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Further freakingly fantabulous adventures of the 40+ Mummies

(1000 Posts)
10000Fireflies Thu 17-Jan-13 20:13:44

For gorgeous, frolicking and fabulous 40-somethings to share the joys of becoming a Mummy, just a little bit later than most!! grin. Park your zimmer-frame next to your baby buggy, put your feet up, and come and join us in the snug.

eagleray Wed 20-Mar-13 22:02:11

Thanks everyone for your kind words. Having a relatively pain-free moment - I think the drugs have had long enough to kick in but not long enough to wear off.

DP is back in the country tomorrow and then is going to take Friday off so there's only tomorrow daytime to get through. My mum did offer to come over tomorrow, but she would be relying on my stepdad to drive and I feel a bit awkward as I don't think he would be that keen to hang around the house all day. If DP wasn't coming back though I think I would ask her to come.

I didn't sleep at all today - I don't actually feel sleepy, just drained/fed up. Baby E slept for about an hour I think and has been awake ever since. In fact I get surprised when she does ever fall asleep. The only time recently she's slept much was on Monday where she fed/slept in a loop in the crook of my arm. All very well when you are spending the day in bed but not so good otherwise. I need to get naps sorted when I'm well.

I did give her a bath tonight, thinking it would be nice for her, but think I made the water a bit cold. She looked horrified and really betrayed - useless mummy.

The strange thing about this virus is that I don't have a temperature any more, and when it was raised, it wasn't that much. It's as if my body has welcomed the virus in and told it to make itself at home. I'm up and dressed but it's the pain and discomfort that's getting to me. I'm going to go to the baby clinic tomorrow morning and maybe see a doc again while I'm there. Not sure if there's anything else they can give me.

Scarecrow - thanks for the advice - I do let Baby E suck my finger sometimes if I think she's overtired rather than hungry, but often I forget about it as an option so thanks for reminding me. It tried a dummy earlier but it was continually spat out...

So sorry for self-obsessed post - I will be mortified I'm sure when I'm well again and realise how much I've gone on about a sore throat.

Midget the cheesecake sounds awesome, although I'm off food at the moment as I can't taste it. Hope it will keep until my tastebuds recover.

Oh dear - Baby E is trying to suckle on one of my nice sofa cushions - talk about dropping hints... better go and feed her then try to get her to sleep. Oh, now she has fallen asleep. Poor little thing - she'll wake up soon enough for feeding so will let her sleep for now.

Big hugs to you all, and thank you for helping me get through the day x

Midgetm Thu 21-Mar-13 08:23:08

Great news on the job BBD and a relief for eagle that soon Mr Eagle will be home. Poor thing being sick with a wee one sucks. No car. Not yet. I will buy one today, I will. Cheesecake was twice baked. Delicious but I bit runny. Maniac baker that I am I now need to keep making it till I perfect it. Healthy eating eh?

somewherebecomingrain Thu 21-Mar-13 10:37:26

Sorry I've been lurking like a coward as you go through your tribulations - baby goat's bad sleep, anastasia,s fall from sleep grace, baby goats actual falls, and eagle.s illness and dp-less-ness.

It sounds like its getting better all round. eagle I've not read any whingeing rather the heroism of motherhood. I am hoping your dp looks after you when he gets home. I,m glad the painkillers are working.

bbd congrats on the job - so pleased for you!

Over on the pg thread it is, to quote one of the posters, looking like a 'bumper baby day'!!!!! smile

bytheseaside Thu 21-Mar-13 13:34:34

ooh im going to have a look on pg thread!

eagleray Thu 21-Mar-13 13:45:48

Hello Somewhere - nothing cowardly about lurking!

Yes, looks quite exciting over on the other thread - hope we have at least 2 babies by the end of the day.

After I last posted, I realised I was feeling a bit better, and then Baby Eagle slept through the night for the first time ever! I was awake in the night taking loads of drugs to keep the pain at bay, but got quite a bit of sleep. Took Baby E to be weighed today and was horrified to find that she hasn't put on any weight whatsoever in the last 10 days. Was a bit worried about milk supply but she's been feeding loads more than normal so not sure what's gone wrong.

As soon as we got home she did an explosive poo and I only just got her to the changing table in time.

Pain is more manageable today, but felt terrible after walking to the surgery (all of 200m!). And got a lovely chesty cough now too.

Congratulations on the job BBD! That's great news smile Keeping fingers crossed for good news re the school too. And great to hear you got through the evening on your own

eagleray Thu 21-Mar-13 13:47:00

quick, quick there's a baby shock

bytheseaside Thu 21-Mar-13 14:26:19

its great isn't it ? smile aah, new teeny baby

well done BBD! thats so exciting. what will you do for childcare? do you have to write your own contract?

