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Getting rid of the baby monitor

(19 Posts)
catgirl1976geesealaying Thu 03-Jan-13 20:13:10

DS is 13 months

We have a breathing and sound monitor and a separate video monitor (PFB, guilty as charged)

When he stays at my parent they don't have a monitor at all

He has been waking really early (anywhere between 5 and 6 - 6 is ok, 5 not so much) and last night DH said, "It's the monitor. First squeak and you go to him. Leave it downstairs tonight and you'll get a better nights sleep. He sleeps till nearly 8 at your parents"

So we did. And DS slept till 7:45

But a bit of me is worried he was awake from 5am and howling and I just didn't hear him. It's unlikely as we have a small house and his room is directly next to ours with the two doors on a 90 degree angle to each other (so almost touching IYSWIM) If he coughs or sneezes I can hear him and I'm not a deep sleeper

I like the video monitor for when we are downstairs as I can check he is ok / settled so would keep that, but do I still need the sound one?

Is it ok / safe to get rid? When did other people do this? And how? The nagging doubt that I should be awake at 5am is gnawing away at me.....

NatashaBee Thu 03-Jan-13 20:16:10

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pmgkt Thu 03-Jan-13 20:17:35

We never had one full stop. You will hear him don't worry. Give it ago for s few nights and then see how you feel.

soupmaker Thu 03-Jan-13 20:20:18

Unplug the monitor and stick it at the back of a cupboard. You already know that you will hear him if he is unsettled. I have a friend who still uses a monitor for her almost 4 year old in a tiny house and who has always rushed to her at the tiniest squawk. The result, her DD can't self settle and is a nightmare to get back to sleep when she wakes every night.

catgirl1976geesealaying Thu 03-Jan-13 20:20:20

He sometimes does re-settle Natasha but I think in the mornings I go into autopilot mode a bit if that makes sense

I don't think I'm actually awake by the time I get to him some mornings....I just sort of zombie in at the first cry

2beornot Thu 03-Jan-13 20:23:55

From what I've read, the issue isn't the monitor, but you!! It's ok to have the monitor there so you can hear him if you need to but you need the learn which noises to ignore and which to respond to.

I have a similar guilty with my dd (2) as she has a bed but doesn't get up or make any noise. She just waits for me to go through. In the holidays this was normally 8.30-9 but I have no idea how long she was actually awake for!!

2beornot Thu 03-Jan-13 20:25:28

Sorry cross post. If you can hear him when he's in distress without it then you don't need it on.

ceeveebee Thu 03-Jan-13 20:26:22

Monitors amplify every sound. Sometimes I hear what I think is one of my twins screaming and run upstairs to find them fast asleep doing a bit of sleep-grumbling. I stopped taking it to bed with us a few months ago but still have it on downstairs. Our room is right next door and i'd hear them if they really wanted me. And we have to wake them at 630 every day now!

Tinselandchocolates Thu 03-Jan-13 20:26:29

Yes it's safe. Your baby is well able to get you to respond if he really needs you. Your DH is right, enjoy the sleep!
We kept our baby monitor on til DS was 2 and in a bed, but that was because we have a big house with thick walls and I couldn't hear him when he cried if I was downstairs or in our room. Was a bit of a wrench to get rid of it in the end but glad we did. Would definitely have got rid of it earlier if I could have heard him as I'm sure it made my sleep worse.

Fairylea Thu 03-Jan-13 20:27:55

When does he go to bed?

If he's going to bed at 6ish then he's likely to wake up between 5-6, it's actually very common (both of mine do!)... I guess it depends if you're happy to let him fidget about for a bit before he actually calls for you or whether you want to get him up when he wakes up?

If he isn't calling out for you I'd be inclined to leave him.... unless he sounded upset obviously ! smile but I'm a sucker for monitors and I think I used one with dd till she was about 3 !

catgirl1976geesealaying Thu 03-Jan-13 20:28:26

OK.......I will get rid

If he wakes in the night he generally goes back to sleep (unless he's genuinely upset,dirty nappy, teething etc) so I think I have just auto-programmed myself to leap out of bed post 5am as soon as he makes a peep

catgirl1976geesealaying Thu 03-Jan-13 20:30:16

He goes to bed about 7:30 to 8pm and my ideal would be for him to wake about 7ish (I appreciate babies don't do ideal)

I'm happy to leave him if he's not actually upset / properly crying so I guess I need to re-train myself

Tolly81 Thu 03-Jan-13 20:41:42

I turn the sound off on mine and just use the lights as I'm a really light sleeper and already wake for every cough and mumble. If she's crying in the night she will once in a blue moon rarely settle herself but if she's doing a loud cry (hitting the further down lights on the monitor) then it just sort of confirms what I already know - that I need to go in. I still wake very easily but every now and again I'll sleep through a cough!

breatheslowly Thu 03-Jan-13 20:41:47

We still have one at 28 months, but most of our friends got rid of it much earlier. But DD yells when she wakes up, we aren't reacting to the first peep. If she wakes before 6am then one of us tends to lie down with her in her bed. 6-7 is a grey area and after 7am she is welcome in our bed.

Iggly Thu 03-Jan-13 21:36:51

We turned ours down. It was useful for when ds has been ill and not been able to call out loudly (eg he threw up in his bed a few months ago, he's 3) - but we can't hear him as on a different floor.

Dd is 13 months and we have one for her too - again its useful for when they're ill. We would hear her if she screamed but not a grumble. I've turned hers down too.

cassell Thu 03-Jan-13 21:54:13

Personally I would keep it and just train yourself not to jump up at the slightest squeak after 5am. But then I still have a monitor for pfb (3.9yo) and bought a second one for ds2 (8mo) when he goes into his own room as not ready to give up ds1's yet. blush

lola88 Thu 03-Jan-13 22:00:14

I got rid of mine at about 8mo it was second hand from my niece and the power cord for the 'parent' side was lost so we had to use batterys one night they ran out about 9pm it was cold and pouring outside so i thought sod it one night won't matter, i heard him every time that night and have still not got round to buying new batterys for it.

Florin Thu 03-Jan-13 22:09:03

My son is 6 months and we don't go in unless he is crying however he sometimes does chat for a while at 5 or 6 am. At 7 if he is awake he can come into our room. Just ignore him unless he is upset.

CoolaYuleA Fri 04-Jan-13 01:04:18

I still use one with DD who is 15 months, but I don't use the parent unit. The only bit that we use now is the breathing monitor.

Even when she is in bed and we're downstairs I can hear her without the parent unit, I can also hear the breathing alarm (I checked) over the tv.

I don't ever jump at the first squeak, or even the second or third. I amble to her once she hits full on "I'm NOT going back to sleep!!!!" roar. Which the neighbours can probably hear. With the parent unit off I don't always hear the first squeaks, but I still have the knowledge that the breathing monitor is working and will wake me if necessary.

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