leave off all advice for a bit!)

knickyknocks Tue 26-Mar-13 09:00:12

Thank you so much for the lovely birthday wishes. I was spolit by DD and DH, and have been given some money towards a pamper day - determined to get my hair back under control. I look as if I've lived in the amazon for the past 9 months. No amount of GHD straighteners or frizz ease will sort this barnet out in a hurry grin.

eagle seem to recall DD was fairly nonchalent about the jabs. I was more worried than I needed to be, there were no side effects to note, and i'm not sure which jabs they were, but there was one set she didn't even whimper a complaint. As scarecrow says, LOs do find it easier than we fear.

Baby KK is called Luke (piccy on profile). He had his first screaming fit last night, lasted pretty much 7.30-11.30. Lovely. He kept wanting to cluster feed, burp, then fall asleep - but wouldn't stay asleep, so we went through the same thing several times over. Plus nappy changes in-between. He was then up twice to feed at 1 and 3ish, so am fairly done in today. Every day is different at this stage so know it could be all change tonight or not as the case may be.

I'm now bottle feeding - a couple of reasons - Baby KK has struggled to latch like his sister and I've got a UTI following catheters and people messing around down at the business end. Stings like a beast. Allergic to penicllin so there's very little choice when it comes to antibiotics. The UTI has made me feel lousy, along with the stitches and piles. DS latched like a dream when first born, but it has gradually got more difficult. I had the same issue with DD that I've decided this time with DS I'm just going to go with the flow. Still feel a little regretful, but what's parenthood without a bit of guilt thrown in?? For my own sanity (however selfish that may be) it's the right decision (you can probably tell I'm still trying to make my peace with it because I still somehow feel like I've failed him sad)

blueblackdye Tue 26-Mar-13 10:34:38

Eagle, Scarecrow, re CC, I just wanted to say that external reasons have pushed me in doing it, otherwise I would have been very happy to keep on BFing to sleep ! The first time I trained A was when I was on my own with DS at my Mum's who is too old to look after either baby A or 4 yo DS, I had to make sure she was sleeping by 7pm so that I could spend an hour with DS and then get him to sleep from 8pm to 7.30 am as French school started at 8.30. A was quite happy actually and slept through the night quite quickly from 3 months to 6 months. Then everything went out of the window when I started solid. I reckon because I gave her food at 11.30 and 5.30pm so when at 12.30 and 6.30pm respectively, I put her on the breast she was too exhausted to take a full feed and fell asleep on the breast, consequently she would wake up an hour or so later screaming for a feed, and fell asleep again... Then because she fed at night, she would sleep late in the morning and skipped her morning nap... all the EASY very nice routine was broken... The vicious circle started then... It took me 2 months to get a wake up call that this should stop for her own sake and my sanity 1/ baby needs sleep to develop their brain and thrive 2/ routine is good, clear rules are important, seeing DS behaving much more in the evening made me rethink the whole parenting thing 3/ if I need to go to the office from time to time she needs to be able to fall asleep by herself for my peace of mind 4/ when she goes to nursery, nobody will rock her to sleep... Then LRM mentioned it and she gave me the strength to try again. Actually it was easier than I feared. I went back to the basics of BW: observe, check tiredness signs, routine, put baby down with confidence (thank you Scarecrow for this advice) and it seems to be working. The proof is right in front of you: I have the Me Time of the EASY philosophy ! 1st day was heart breaking, 2nd day was perfect, every 2.15/2.30 hours, A would rub her eyes, sign for me to get her ready for her nap. She still sleeps only 35/45 min at each nap, mid morning, after lunch and 3.30pm but it is good enough for me. DH could not believe he could put her down too but he did over the week end. She wakes up around 11pm for a last feed and sleep until around 7am then following morning. DH will be away in Asia for 2 weeks at the end of April, knowing that I can reach a fairly smooth day with both DCs gives me confidence and takes away a little bit of the stress. As I said before, it is still early days and things can change very quickly with these little treasures but it is achievable. Had I not had all these deadlines, I would still be nursing to sleep without second thoughts. And I also have to say I am blessed to have such a mellow baby. DS is Spirited but clear and firm rules work well for him. I guess no baby is similar to another one, we Mum just need to find what works.
And this makes a very good transition to bottle feeding. Knicky, please don't feel guilty, don't think you failed baby KK, lots of bottle fed babies are healthy and thriving. If Bottle feeding works for you and baby KK then don't beat yourself up, be happy, he will feel it too and be happy with it. Happy baby, happy Mum. You are staying right in the centre of our snug with me bringing tea and cakes to you ! smile
Eagle, 8 weeks already ! Waouh ! I hope you feel better today. And Baby E has not been traumatised with her jabs this morning. Lots of cuddles, BF and maybe Calpol (although I never had to give some to any of my babies after their jabs) and she will be fine.
Time now for me to play with my contended little princess.
Waves to all.

eagleray Tue 26-Mar-13 10:41:06

Phew - back from immunisation appt - hell of a rush to get DD fed, changed and out the door (and just about remembered to get dressed myself). It was all over very quickly and not long after we got back she passed out fast asleep (so no chance for BF!) so let's see how she is over the next few hours.