Eagle - glad you made it through the night! am also chestily coughing today - baby s and i are both pretty bored, shes resorted to napping after a good winge. i'm having some lunch, and lots of it!! 10 days isnt long - are they particularly worried? sorry its another worry for you sad

midget mmmmm i so adore cheesecake! i absolutely have to move to your house now

LRM you ok?

somewhere - hows the bump coming along?

blueblackdye Thu 21-Mar-13 14:49:54

LRM, twice 45 min of crying and screaming but eventually A fell asleep on her own, of exhaustion I guess. she woke up crying a bit too but then gave me the cutest smile, making me feel guiltier than ever. her eyes are swollen now. But you gave me the push I needed. When DS started nursery, he would not nap and cried so much than his voice was as sexy as Tina Turner s !!! I d rather have A crying with me, at least I know there is nothing wrong and she wasn t in pain, whereas at nursery, I would not know if they treat her well or just leave her scream....
Yes Seaside I have to write my contract with them being a freelancer ! I will ask a friend who is atm on mat leave and works at DS nursery to look after A for a morning or two when I have to go to the office at the beginning, I will be able to work from home most of the time afterwards
Eagle, glad that Baby E has slept through the night, good girl, you gave your Mum a nice rest, she deserves it, keep on. Hope the no weigh gain is nothing serious, I was told to weigh every 2 weeks for the first 3 months and then once a month during the subsequent 9 months.
yeah, Knicky had her little boy ! Spring baby. There are two others coming very soon, if not already here as we chat.

GoatBongosAnonymous Thu 21-Mar-13 15:33:32

Congratulations to bbd for the job and to Babyeagle for sleeping through!
Also to knicky whose baby boy shares a birthday with one of the greatest composers of all time. smile

blueblackdye Fri 22-Mar-13 09:54:44

Update on sleep training, last night 35 minutes on on and off crying but A woke up twice for a feed. Not sure she needed them though, am I supposed to do CC also at night ? That would be tough on the entire household and neighbours... Any advice or thougths, wise ladies ?
Just put A down for her nap as she woke up at 5.30am, crying a bit, 5 minutes, I don't hear any scream, in 10 minutes, I will check if she is sleeping. That would be wonderful as I need to drown my disappointment of DS being refused a place at the French School. I am so so so so sad.

bytheseaside Fri 22-Mar-13 12:43:11

bbd so sorry about the school sad you must be so disappointed. can't advise about napping / sleeping as we do everything 'wrong' (feed to sleep, cosleep, no routine) i like to think its because we don't like rules, but thats a lie, i just have noidea what Im doing and lack the courage for introducing changes ...

littleredmonkey Fri 22-Mar-13 14:29:43

Bbd. Sorry about n and school. Please dont be sad. Is there any others you could try? Big hug from me xxxxxxxx
Nap wise. Got Dylan down for two and a half naps in his crib. I count the half as he slept for 7 whole mins but did sleep 20+ on me while I paced the floor. It is snowing cold wet and windy so I thought sod this and put him on the boob knowing he will sleep and boob bingo here we sit. I am knackered from the week and my poor sleep so I am happy under my duvet and Dylan under his blanket getting some sleep. Tomorrow is another day. A will get there again you have the determination honey xx

blueblackdye Fri 22-Mar-13 14:51:25

Thank you Seaside and LRM. I now have to wait for the answer from Local Council, hope DS can go to a state school at least. The French school was my first choice.
Re nap, A did settle after 10 minutes or 15 this mrning, then at lunch time again 5 minutes f crying and she was in Morpheus arms. Still early times but I hope she understood there is no need to cry....
I am now working on the job, sorting childcare etc... Busy busy

blueblackdye Fri 22-Mar-13 15:28:58

Seaside, I understand, it s daunting to train baby to sleep, so heartbreaking, but I now have to if I want to feel comfortable with leaving her from time to time to get to the office. I just put A down, 2 minutes of protesting and it sounds like she is asleep or about to. Will keep you posted on the progress. Too early to claim victory and things can go wrong again very quickly but being aware makes it easier to accept and gives hope to start again.
I have not cracked the Elimination Communication as yet but she does tell me when she does number 2. I just now need to get her to tell me before she goes!
Not losing hope.

blueblackdye Fri 22-Mar-13 15:37:10

Eagle, how are you feeling today ? Hope DP will help a lot this week end so that you fully recover. Hugs

eagleray Fri 22-Mar-13 16:00:52

Very sorry BBD re the school - that is so disappointing sad

LRM boob bingo made me laugh then I realised it's a game I play too sometimes....

