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Surprise pregnancy - can someone hold my hand please?

(7 Posts)
Toptack Tue 25-Dec-12 18:29:46

So, I found out this morning that I'm up the duff. I'm 38, perimenopausal and had been told it was extremely unlikely that I would ever conceive again naturally (the Dr gave us a 1% chance). We already have a gorgeous 2 year old, so we just started making plans for our life that revolved around the three of us. And then bam, positive pregnancy test. I'm in deep shock and just want to cry. I had a tough time with DS1 when he was little and feel like we were just beginning to get back to 'normal'. At the moment I'm really struggling to see any positive aspects of having a second child - does anyone have any wise words of help or encouragement?

VisualiseAHorse Tue 25-Dec-12 19:20:29

I don't have any wise words (too much fizzy booze), but I will hold your hand.

Do you have any idea how far along you are?

QODRestYeMerryGentlemen Tue 25-Dec-12 19:21:07

Nope ;)

But deep down, as you didn't use contraception, do you think you hoped it would happen?
You'll cope, people do!

Girlsville Tue 25-Dec-12 19:39:23

Just to say I fell pregnant by accident when dd1 was almost 6 months. Shocked. Any describe how I felt, and I shed a lot of tears. Dd2 now 19 months and dd1 2.10, and I can honestly say that although there were hard times in the first year, I could not imagine not having dd2 or it being any other way. She is a pure joy to me, dh, dd1 and all family and friends. It is a difficult thing to come to terms with emotionally, but when your baby is born your hormones will kick in and a stop watch him or her grow your heart will fill with love. I just said to dh this morning that I do not know what dd1 would do without dd2. Pm me if you have any questions.

Toptack Tue 25-Dec-12 20:15:33

Thanks for the replies, although your kindness has pushed me over the edge and am now sobbing buckets!

My period was due yesterday on a 28 day cycle, so I'm only four weeks gone. QOD you are right, we weren't adamantly opposed to having another child... in fact we had always assumed we would have two until we found out about my fertility problems when we were TTC DS. But it just seemed so impossible, I really didn't give it much thought... Just a vague, oh I wouldn't mind having another one. I'm utterly stupid, I know. I'm also probably being pathetic; as you said, everyone else copes. It's just so scary and I'm not convinced I'm doing a good job with the child i already have! It doesn't help that my DH is in the army and we move every two years, so I have no RL support network - i haven't found so much as a baby sitter where we live now, and I'm 5 hours drive from my mum.

Girlsville, thank you. I'm glad things have worked out so well for you, it must have been a tough first year. I really hope I'll end up feeling as positive as you do. Will pm once DS is asleep.

Merry Christmas everyone, btw!

Sparklingbrook Tue 25-Dec-12 20:42:15

Hi Toptack, it sounds as if you had got your head around DC2 never happening and now it has it feels like the rug has been pulled from underneath you. The direction you saw your life taking is now completely different and that is going to need time to get used to.

Its is understandable that you are in shock. You have only just found out. x

QODRestYeMerryGentlemen Tue 25-Dec-12 21:22:46

As you only found out today, I have some suggested names ....

For a boy

Joseph
Jesus or Brian

Girl

Mary or Magdelene

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