Scarecrow - please don't get paranoid re your advice smile I was really just trying to understand and take it in for a bit later on. I think I'm finding the naps are shorter at the moment as I'm not able to get out and about due to lack of energy. If we were out with the pram or sling she would probably sleep for the duration but at home she's just not sleeping for as long. I have also realised she's at the stage now where she's starting to do activity stuff. Yesterday while she was on the changing mat I gave her her v posh rattle to hold (it's a hand-carved wooden one with bells inside from my godmother) and she loved it.

Knicky - please, please don't beat yourself up re the BF. I think I'm mentally scarred by the BF drama we've had since DD was born and I do wonder if it's been worth it. You are wounded and in pain and life needs to be made as easy as possible for you. You are right, there are opportunities for guilt over everything, but just enjoy gorgeous little Luke and concentrate on recovering flowers By the way, have you got a bottle of witch hazel to annoint yourself with?

bytheseaside Tue 26-Mar-13 12:20:47

knicky lovely name, and please no guilt about bf - you have to do what you have to do to get that baby fed! even just doing the first couple of days has given him a lovely start in life and some tender memories for you. best of luck with undercarriage. i'm so glad i had cs ;)

scarecrow and bbd im reading all advice avidly, feel we need to take routine in hand with our little night-owl-feed-to-sleeper-velcrod-to-mummy-baby. or do we? don't know what to do! but 6 months of this has been quite an effort, and have had very, very little alone time. just a few evenings would be great ... but then i love all the cuddles and waking up with her, so i think im an enabler blush

eagle glad injections went well! baby seaside had a delayed reaction 24 hours later, which went on for a few weeks shock if this happens to baby e, dont wait weeks like me, get yourself off to a good baby osteopath, who will be magic! happened next two times too, but i was prepared and had appointments booked ready ...

goat i need to talk to you about going back to work to gee me up, ive started to have nightmares about it ... so glad you and kid had good cm experience.

scarecrow22 Tue 26-Mar-13 13:41:36

Knicky - please do not feel guilty. Many of us will use bottles - all, mostly, sometimes. I feel if you can BF easily it is a blessing for cost and ease - and in this culture lack of guilt - but not something t be taken for granted. I plan to intro bottle earlier this time as expressing is the most ghastly task and DD didn't sleep through til gone a year - and I'm not sure my sanity or marriage will survive that twice! As others say, you being well and happy will give far more nurturing and joy to Little Luke. Plus the only totally bottle fed baby in my NCT group was best sleeper, best behaved most chilled little munchkin of the lot!

Oh, and remember Knicky our motto on the mums-to-be thread was supposed to be Banish Guilt!

Was it Goat or Seaside talking about work. I think it is hideous and you have to embrace the fact you are lucky to have LOs you will always miss deep down. But challenge extreme worry with the knowledge that generations of women across cultures have had to do it - to fields, market stalls, factories, offices...whatever. I also found it very helpful doing Keep In Touch Days, and if possible using some holiday to start gently /part time. Finally I divided up the 'leaving DD' (wonderful CM, so very happy she could not be in better care) from the 'going to work' (hated being parted but had well enough paid job I mostly enjoyed etc). I found that helped. Keep talking about it though as many of us been there and would love to support you as we were once - and will need again!

BBD, Eagle, etc - thanks for kind words or reassurance about CC etc. glad to find other BW fans. Proof we probably all mix it up more than the silly media stereotypes suggest!

GoatBongosAnonymous Tue 26-Mar-13 14:18:52

knicky I add my voice about bottle feeding. We have ff since 16 weeks, as I was dependent on expressing to keep my supply up, and BG was very anti being put down so I could express! In the end I realised that a happy baby (and mum) was healthier than trying to struggle on. So don't feel guilty, enjoy your stress-free feeding times! BG is a very happy baby now currently climbing all over me and attempting happily to strangle me with the tie on my top

blueblackdye Tue 26-Mar-13 15:33:29

Goat, so glad to hear it went well with CM and baby G as cheeky as ever. Does he crawl forwards or backwards ? I meant to ask you as well with solids, do you still give him a bottle or BF after or when ? A is on 2 solid meals a day and BF in the morning, in the evening and sometimes when she wants after her lunch nap 1ish and around 4pm. I m concerned she is not getting enough liquids as she still refuses the bottle and the sippy cut is used more as a teething tool than to get any liquid in smile
Re separation and guilt, I find it easier to go to work with a lighter heart if I know DC is happy at nursery. DS now does not want to go home in the evening and it does make a big difference for me. Also my nursery has webcams so I can from time to time log in and see what he is up to.

blueblackdye Tue 26-Mar-13 15:34:29

Sippy cup not cut !!! Need more sleep, my eye balls are not in the right place smile

eagleray Tue 26-Mar-13 17:48:54

Well the shit has well and truly hit the fan after the jabs (literally). All was fine and I took her to bed with me this afternoon as am a bit tired. There was an awful poo explosion which destroyed her entire outfit, plus pillowcase, pillow and duvet cover, then since I did a big clean-up she's been screaming her head off inconsolably.

Funny you should mention osteopath Seaside - she just so happens to have an appointment tomorrow! That's awful that baby seaside suffered for so long - how did she react?

In other news, she was weighed by HV earlier and has put on 9oz since last thurs, so that's enough to push her back up the percentile charts a little bit and give me some restored faith in the whole BF shenanigans.

Knicky - just a thought I had earlier - now that you are no longer BF, are you getting adequate pain relief? It's just that I know you can be a bit limited regarding drugs you can take when BF, but obviously different when you stop. I've been a bit obsessed with pain relief drugs since I've been ill...

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