Seaside sounds like we're following the same baby rearing methodology

I'm in bed today, apart from a trip to GP first thing. Thankfully no chest inf (was getting worried as chest/breathing was v creaky in the night) but she gave me antibiotics hmm Probably not going to take them as fear the knock-on effects and there's been a lot in the news this week about GPs handing out placebos.

DP is here today, doing his best to entertain Baby E while I rest/cough. Can no longer remember what it's like to be well

BadMissM Fri 22-Mar-13 19:33:59

BBD Sorry to hear about the French school...if it's any comfort, I used to go to school near there, and they were always a bit insular and stuck-up... But I know it's important for language acquisition and how hard it is. DD finally at international school, making it a bit easier. No dedicated French school within about 300 miles of here!

GoatBongosAnonymous Fri 22-Mar-13 20:46:10

bbd so sorry to hear about the school. Can you go on the waiting list?

eagle it takes ages to get over these things, don't rush yourself. Hooray for DP's entertaining skills!

I used to teach piano, and everyone hated the sight reading tests in the exam. There are all these rules, like keep going, count, keep your eyes on the music... I would ask, what is the most important rule? As everyone would recite these at me, then I would say no, the most important rule is, "when in doubt make it up."
Pretty much like child rearing then, I reckon! (And you'd be amazed how well my students used to do in that bit of the exam grin )

Wish me luck for tonight. So far so good, no cot acrobatics yet which is already an improvement. After practically force feeding the poor child an enormous bowl of baby rice and banana for tea (although BG never needs much encouragement to eat when he is feeling ok!) and a big bottle, in the hope that his full tummy will help him sleep. Fingers crossed. Couldn't get a gp appointment till Monday but he is so wheezy poor thing as well as the permanent ear-pulling with no other teething signs at the moment.

scarecrow22 Sat 23-Mar-13 18:35:32

BBD I did cc-lite with DD twice, once to sort long day nap, later to get her sleeping past 5am (something I still occasionally have to remind her of!)
I'm not an expert but a few things that helped me : firstly I read a good book on it written from a more relaxed less GF pov and the author pointed out that it is more cruel to let them cry and then give in - partly because they cannot connect the crying to a message or point (so it seems pointless iyswim) and also because the message is if I cry long enough I get what I want - which encourages them to keep crying for longer. What persuaded me to start was I felt DD was unhappily tired from not being able to sleep longer than 45min at lunch so it was kind of a balance of why and when crying.
As for when to do, I did make a conscious decision to focus on the nap - because I felt easier for me if I could focus and was less worried by the 5am breast feed/bottle (til gone 15mo so I am not a rigid mummy!!), and because i wondered if the settling lesson at lunch might automatically transfer. I am glad I did one thing at a time.
The system the book recommended was the 3min, 6min, 9min... I made my own adjustment which was I wanted her to extend 45 m to a second 45m cycle, or at least add on 20ish mins, so I gave it 45 mins and then went in and turned light on and said time to get up (I was a bit traumatised myself!)
I was super lucky DD cried on and off 45 m first day, 20m second day and resettled third day. She eventually went to sleeping over 2hrs ...I now have to wake her after 1.5h! She didn't learn to resettle at 5 on her own but whenever we slip back towards it it only takes one day of leaving her in cot with periodic reassurance from outside door and she remembers again.
I hope I don't sound cruel or complacent - I feel strangely vulnerable admitting to this as I really think I err on the side if indulgent, but hard as it was it was a journey I have not regretted. Also dd has been a generally easy child, and I know enough children to know that this was a lucky blessing so I do appreciate it is harder for some parents/children.
Good luck - an a special hug for A xx

Midgetm Sun 24-Mar-13 09:25:35

So sorry about the school Bbd - I know you had your heart set on it. Well I should be less absent as managed to buy a car big enough for my kids, dog and belly. It has been so time consuming. Now back to the normal time wasting occupation - cooking. Slow roasted leg of lamb followed by tarte au citron is the order of today. Midge is getting some very ba habits, comfort feeding for England, sleep gone to shit. I need to get a grip. I think Anastasia has been phoning him and giving him advice on how to keep me on my toes.

GoatBongosAnonymous Sun 24-Mar-13 09:46:38

Midget you can't tell us you've bought a car and not say what colour it is!!! shock

Comfort feeding order of the day here too. Red velvet cake but the red is raspberry purée rather than food colouring. Wish me luck for remembering the baking powder this time.

