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Tell me what time your 11 year old goes to bed please

(35 Posts)
Hennycluckington Tue 13-Nov-12 21:44:20

Ds11 normally gets in to bed for say 8.30-9 pm and reads then lights out at about 9.20-30pm on school nights. (later at weekends)
A quite a few of his friends are still texting him at 10-11pm (his phone is on silent by then) and they are watching Tv or on a xbox etc.
He goes to sleep fairly quickly and I wake him at 7.30am
He complains that his friends get to stay up and watch TV.
He is also not impressed he doesn't get to stay up later than his 8 year old sister, but I do turn his light out later.
So, I was just wondering what the norm is for your 11 year olds?

I feel after 9.30 it's our time to watch programmes to get time as a couple and relax before our bedtime which is quite early at the moment as I'm 6 months pregnant.

yummumto3girls Thu 15-Nov-12 22:40:03

My nearly 12 year old, lights out by 8.30. Some nights it will be 9 if lots of homework and she needs some down time.

CremeEggThief Thu 15-Nov-12 11:38:03

I think 9.30/10 is about right for most 11 year olds, but I'm from Ireland and IME, people tend to go to bed later over there. For example, I had never heard of any adults going to bed before 11 p.m., until I moved to the UK aged 18. DS (10) goes at 9 now, but lights out seem to be more like 9.30. However, he doesn't really like staying up much past 10.

I was rarely asleep before midnight at that age, even though I was still in primary. But then again, most of my family are night owls. We used to mock my sister for going to bed at 11 in her teens, because she was tired!

EdithWeston Thu 15-Nov-12 11:33:52

Upstairs at 8.00, lights out between 8.30 and 9.00; a bit later on Scout night or special occasions. A bit earlier if he's been exhibiting signs of over tiredness (ie stroppy!)

choccyp1g Thu 15-Nov-12 11:25:05

DS is very rarely asleep before 10, and usually gets up with no trouble by 7.30. If I have to wake him up, or even have to hurry him along in the morning, then he has to go earlier the next night.

I think he could do with more sleep, but even if he goes up early, he will read until late or lie there wide awake until what he considers bedtime, (10 o'clock), plus a bit extra on principle if I've made him go earlier.

I can't remember the last time he's been grumpy in the morning, so maybe he genuinely doesn't need as much sleep as some.

seeker Thu 15-Nov-12 11:23:54

Fuzzy mum- I am in awe of that level of organisation!

What happens if there's football on?

elah11 Thu 15-Nov-12 11:17:00

11 yr old here goes to bed at half 8 during the school week, 9pm at weekends, he is up before 7am most mornings. Most of his friends seem to stay up later but I am a firm believer in them needing a good nights sleep, and dh and I getting a bit of free time smile. Btw the 6yr old goes at 7.45pm or so and the 13yr old at 9pm (later at weekends and hols)

Fuzzymum1 Thu 15-Nov-12 11:13:51

Our kids' bedtimes get later by 15 minutes each birthday. At 14 DS2 goes to bed at 9.30 so at 11 he was going to bed at 8.45. They have always had 30 minutes reading time after bedtime before lights out.

sausagesandwich34 Tue 13-Nov-12 23:20:13

DD goes at 9pm

half an hour after her 8yo sister

she's older so gets treated as such -calling for friends, walking up to the shops etc, a slightly later bedtime is part of that

lljkk Tue 13-Nov-12 23:15:24

Similar to you, OP, but maybe lights out half hour later.

I am just snarling at shooing 13yo DS to bed now. blush

TheOriginalSteamingNit Tue 13-Nov-12 23:13:22

I dunno, seeker: dd gets very cringey if there's anything 'rude' on, and some things I'd rather watch just with dp! We do need some child free evening, I find...

seeker Tue 13-Nov-12 22:28:54

Depends what's going on and how tired he is. Sometimes it's 7.30. Sometimes it's 10.30.

Can't be doing with this "our time" nonsense. The children live in the house too!

foxy6 Tue 13-Nov-12 22:25:29

my 13 yr old is supposed to be at 9pm, my 9yr old 8.30 and my 5 yr old pretty much when we can get him to stay there. although they are all normally asleep by 9.30, except the 5yr old who is sometimes still awake at 11 shock but them he's never been a good sleeper. weekends and school hols are and hour later and if the older boys have a sleepover, well that's a laugh they never sleep there friends go home in the morning to go to bed

marriedinwhite Tue 13-Nov-12 22:19:08

Well mine were always 10.30ish, possibly later sometimes. However, neither ever needed much sleep and always bounced out of bed on the first call. DS doesn't now but he is nearly 18.

