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Is it wrong that my 12week old nurses for 2 hours every night till she gets to sleep?

(25 Posts)
Pipsytwos Tue 13-Nov-12 18:51:31

My DD has always slept well for a breastfed baby, we were getting 5 hour stretches when she was newborn! But every night she feeds for about 2 hours constantly (more comfort than anything else, I think) She finally goes to sleep between 10.30-11.30 then sleeps through till 8. Is it wrong that she nurses for that long to go to sleep? She doesn't seem able to fall asleep without it! My mum says she should be going to sleep earlier and being put down awake. I try but she just cries! Any advice appreciated. I don't want to do cry it out at this age, if ever! thanks

Fuzzymum1 Tue 13-Nov-12 18:53:39

Sounds like cluster feeding to me - I understand it's perfectly normal.

MagiMingeWassailsAgain Tue 13-Nov-12 18:55:18

She is doing a good long sleep afterwards - the long feeding in the evening is helping her to do that.

If you cut the evening feeding short you will probably both be miserable and the baby may wake up every hour or two in the night to catch up.

It's a totally normal feeding pattern that doesn't need fixing.

MagiMingeWassailsAgain Tue 13-Nov-12 18:55:37

Oh and advice - Nod, Smile, Ignore.

crazygracieuk Tue 13-Nov-12 18:56:10

It sounds like you have a system that works so Iwouldnt change a thing.

There is a wide range of patterns and appetites in babies so person log I wouldn't worry. 2 hours is a long time but I'd happily do it if my baby slept a long time like yours.

Our mums in the 70s were told to feed every 3-4 hours and crying it out etc was normal for babies. Scientific studies show that it's not good for babies under 6m to cry it out so don't go there.

Nicknamegrief Tue 13-Nov-12 18:56:40

My first and third (both of them were up in the night as well) went through a phase like this. I just stuck it out to be honest. I can't remember how long it lasted though. I just made sure I had snacks, drink, good book and TV remote all within my reach.

No advice but do you want to do it differently or just feel you should?

Pipsytwos Tue 13-Nov-12 18:56:53

Oh really? So you don't think I'm setting myself up for hard times getting her to sleep when she's older?

Pipsytwos Tue 13-Nov-12 19:00:55

I just feel I should be doing it differently. My mum and people I know talk about their babies going to sleep at 7 and mine just wouldn't dream of it. I'm quite happy with the way she sleeps as I get enough sleep and I'm not keen on rocking the boat. It's just hard to argue with a woman who's had 4 babies when I'm on my first! ;)

Acinonyx Tue 13-Nov-12 19:07:45

About that age, dd fed like that in the evening. They're not really feeding - it's for comfort - but that's fine with me especially if it leads to good sleep and a happy baby. Our record was 5 hours (I just sat on the sofa watching endless TV and eating bonbons ) and that really was too long - but it was usually 1-2 hours. If it wasn't a first child - it would have to be in a sling to do that.

It's not for everyone - horses for courses. Do what feels good and right for you.

lolalotta Tue 13-Nov-12 19:08:09

We always tried to put our dd down for bed at 7.00pm from quite early on (I can't remember how old she was when we stared this) but we would walk her to sleep cradling her first and then pop her in her cot. We didn't get into the routine of putting her down awake until she was a bit older...however she would wake up about every 2.5/3 hrs for a BF after that...TBH if she had cluster fed like your little one is doing and then slept for that long I would have been VERY HAPPY!!!! Go with it, why fix what isn't broke??? That stretch of uninterrupted sleep for you sounds like bliss with a little one!!! grin

Nicknamegrief Tue 13-Nov-12 19:08:10

My first slept really well from about 9months (7-7) and my third did that at about 7months. My second was completely different (pattern wise) but also never FF.

In my opinion your little one sounds like she's a good sleeper at the moment for her age. If you are happy then stick with it. Just think of all those extra cuddles you are getting every evening.

