Bored to tears how do you all cope?(35 Posts)
Just that really. DD's are 3 and 15mths . DH works full time and I am a SAHM.
Both DH and I are bored of our weekends. Oldest DD has a temp and cold so have stayed home all weekend.
What do you all do to stop getting soo bored. I have already read with them, played games, watched some TV, done puzzles the usual but these are all interesting things for the DD's, DH and I are bored to tears. I am aware how ungrateful that makes me sound but seriously what do you all do? Anyone else feel the same way. Do you do adult things during the weekend and drag the kids along? And what do you do??? Especially with DC this young.
Please help seriously losing the will to parent!
I remember the boredom. I was as active a mother as it was possible to be with outings, walks, swimming, soft play, music, sport, the park, the theatre, friends in to play and have tea etc. Sounds good? Maybe, but I spent years feeling thoroughly bored with it all. However, I chose to bring children into the world and they deserved as much care, love, education and fun as possible. When the youngest left home recently to go to university I knew I would miss her but I felt an enormous sense of relief.
Get out of the house, we go to the park, a soft play area, a cafe, swimming. In the house all weekend is a recipe for disaster IME. This weekend ds was sick so I tok dd out and we had a fantastic day. Nothing planned, but it was really lovely.
Read 'The Idle Parent' by ?Tom Hodgkinson, you'll feel normal again.
And it's good for the dcs to see you reading
DH works full time, me 2 days (freelance, make hardly any money but I needed to do it after 2 years as a sahm, I found it a real struggle).
On the weekends we might go to a museum or gallery (we're in London so plenty of choice), library, local woods or parks that I don't get to in the week, see friends, just potter about - you don't have to entertain your children constantly, we can usually plonk down with the paper and a cuppa whilst DD (nearly 3) bumbles about. DH will normally do at least one thing out of the house with her each weekend, he likes it being just the 2 of them cos she can focus on me if I'm around (but totally out of sight out of mind!).
If you going back to work simply covers childcare (so you'd be no worse off but not any better off), I would do it if you're struggling, I could not go back to looking after DD full time (and I'd like to work more days if I could).
If you have a poorly one I would bundle them up and take them for a walk in the pram.
I have to say, when we mull over moving out of London, it's things like this that make me appreciate it, there are so many things to do with a toddler!
I used to meet up with friends, picnic lunches in the park, play ball games, feed the ducks, trips to the library, story time at the library, 1 o'clock club (free sessions run by local council) gym club, ballet, swimming.
I used play games matching the socks up, talking about colours and names clothes when sorting out the washing. Growing cress in potatoes, planting sunflowers and tomatoes. My two used to love being in the garden, collecting leaves, doing leaf print pictures, salt dough Christmas decorations.
I was lucky in that I lived in an area with a lot of older people who were always happy to stop and have a chat when we were out and about locally.
Definitely take turns to be on kiddy duty while the other one gets a break/goes out/meets friends.
Also, you can take dd along with you for some things. Dh and I take ds for the odd pub lunch or meal out on weekends - we can't laze away the afternoon but if we stick to one course and maybe a wick coffee , ds will sit in a high chair snacking, reading his books, or playing on my iPhone. But it's so nice to do something adult. And of course we also do it with friends or family sometimes but ds gets a little crazy over excited!
We also meet up with friends on weekends - many friends without dc of their own enjoy spending a few hours with us with ds and he loves getting attention from other people.
My point is that it's not the same as the old days. But we do get to do more than just endless trips to the park and games at home.
Oh, and do not feel guilty about wanting some time doing other things. Seriously. It is normal and healthy and does not make you a bad parent.
I just have one dd aged 20 months & I go mad if we stay in all weekend, in fact we all go a bit mad. It is really hard when they are poorly though but I agree with thalianotfaliure about bundling them up in the buggy for a bit of an airing.
That said I remember crying over the jubilee weekend as dd was ill & it was rainy but I felt like everyone else in the country was doing fun stuff & we were stuck at home with a poorly child, literally bored to tears.
Dp & I take turns to have an extra hour or so in bed at the weekend & each of us occasionally goes off & does our own thing for a few hours. Together we go to the park (I'm a bit sick of this but dd & dp are happy), go for walks further afield, have lunch out occasionally, go to galleries or museums, go swimming, go to the library, meet or visit family & friends, that sort of thing. It's hardly boozy lunches with gangs of friends but we enjoy it. Do you ever do baking? I've just started with dd & I thought she might be too young but as long as its a simple recipe with stiring involved she really enjoys it.
Some of the nicest days I've had with dd are ones when I've woken up & thought 'what the f**k am I going to do with her all day?' And I've had to give myself a pep talk and come up with an outing or activity, even just a picnic in the park & the day is transformed.
I'm pretty lucky in that we have one child and live in London which has a gazillion things to do. Until DD (3.5) went to full-time pre-school, I was a SAHM and now run my own business from home.
Must admit I've never been bored (other than pushing swings). We tend to take DD out to museums at weekends or other places in London. Harrods for example is a great cheap day out - the other week they had free face-painting, free balloon animal things, free nail painting, glitter tattoos etc. The kids can also actually play with the toys on displat. DD is pretty good at not wanting to buy everything there and enjoys it. In the meantime DH or I have a wander to look at things that interest us (you can even have free coffee at the nespresso capsule counter).
I refuse to watch horrible kids TV, so DD doesn't know that things like Disney's Cinderella exist, nor has she even seen Dora. Instead she has things like Mary Poppins, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, Narnia and HP. She loves them, but is also a child who is utterly fearless - she thinks the child catcher in CCBB is amusing, I was terrified of him as a child. She understands the plots, loves the songs and dance routines and I can actually cope with watching them a gazillion times a week.
They also tie in well with museums - she likes to play in the Anderson shelter in the Imperial War Museum because it's like the beginning of the Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe.
In nice weather we go for walks or go to the park to feed the squirrels. DH has adopted photography as a serious hobby (poor DD is the most spied on kid I know) so he has something to concentrate on when we are out in terms of improving his technique, experimenting with different ideas.
I firmly believe that children should have plenty of time to amuse themselves. If we have gone out for a Saturday to a museum or something like that, then when we get home it is 'Mummy and Daddy Time' and DD is expected to play nicely with her toys and entertain herself while we read or play with the computer or even just have a nice quiet child-free bath.
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