Hennycluckington Tue 13-Nov-12 22:18:42

Oh yes and everybody in his class is watching I'm a cleb... Personally it makes me wretch so I don't watch it, but I feel a bit tight not letting him. I have recorded it for him but funnily enough it doesnt seem so important that he watches is prior to 8.30pm wink

member Tue 13-Nov-12 22:18:23

My 11 yr old started yr 7 in September & a few weeks afterwards, asked if she could stay up later as friends of hers chatted about seeing Corrie/Waterloo Road (her & her eight yr old sister used to both go upstairs at 8pm).

She is now allowed to stay downstairs till 9pm (watershed), has watched a few episodes of Corrie & but I think she's not that impressed by what's on between 8 & 9pm, & quite often chooses to go up not long after her sister. She's never asleep before 10.30pm though.

Hennycluckington Tue 13-Nov-12 22:12:53

Thanks for replying everyone. It seems in bed for 9pm or there about is about right then that's good. It feels about the right time for him otherwise he would be grumpy the next day if it got any later and I don't want him being tired in school either.
His phone has messages on it in the morning unanswered and the time they have come through are quite late from the night before.. DS doesn't read or respond to the texts until the morning as he knows I would take his phone off him if he did smile
loshad I can feel the minutes ticking by until our couple time is lost in a mist of sleepless nights, nappies and feeding. Another reason why our evenings our precious I guess smile

sandyballs Tue 13-Nov-12 22:02:42

My 11 year old DDs go up about 8.30 and read until 9ish, up at 6.30. Not allowed phones in rooms as I know their friends will text. No tv in rooms, they've never asked which surprises me.

Hassle here as well over im a celeb, apparently 'everyone' is up watching it apart from them! I don't understand why it isn't on earlier really. They fall asleep instantly and are hard to wake in the mornings so until that changes I'll stick to these times.

Weekends and hols much more relaxed.

winterhill Tue 13-Nov-12 22:01:07

From the age of 11 my DS2 started going to bed after the regional news on BBC1, so that would be about 10.30.
He reads for 15 minutes then I can hear him turn the light out.
That's on a school night. He gets up at 6.50am

On a weekend it's whenever really. Usually 11ish but if he sits up with us and watches a film or reads his books I'm not really bothered as long as we don't have to get up early.

ooer Tue 13-Nov-12 22:00:47

Bath 8.30.
In bed for 9, reading.
Lights off 9.30.

He sometimes comes through again 20 mins later saying he can't sleep but it's not often - he's usually after a sprinkling of lavender oil!

I get him up at 7 a.m.

JackieLanaTurn Tue 13-Nov-12 22:00:39

DD goes to bed at 8:30. She won't go a minute earlier, as she cries, 'but my bedtime is 8:30!'. She often leaves the light on for half an hour, but she's usually asleep by 9pm.

She probably has lots of texts, etc, at night.

At weekends it's 9:30 onwards. Sometimes even later. She likes to stay up late when she can....

Hope you manage to sort things out.

GrimmaTheNome Tue 13-Nov-12 21:54:23

>He complains that his friends get to stay up and watch TV
A lot of post 9pm TV isn't suitable for an 11 yo. I wouldn't want my 13yo watching it (for future reference, lights out at 9:30 weeknights, 10-10:30 fri/sat but not watching TV that late and certainly not texting...fortunately for me it doesn't ever seem to have occured to DD to take her phone into her bedroom)

Loshad Tue 13-Nov-12 21:53:33

stupidly late, but he doesn't need any sleep, never has done hmm
supposed to be 9 pm on weekdays, but master of dragging it out, needing a bath (stealth reveal of mud caked legs from earlier in the day), urgent messages requiring him to return downstairs etc etc etc
usually in bed around 9.30 pm and asleep by 10 during the week. He is up at 6.30 and does a minimum of 2 hrs sport a day so he should be tired.........
(no tv, xbox etc in room)
you are probably about to lose your time as couple though, sorry to tell you that wink

ledkr Tue 13-Nov-12 21:53:11

Dd goes at 8.30 but us often still awake at midnight. It's been going on months now and we are all knackered

tigerdriverII Tue 13-Nov-12 21:52:58

DS(10) goes up around 8.30, reads til 9. ATM he's trying to stay up every night to watch I'm a sleb. Got the hump big style when I packed him off to bed at 5 to 9. I don't believe for a minute that any of his pals are watching it. Fri and Sat he can stay up a bit later as long as no whinging the next day.

OwedToAutumn Tue 13-Nov-12 21:51:22

I send DD2 up at 8:30, usually her lights are out between then and 9:00. At the weekends it's about half an hour later.

DD 1 is 13 and I usually remind her to go to sleep at about 9:00.

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