Midgetm Sun 24-Mar-13 10:53:39

I love love love red velvet cake but oddly never made it. Must try and do one this week. What recipe do you use?

The car is a greeny grey. Sounds vile but it is lovely. I was looking for a reliable big wagon for dogs and kids but ended up buying a second hand Mercedes as it made me smile the most when driving. Naughty unpractical midget.

Goat - when you back at work?

knickyknocks Sun 24-Mar-13 14:05:18

I've made it!! Hello lovely ladies -- I've made it to the graduate thread at last after a pregnancy whcih seemed to go on many names that I recognise on here smile

Baby KK was born on Thursday at 10.20am. Got to say the much awaited labour was fairly rough for us both, and not the faster earlier second labour I was promised. Had almost the full complement of interventions, and my fanjo is so sore and bruised that at first I thought they'd left swabs down, no all just very swollen. Have a bottom like a baboon too. All in all it's all a bit of a sorry state, but have the most adorable wonderful perfect DS.

He seems a bit jaundiced so has slept loads and wasn't eaten waking to feed, but must be on the mend today as has wanted to eat more and seems more alert. All in all, at the moment he seems a far easier baby than DD was but in fairness she was In special care for a few days after being born and I always felt we were somehow playing catch up.

eagle you poor thing you sound like you've had a really rough week. It is beyond tough looking after a little one on your own when you're ill. Been there and did that with my DD when she was young. Huge hugs and hope you're feeling that much better.

Did someone mention cake?? Red velvet cake? Ooh, lovely! Hoping for cake tomorrow myself as it'll be my 41st birthday. Think it'll turn out to be a bit of a non-event day, but am sure DH and DD will spoil me somehow. Plus got a community midwife coming round in the afternoon, no doubt to poke her way round my piles and stitches. What other possible way is there to say a happy birthday?? grin

bytheseaside Sun 24-Mar-13 14:36:18

welcome knicky !! best of luck getting your body back together. Surprising how cuddling a beautiful baby can blot out quite a lot of pain ... wishing you sleep and cuddles for your birthday tomorrow. I look forward to chatting smile

midget yet again you are making my favourite food. I still NEVER get to cook. Have plans to buy some sort of super baby entertainer (jumperoo?) that is as good as cuddles/ dancing with mummy so I can at least make scrambled eggs or something. My lovely cookery books are gathering dust. goat and midget what is red velvet cake? Have just demolished packet of milk chocoleibniz shock really need to restart the diet ...

I feel very lucky reading your posts as despite utter lack of routine I seem to be getting the most sleep on this thread (not a boast, its not due to any skill) although at completely the wrong times/places for baby seaside. I will try not to complain about anything, as I know sleep is the cornerstone to sanity and bearableness. I have no excuse for eating so much chocolate, cold put me back to square one.

eagleray Sun 24-Mar-13 18:55:42

Great to see you on the Other Side Knicky! Sorry for your baboon bottom (and full complement of interventions - know it well) - I can remember I sat side-saddle on the sofa for a couple of weeks, but it's a lovely feeling the day you realise you can sit down properly. And very many happy returns for tomorrow flowers

Day 9 of Being Ill here, and after foolishly getting out of bed yesterday and realising I wasn't up to it, I'm back to sickbed today. Slightly losing my mind now as the symptoms just seem to be taking it in turns. Got rid of excruciating throat, but this has been replaced with the return of stop/start bleeding, withdrawal headaches after painkiller popping and v painful boobs caused by god-knows-what. Oh, and the chesty cough that goes on and on. DP brings Baby E to my room whenever she looks like she needs feeding and I'm just sleeping in between and hoping I will get better at some point. Meant to be going away at Easter but that's now on hold as no longer confident I will be well enough. I'm going to try and get some face to face BF support advice this week as think we have hit rock bottom with that. It's causing massive rows and I'm no longer convinced it's doing DD any good (l.5lb weight gain after 8 weeks, FFS) and, to be honest, most of the time I bloody hate it.

Seaside - I've got my eye on the jumperoo for later on too. In my 2 hours of being up and about yesterday, we bought a crazy baby swing (second hand) as felt she needed some sort of gentle entertainment. The bloody thing is massive and has an alarming range of features (it's a Chicco Polly one). DD seems to like it, ie does not scream, but generally passes out within 2 minutes of being strapped in.

DP has just told me he's bored (of looking after me) and hasn't had a very good weekend. shock To give him credit, he did have to deal with an epic poonami earlier (it reached her hair) while I was sleeping. That'll teach him to buy too-small nappies!

I haven't heard of red velvet cake either but may have time to google it before DD starts screaming

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