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Routine for 9 week old - where do I start?

(7 Posts)
whatsoever Sun 06-Jan-13 22:24:48

I have a 12 week old with a little bit of routine. He has had a bedtime routine since 8 weeks when he went into a cot in his own room (because he'd outgrown his Moses basket in our room). We start with a bath at 7ish, then feed, then sleep. Sometimes it's more successful than others. Tonight we had to go up and settle him on and off until gone 9. Other nights he will go down straight away at 7.30. He either sleeps through or wakes for one feed in the night.

HOWEVER he was grumpy every evening in the weeks before we started this and it has done us all good. If he was alert and happy in the evenings we may have been less inclined to do this.

Other than this I just follow his lead - he has a nap roughly an hour after he wakes in the morning and then follows a nap/feed/awake cycle every 2-3 hours for the rest of the day.

preggersshock Sun 06-Jan-13 20:38:07

Humperdinck, I can empathise with this; have a 10 week old & have been feeling under pressure to get her into a routine (because the other ten week old babies in her group are already sleeping 7-7 with 10.30 dream feed). DD prefers to sleep on me from 7 until 10.30 hating being in her basket, I can't see how she gets quality sleep this way but it's better than the howling we get if we put her down.

I was determined tonight to get her into bed but after 10 mins crying she got beyond herself and I cracked, breaks my heart to hear her cry. Wish I'd seen your thread first, great to hear 'go with it' & they naturally fall into a bedtime routine, this makes me feel much better & tomorrow night we'll be going with it without worrying that our LO will be 3 & still sleeping on me in the evenings grin

NettletonMummy Sun 06-Jan-13 19:32:47

I have a 4 week old - routine is important to me, but it's really hard trying to impose something on a small baby who has different needs each day. The only part of the day I have a routine for is tea for dd1 (3years old), bath snd bedtime for both. I try and get both down by 7.30pm. Usually I bath them at 6, and feed baby afterwards. By 7.30 she is usually pretty tired and falls asleep until about 10 or sometimes 10.30. Day times are a bit more random, she feeds a lot all afternoon (every 2 hours), but for now is only waking once in the night to feed (wonder how long that will last!) day time routine never really happened for dd1 either as we are often out and about doing different things. But I do really value some quiet time in the evenings!

waterrat Sun 06-Jan-13 19:20:21

ignore the 7pm bedtime for now - from my experience that happens naturally after about 3/4 months - bedtime just gets earlier on it's own without you having to do anything.

Sounds like she has a nice little rhythm to her day already - I personally (and it is all personal) found that from about 10 weeks I felt comfortable to begin a little feeding schedule that wasn't totally on demand - ie. I tried to make it roughly every 2.5 hours or so - I was never strict about it though, and fed whenever I wanted to/ could see he wanted it...but over the months the pattern became clearer and feeds more spaced out...without ever trying to stick too much to a schedule.

re. naps - after 6 months they get much easier - and although it seems now like she is attached to you -it is such a short time that they do the sleeping on you thing! really - my baby was a sling addict - but he got used to the cot. After 6months his naps became longer and more regular - now at 8 months he sleeps for an hour in the morning, 2 at lunchtime - in his cot. I would never have believed I could reach this point!

If you go with your babies needs (and remember they won't always be the same) - you will get to a routine in the end.

piprabbit Sun 06-Jan-13 19:17:45

I agree with Lois - follow the pattern that your baby is setting at the moment (why give yourself a battle you don't need to be having?). The pattern will change gradually over time as new things crop up for your DD (teething, weaning, getting more physically active etc.).
Being aware of your baby's patterns is a fantastic advantage - you can start trying to tweak it a bit if you like, but it does sound like it suits you both at the moment.

Loislane78 Sun 06-Jan-13 19:11:24

Hey humperdink

I think you've noticed a natural rhythm/routine here so I'd build on that at this stage rather than trying to impose anything iyswim.

If 'get up' time is about 7, then do the same thing every morning. For me it was nappy change/quick chat, take her downstairs for a feed, followed by cup of tea for me and some activity before she needed a nap. After first nap I got her 'dressed'.

Most babies are grumpy in the evening at this age it seems! Perhaps after her 7pm feed (or thereabouts), do the bath/bedtime thing. For me it was bath, same songs/music (from Ewan the Sheep), dim lights, sleeping bag on etc. Even if your LO doesn't actually go to sleep until later this might signal the end of the day and baths start to become relaxing for them at this age. As she becomes older you can bring forward bedtime.

Wanting to sleep on you totally normal at this stage so I'd go with it and make it easier on you both. Gets easier smile

Humperdink123 Sun 06-Jan-13 17:19:45

DD is now 9wks and I think for the sake of my sanity I have reached the point where I need to establish some sort of routine but I really don't know where to start...
I am EBF, have not even been expressing to date, which is exhausting and draining and makes me feel like I never get a moment to myself. She doesn't really have any set times for feeds and is definitely a snacker rather than wanting big feeds which fill her up for a long while.
Whilst DD actually sleeps fairly well (comparitively) her issue is location, she has always found it difficult to sleep on her own. This was compounded by some sort of reflux issues at about 4 weeks, which seems to finally be easing up. In the last week she has been getting better about having naps in the carrycot, although prefers to sleep on me or in sling. We cosleep and have a cot attached to the bed but even getting her into that rather than cuddled up close to me is really hard. However I don't know if the problem is that I am just too soft with her?! I hate to hear her cry...
I am beginning to notice some patterns in her behaviour - She wakes around, 7ish in the morning and is happy for up to 2 hours before needing to sleep again. she seems to like a long sleep in the afternoon, then is alert in the evening and grumpy and ready for bed just before 10pm at which point I head to bed as well.
I have seen loads of routines for baths, feeding etc which end up with baby sleeping from about 7pm, but am confused how I can achieve this if DD doesn't want to sleep alone and if she has slept alot of the afternoon.
Just some pointers of where to start would be great!

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