Please help...Toddler wont stop breastfeeding(16 Posts)
I'm embarrassed to say that my two and half year old is still breastfeeding. Constantly during day and night. He wants it all the time. I'm tired and fedup of it. I have tried taking feeds away,put lemon juice,vinegar on,denying him and letting him cry it out but he still wants it desperately and doesnt show any signs of stopping. Please,please help! Any other methods or things I can put on to put him off. He drinks water and eats well,so its not hunger.
Marmite on your nipples or that nail bitter stuff hat help people stop biting their nails. My friend found to her disgust that her DD loves Marmite so she tried the nail bitter. Needless to say it worked a treat and her DD is completely weaned.
Usually better (and easier) to do it slowly.
Some people find it helps to limit feeding to one spot like a particular chair and then gradually sit on the chair less and less
Some people distract whenever possible when toddlers ask for feeds and gradually space them out that way.
Some people offer a bribe for giving up, may or may not work at 2 1/2
this is quite a good book How Weaning Happens
or try the breast and bottlefeeding topic
I'm in the same situation with my 3 years old
Watching with great interest. Dd is 26 months and still feeding. I've been back at work 20 months already! Last time we weaned DS off because it started to hurt like mad. Turns out I was pregnant! not using that method again!
She is slowly weaning herself but mostly through distraction. She used to attack me the moment I pick her up for nursery. She doesn't now because I carry snacks.
But other than that I have no idea to suggest. Watching with interest.
I had a similar problem with my two DC. They were both 2 when I stopped BF.
I managed to firstly limit to 3 feeds - one morning, one afternoon and one before bed. I did this for a few weeks. When they cried for feeds inbetween I distracted distracted - take them out for a walk or get puzzles out etc. You must stick to what you say. I kept explaining that because they are getting older now there is less milk. Let them know milk only comes out at certain times now.
Those 3 feeds were also hard to end. I explained that the milk had nearly all gone and we would have to swap to a different milk soon (cows) I said we would go out and they could choose a "special" cup to replace the feeds mummy gives. I told them this will happen soon - gave them another week of feeds each day telling them this will end soon. Milks nearly all gone. Then the day before I decided to stop I told them tomorrow is the big day we get to grow up and go shopping! They loved choosing a "special grown up" cup. (they chose character cups from supermarket)
They did accept this as I had explained it to them over and over giving them warning it was soon coming to an end. Also they liked the idea of being more "grown up" I reassured them a lot and told them milk really was just for babies. I made sure we still had many cuddles whilst they drank from the special cup. To be honest they soon forgot about BF.
Its hard though. I thought at times it would never end. I missed BF too but I had had enough - nearly 4 years worth of BF is enough! I did the above method with both my DS and DD and it worked. I think explanation and distraction is the key.
You just need to be tough and say no!!!
You're the adult
I would give warning and a count down and when it got to the end that would be it. No more milk.
I didn't really want to stop but my periods hasn't returned at 23 months. I tried just cutting down feeds but it didn't really work. In the end I put lemon juice on my nipples and he stopped easily. (At nearly 4 now he won't eat anything citrus though!). Good luck, it's really tough.
Don't be embarrassed, it's completely normal biologically for your toddler still to be breastfeeding, just not usual in the UK. Worldwide the average age for weaning is 4 (according to Unicef) and 50% of children in the world are still being bfed at 2 (Unicef again).
However, DD was a constant feeder at that age so I do hear how tired, frustrated and fed up you are. As someone mentioned above, cutting down gradually is likely to be easier on you both. Some good info here (as ever) on Kellymom.
Also second the suggestion of reposting on the breast/bottle feeding forum here.
I'm watching with interest too. My DD is almost 22 months and still breastfeeding several times a day at and at least once during the night.
She won't drink milk in a cup (well, she'll take a small sip, then push it away) and she still feeds to sleep for her nap .
Are you with him all the time? If so it might be worth getting some time with a relative or in nursery where he doesn't have the opportunity to go to you for a feed. My DS is 2.5 and feeds morning and night on the days I work and when I'm off he also has two feeds-to-sleeps during the day. When he is at Mils he falls asleep without it so its comfort and habit rather than necessity at this point. Agree with the suggestions for a special cup (buy a few identical ones just to be on the safe side)
At 2 and a half they are old enough to talk to and my first point would be that nights are for sleeping-mummy is sleeping and there is a beaker of water by the bed if they need anything-help themselves.
I would also go away for a weekend and he would have to make do with Dad or let him stay with grandparents-good for them and him.
when you have tried 'cry it out?' what do you do while he's crying?
if children aren't using breastfeeding for hunger, then it's a comfort thing, so
If you offer closeness and cuddles as he's crying, then eventually if you let him get to the end of a few cries then the crying can help him release the attachment to breastfeeding. and to know that you are there to help him with his feelings. If you can listen to the tears and stay close, then the long run, he'll actually be a lot happier and confident, because he doesn't need breastfeeding to feel 'safe'.
I found this article helpful, Listening to Nursing Children
I totally agree with this method. Having an explanations and countdown to help them understand and get used to the idea of being more grown up and choosing their "grown up" cup. When I decide to wean this time this will definitely be my method. With my first I breastfed til he was around 1. We just kind to tailed off gradually because I was back at work and working 6 full days a week ever since he was 9 months so even though I was expressing my milk supply seemed to reduce because of the lack of bonding time I think. But I gave up work and I'm going to stay home with the kid now that I have two so will definitely breastfeed longer. There is nothing embarrassing about still Breastfeeding a 2 year old. I think weaning them off anywhere from walking age to school age depending on the child and the mother is perfectly normal and nothin to be embarrassed about. I think you should be proud that you've been Breastfeeding for so long. Out of all the people my age (I'm currently 24) that I've spoken to with babies in the last 5 years of being a parent I only know one person than myself who breastfed! I'm surprised that so few people seem to do it because its wonderful and I always love hearing about other people that agree.
If you're now feeling its time to let go of the Breastfeeding then I definitely think the cutting down and explaining that the milk is nearly gone because they're growing up now is a brilliant plan.
It's so hard!
You have my sympathies, especially as your dc is 2.5 years old.
My dd2 us that age and a little
sod stubborn at times...
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