I do believe that every child is different so whether you have had 1,4 or 14 it is still a little bit like the first time each time.

ipswichwitch Tue 13-Nov-12 19:08:25

DS used to cluster feed for 4 hours til 2am (sob) and woke every 2hrs through the night so I am very envy
At the grand old age of 1, he only wakes once through the night though. I got a lot of "rod for your own back" type comments, mostly of people who never bf and were frankly clueless- suggesting feeding every 4hr and so forth. I just smiled and ignored

malymoo Tue 13-Nov-12 19:11:20

Just enjoy having a baby that sleeps well at night! My DS (3 now) woke every 2 hours to feed until he was 6 months. It was a killer. My DD (10 weeks) is very similar to yours, but she cluster feeds for between 3-4 hours, before sleeping through until 5. I'm happy to spend all evening feeding her if it means I get a good nights sleep! I'm not worrying about routines at the moment, I'm just going with the flow. smile

Pipsytwos Tue 13-Nov-12 20:21:05

Ah thank you everyone for all your comments. I was perfectly happy with her sleeping habits until my mum made out that there was a problem. It's reassuring to hear that I'm not going wrong! I'll just go with it and the next time I get comments I'll just ignore it.

Thank you again!! smile

SpectresandSpooks Wed 14-Nov-12 21:49:26

Mine did the same. My sister and HV made out it was a problem. It wasn't for me and she slept well. She also napped like that in the day. She stopped b feeding at 15.5 months and up until that point she fed to sleep and changed to being cuddled to sleep no problems so don't worry about it and only do what right for you and your baby.

valiumredhead Thu 15-Nov-12 09:05:44

God That's fab if she sleeps through the night - who cares how much she feeds beforehand?! grin

waterrat Thu 15-Nov-12 13:08:05

my god do not mess with such good sleep!

the only reason it would matter about feeding her to sleep as compared to self settling is if she was waking frequently and not able to get back without feeding.

You might find as she gets older that she does wake more - and you will then want to teach her how to self settle. But - deal with it when it is actually a problem for you - not before!

I have just taught my 6month old to fall asleep alone and it was so easy - I wish I had not worried about it for so long - when you want to, it will take a day or two to show them how. babies are quick learners when they are in the right age/ developmental stage to learn.

Iggly Thu 15-Nov-12 13:52:03


Your mum won't quite remember what it's like to have a little baby. We never quite do - otherwise we couldn't have anymore.

Hyperballad Thu 15-Nov-12 13:55:14

Sounds like a dream to me!!

I wouldn't be changing a thing if mine was like that!!

CharlieMouseWillDoIt Thu 15-Nov-12 14:14:24

Another one saying that I wouldn't change a thing. My DD would cluster feed in the evenings and would eventually settle down for her "long sleep" around 11.30-midnight. When I say "long sleep", it would be until about 3.30am, and then I'd be up for another couple of hours in the night, eventually getting back to sleep at about 5am.

I think this is completely normal for a bf baby and it is great that yours sleeps so well at night.

elfycat Thu 15-Nov-12 14:24:00

Sounds perfect. Just make sure you have all you need (drinks/snacks) and get your feet up and you get control of the remote.

Those long feeds are satisfying her and giving you long nights envy I only used to get 4-5 hours. DD1 used to feed from 10pm-midnight when she'd fall asleep and I could race off to bed and sleep. She always fell asleep while feeding and rarely be put down awake until after her first birthday. Now 4 she still goes to bed late (sigh) but will take herself off to read a book before turning out the light before sleeping for 9 hours. You are not doing any harm settling her by feeding.

RosannaBanana Thu 15-Nov-12 14:29:30

My baby is 12 weeks and has an identical pattern! I consider myself hugely lucky- she's my second- to have such an amazing sleeper smile

Relax and enjoy!

nickelrocketgoBooooooom Thu 15-Nov-12 14:52:52

My 10 month old feeds every 2 hours all day and all night.

having said that, in the last couple of weeks (she's 11 months old now), she's started sleeping more at night, eating more solids and drinking more water, and has dropped to every 3 hours.

yours is perfectly normal.
everything is perfectly normal if she's thriving! smile

nickelrocketgoBooooooom Thu 15-Nov-12 14:53:32

yes, that's what it's called, cluster feeding.

it's getting enough food in for a good nice long sleep.

nickelrocketgoBooooooom Thu 15-Nov-12 14:56:27

oh, and DD has always gone to bed/sleep when we do, so about 10:30ish.
and right now, she won't sleep until midnight.

why try to get the baby to sleep earlier than it needs to, just so you can have an evening without her? it doesn't matter! none of it matters! just enjoy not having to change your schedule to fit her, and be glad of that lovely 8o'clock lie-in in the morning!

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